Mated to Werewolf Brothers (boyxboyxboyxboyxboyxboyxboy)

Chapter 12

                ~kitts P.O.V~

I kept thinking about the guy's I want to tell that I love them before I move , I just don't know how. The only thing I am unsure about is, should I? What if they laugh and make fun of me, or what if they become hateful towards me- well more. I shiver at the thought.  Oh ya, we got back from the picnic awhile ago so I'm just on my bed thinking.

{{~Warning: self harm, self degrading, and so forth skip or continue with caution please, if it's to much take a self care break baby~}}

   I slowly sit up what if they will hate me more? what if they kick me out, or ignore me. Wait the biggest problem is if I tell them what if they reject me? That would be terrible and it would hurt my Neko.  He would only get hurt from it because it would be all my fault cause I am not perfect like they need me to be. I went to my bathroom and locked the door. I opened a drawer and pulled out a razor I stole back. I lifted up my sleeve and slowly traced words on my wrist and put some regular cuts. I heard my bedroom door open so I started to rush to put away the blade.  My arm was bleeding a good amount so I wiped it with a black towel, so the blood won't show, afterward pulling down my sleeve.

            I unlock the door and walk out nervously might I add. As soon as I walked out I was pushed forward and went into someone's chest. I felt someone take off my jacket than my shirt. I looked down remembering what I wrote on my wrist. Unwanted. Whore. Slut. I don't know, maybe it's my  "crystal" clear memory of the boys, when I can forget everything else in the world but every word they ever said to me before, still comes back.

        I hear Keith, and Mac growl, Emit tagging along his chest rumbling against me after hearing just that noise I flinch and cover my head and neck. I will never tell them this but after we moved my parents grew mean. They only hit me sometimes, but when they did I was bruised bloody and had a few bones broken. No you may think, oh Kitt you streetfight, how can you be scared. They aren't people I know, people who could stab me in the back, lie, betray me, get close and then rare me down again. They are random people, they aren't my parents or mates, my friend, nothing. I was quite a fast healer but that doesn't mean it has healed my heart or how I grew nervous and scared more fearful of everyone in my life, I shut people out, I closed myself off, at a time I even was homeschooled. Just like when I wS here. I got depressed, I didn't eat, still can't sometimes, I couldn't sleep or stay awake, I couldn't leave bed or stay in. It was awful but they didn't care enough to notice. So when the boys made that sound it made me think of my dad he only hit me when he was drunk the same with my mom. She broke a wine glass on my head once, I had to go to the hospital and I lied saying I ran into a cabinet and it shattered on my head. Everyone believed me.

             I always covered it up as falling down the stairs, or I fell from a tree, even ran into something. They always had believed it from me removing all the blood, the evidence of it the scene that happened while they were drunk I did it every single time. I never let them know how awful they were, when they didn't drink cause of their awful child, they fought and drunk. They were kind aside for that, amazing everyone loved them, they donated to charity, they fought for human and other species rights. It was only me who knew their dark secret. I quickly release a whimper as Mac grabs my arm not to rough but not softly. So while I was like this I blurted out to many things that I didn't want them knowing at least yet, I couldn't hold my tongue when nervous it was so lose might as well fall out.

"I.. I'm sorry.." I whisper looking down my hair falling to my face as I tear up, tail tucking between my legs, "I... I.." I mumble tugging back my arm hugging myself, "I know you all hate me.. I know you're just being nice to use me like everyone else.." I whisper, "I don't mind though... I.. I love you all again. I don't want to, I want to hate you, I want to scream, I wanna hit you and beat on you, hurt you like you did me.." I whisper, "But I can't. It hurts now to even think of it, I get sad. I'm not sure if you all changed, or if it's an act, or if you haven't changed but decided to give me a chance... anyway I don't care... just don't leave me.. Everyone does. You can hurt me again, you can use me, you can breed me and use me as a tool.. just don't abandon me...  My parents did when they started hitting and you guys already have once don't do it again.."

They all hug me, staying silent as do I. Atleast I said what I meant to them for once. I start to cry on Keith's neck. "Kitt boo why didn't you tell us, and we do love you so we thought you still hated us. Its not as if we don't deserve it... but we wanted to try with you and you were cold every time... Ethan explains softly to me. I nod and hug them all tighter, snuggling into them sniffling. I was deep in depression and I believe these six males, my mates, will help me through it. I hope at least. I quickly cheer up after that and ask if the boys will go to sleep with me. They all agree, and take off there shirts and pants. I slowly took off mine and put on shorts and a Macs hoodie, laying down with them. I fall asleep listening to their heartbeats and breathing.