Who I Used To Be (Karma X Nagisa)

I Love Him

Karma Pov

"What is wrong with you,I would never want to be your best friend, you weirdo. Your violent and scary." He said. "I can read your thoughts, I could never love someone like you. Bye Karma."

I woke up in a teary eyed sweat. "What are you doing to me Nagisa?" I decided to start getting ready.

Once I got ready for school I went to talk to Nagisa as I always do, but today I saw something heartrenching, I really hated it, and I don't know why. Seeing him with those two made me feel cheated. He was talking to Sugino and Kayano, laughing and having fun. I hate them and I don't know why. I didn't want to talk to them, or anyone at the moment.

But of course Okuda walked up to me. I totally forgot about her. I thought she would be able to make me feel better but then she said. "Hey Karmy Warmy!" I snickered and felt like pukeing. That was the worst nickname ever in the history of nicknames. "Do Not call me that." I said angerly. She looked hurt and honestly I didn't care, I just wanted to punch something, so before I punched her, I walked off.

*time skip brought to you by "ITS A FUCKING SCARECROW AGAIN."*

Today was the absolute worst. Me and Nagisa didn't talk at all. Not having him around for even one day was torture. It was boring and I didn't get to see his smile that always brightened up my day. Everyone was scared of me and didn't want to talk to me because of the angry vibes I was giving off. The worst was seeing Nagisa having so much fun without me, I could tell his smile was fake though. I've only seen him smile for real once and that was when we had our sleepover.

So why? Why is he holding hands with Kayano on the way home? Why is she kissing him on the cheek? Why is it that the fake smile he has had all day being used on a girl? It was a horrible sight. I could feel my heart being broken to a million pieces. I had a frog in my throat and I want to cry, but I held it until I got inside my own house.

Tears rolled off my golden eyes, as I threw down my backpack down and ran to the garage. I punched the punching bag as hard as I could. I was angry, sad, hurt, broken, and there was nothing I could do about it. I screamed out in pain. "WHY?????!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME!?!?!? WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD!?!?!? WHY ARE YOU WITH HER!?!?!?!? GOD DAMN IT!!!"

As I started to calm down so did my screams, but not my tears. They continued to roll down my face as I sat on the cold hard floor in the garage. Why am I so hurt by this? Why does he make me feel this way? The way his smile makes my heart beat faster. The way that as long as he is happy, I'm happy. The way that he makes me feel cheated when he is with Sugino or Kayano. What is this feeling?

My eyes widened when it clicked into place. I like Nagisa, No. I liked him for the past three years, when I started hanging out with him more I started to love him. How stupid could I be. I'm dense to my own feelings. I love Nagisa, and he is dating Kayano now.

I decided to go to bed without eating, kinda lost my appetite along with how straight I thought I was. I payed there thinking about him. The more I thought about how that smile of his will never be mine, how he will never hold my hand, how much that for so long I just wanted him to be by my side, it made me depressed. I realized that the reason he won't even be my friend is because I said something stupid. I wanted to cry again, but I didn't allow myself. I just laced in bed until I feel asleep, the last thing I imagine is his smile.

*time skip again, sorry!!*

I decided I would apologize to Nagisa. I at least want to be his friend, although I can never tell him how I feel. During lunch I'll tell him I want to train again.

I walked up to him, he was talking to Kayano and Sugino again. "Hey Nagisa, can I talk to you for a minute." I asked. "Uh sure, I'll be back in a minute Kay." He said as he winked at Kayano. I felt my heart clench looking at the two of them, it made me want to cry again, but I held it back.

"What did you want." He said plainly. "I wanted to say I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said we should stop training." His eyes lit up, and I felt my heart flutter. "It's ok Karma! I think I over reacted anyway!" He said excitedly. I smiled. "Practice after school?" I asked. "Of course Karma." He said, I'm so glad that we are friends again. "I missed hanging out with you Karma." He said casually and I felt my face heat up a small bit, I felt about 20 feet tall. Who knew 7 simple words could make my heart beat so fast.

I really do love him.

A/N: I'm so sorry this chapter sucks, it took so long for me to write and I just couldn't find the right inspiration. I love you my little Karmagisa Tribe!! Until next time.