The Man With Fifteen Questions

What made her choose me?

When being in a situation where one wonder how a situation suddenly happened it can't be helped but look back on the events and find clues how a disaster should have been avoided. But while looking back I only wonder what made my ex-fiancee choose me. I wasn't the type who would act like her older protective brother. I never said any compliment to her, only casual greetings and questions. I never gave her gifts or flowers even if we were already seen as a couple. I was nice to her, casual may be the right term, so there's no reason for her to see me as her husband. 

I don't know how love at first sight happens but if it occurs isn't it about meeting a person for the first time and seeing something that would make the other person feel in love? So what was it that she sees in me? What did I do to make her love me? These unnecessary questions lingered in my head until I experience what she probably experience. I fell for someone who no longer love me. And to explain it is hard enough as much as it is hard to admit it. But as soon as I admit to myself that I am in love everything seemed clear. Like why she suddenly sees me as someone special. And why she was so sure that I should be her husband. Logic has nothing to do with it. Actions may have been the source of it. But nothing in his world could clearly explain why love happens.

I used to think that falling in love might have been about seeing someone as perfect. So it made me uneasy when she declared that she love me. I cringe whenever I recall that moment because I'm not perfect. I thought she was too young to know what she was saying. And that I should act old enough to handle the situation perfectly. Soon... I was stupefied when I came to a point where I see her as someone almost perfect, that no flaws or faults can change my mind as I made a decision she already did when she was eighteen.