The Man With Fifteen Questions

Will she marry me?

No, she won’t marry me. She told me that. And I was so stunned that she could tell it straight to my face.

I went to her house to try courting her again, this time, in a more normal manner. But again she’s one step ahead of me. She seduced me.

I knew that didn’t sound right. After all, we were not in good terms and I’m the only one insisting to have her back in my life. But weird stuff happened—something did happen.

Normally, people would think that there’s a formula when it comes to success. But recently, once I do certain things I don’t expect the results to be as good as I want it to be. I learned this since she always caught me unprepared. Since she’s now good at pissing me off, I never really thought that she’s in love with me again after what happened. Days after I went to her place it shouldn’t be surprising that we were back to square one.

It’s worst this time.

I blurted out the things I’d wanted to say. I told her I want her back in my life that I wanted to marry her and have kids with her. I even asked if she was still mad at me and she said no. She even explained what happened between us was just her way of helping me to get over the feelings I thought I had with her.

I didn’t yell as soon as I heard that but what she said next made me feel angrier... with myself.

She was giving me excuses to justify what we’ve said and done. She’s explaining that none of us should apologize because both of us have our own fault. It doesn’t matter what we had then and even what we have now because the fact remains that we don’t love each other.

At that moment, I can’t just let her feel she had it all figured out so I told her that I’ll keep on proving to her that I love her. In return, she told me she’ll just keep on proving that I’m wrong.

It was a clear deal.

And it’s a step ahead from where we were.

So it’s not a bad thing.

Or maybe I just wanted to be optimistic.