Ascending (Sequel to Rock Bottom)

Chapter 27 - Weasels No. 2!

Warning: terrible, awful, no good very bad jokes ahead. Proceed with caution. 

The first Akatsuki member showed up soon after Sakura's mini panic attack.

"Eh? It's you, chicken-man dattebayo!" Naruto exclaimed, his eyes widening as Hidan and Kakuzu approached.

"The fuck? I thought Leader-sama sent us to take care of some strong shinobi, not a group of fucking kids!"

"Says the guy who was prancing around in the woods like a girl the other day!" Naruto butted in again.

Sakura narrowed her eyes at her teammate, "And what's wrong with being a girl?" Naruto hesitated for a moment before breaking out into a sheepish grin, realizing his mistake.

"Absolutely nothing, Sakura, unless you're a guy being called a girl. It's like if I give you ramen and you reply by saying 'that's some great BBQ you got there!' It doesn't make sense 'ttebayo," The blonde would have continued to ramble if Hidan didn't chuck his scythe at him.

Naruto let out a yelp before he ducked, saying something about "grilling the chicken man with a Katon Jutsu" But Sasuke didn't hear him as he was already charging at Hidan with his Mangekyo activated.

Sakura watched the scene unfold from afar. She contemplated whether she should join in or not, but then decided that Naruto and Sasuke had it more than under control. Hidan was just barely dodging Naruto's endless barrage of Bijuu Bombs while twisting to avoid Sasuke's incoming blows.

She glanced at Kakuzu for a moment, noticing that the nin had a sour look on his face as he watched his teammate fight hers. There was no telling what was going on in his head, but, from what she had heard, it was probably something about the most cost-effective way to end them.

Suddenly Sakura saw a blur of white hair before there was a loud clang to her right, and she nearly fell over. Kakashi had just barely intercepted a long black tendril from decapitating her. "Pay attention, you almost died!" Kakashi barked before directing his attention back to Kakuzu's now irritated form.

Sakura mentally cursed, she was useless once again. She stood and watched silently as Kakashi charged at Kakuzu, a million different scenarios playing out in her head. But her mind went blank once again as she saw Naruto and Sasuke go flying in opposite directions away from Hidan.

"You idiot!" Kakuzu's voice boomed through the forest as he dodged Kakashi's Chidori, "We came here for the Uchiha, and you just flung him to Kami-Knows-Where." Kakashi had taken a good step back from the S-rank nin, grateful for the rest, but still wary of an unexpected attack from him.

"What the fuck are you on? Leader said he wanted the pink one too." Hidan snapped back,

"That was a week ago." Kakuzu deadpanned as he smacked the back of Hidan's head, the sound of a bone cracking was heard as Hidan's head lolled downwards for a second, but then it sprang back up as if nothing had happened. "He wants the Uchiha now,"

"Alright smartass. But I'm getting pinky because I don't want my ass bitten off."

"Leader won't 'bite our asses off' if we bring the Uchiha because that was what we came here to do."

"You're right," Hidan started, turning his full attention to his teammate, "There's no way he'd want a piece of your crusty ass anyway." Kakuzu's eyes narrowed slightly at his partner but said nothing. Hidan took this as a sign of victory and smirked triumphantly.

"So you're gay for Pein-sama." Hidan's expression changed from dumbfounded to enraged in a matter of seconds.

"You-" The Jashinist then let out a long string of curses at his partner and only shut up when he had run out of breath (and insults).

But that proved to take longer than the two of them had expected, since Hidan had a rather extensive and colorful repertoire of insults, and by the time he had finished, Team 7 was long gone.

"Do you think they've noticed by now dattebayo?" Naruto asked, mostly to himself. He was actually in very good condition considering the fact that Hidan had flung him around the forest of death like a monkey on crack. (A/N: Don't do drugs, kids.)

"Probably, we'll have to be more careful from now on," Kakashi replied as they continued to run back to the Uchiha compound. Hopefully, Gaara had sorted out the tungsten, it was hard fending off enemies without Sakura's particle release to back them up.

It was long past sunset, and the moon lit up Konoha's streets as the four of them ran across the rooftops. Sasuke was having the time of his life. But, thanks to the darkness, nobody saw his childlike grin.

Sadly, the grin was smacked off his face when they neared the Uchiha compound. Before, Sasuke was able to sense the spread out and moving chakra signatures of the clan members. But now, they all seemed to be concentrated in one spot.

Naruto realized something was off the moment they stepped into the compound. No, he didn't sense any difference in the chakra signatures as Sasuke had. In fact, all he had noticed as Sasuke's eyes as their expression shifted from confused, to slightly panicked, and then shocked.

But it wasn't until they entered the main branch's building that Naruto realized what was happening. All the remaining Uchiha were gathered in the main living space. All of them were sharing looks of disbelief and anger. It took Naruto another moment to process was going on, but everything clicked in Sasuke's head the moment Team 7 entered the main branch house.

Standing in the middle of the room was a tall man, donned in the signature Akatsuki cloak. He turned to where Sasuke was standing and offered what Sasuke assumed was a smile.

"Long time no see, little outoto."

dun Dun DUN!!