|| CRUSH || [✅]

Regret and Reality

Regret.

Satu perkataan ini yang terus bermain dalam kepala aku. Bila aku teringat semua yang berlaku, those silent treatment bertween us, kalau lah aku lebih berani untuk bercakap, maybe...just maybe antara kita ada sesuatu. Tak pun cukup untuk jelaskan segala soalan dalam hati aku.

IF

If aku boleh undurkan masa, mahu aku tanyakan pada dia;

Apa semua ni? Kenapa kau buat ni? Kenapa kau buat tu? For almost 5 years or maybe more than that your action makes me confuse. Ya mungkin aku yang terlalu terdesak sampai apa yang kau buat, all your treatment to me makes me feel special. Tapi aku yakin, aku tak salah. You do mean something behind your action. Right? All those silent stare from you, what the meaning behind it? I'm not blind for not seeing it. And whatever it is, please let me know. Tell me everything. Do you hate me? Do you like me?

Tapi sekarang all those questions akan selamanya tergantung tiada jawapan. Sampai bila-bila pun hanya aku yang tinggal dalam episode memori ni.

Reality.

Dalam cerita ini, hanya aku yang tinggal. I can never continue this story. My life episode, that have him as one of the character will stop here. I can't never complete and give this 'crush' story of mine a happy ending.

Aku tahu aku kena terima. Yeah and I'm trying. And that's why now, bit by bit I'm getting better. Go on with my life, trying to be happy, struggle with my life, fighting with myself, locking the memories and I'm walking forward.

Dan yeah, dengan menulis aku jumpa ruang untuk bernafas. Kadang-kadang menulis itu lebih baik dari bercerita. Lagipun siapa yang nak dengar cerita ini? Aku dengan dia tiada tiada apa-apa. Hanya aku yang ada crush pada dia. aku tak pernah tahu cerita di pihak dia. And he NEVER said anything.

Jadi sebelum aku tamatkan cerita ini, ada beberapa perkara yang aku nak tulis sebab benda ni aku tak akan pernah lafazkannya dengan mulut.

To my mom and dad, I'm okay now. Don't worry. But I'm sorry. I can't forget him. Not now, not tomorrow or even days after this. It's not easy for me. He hold a special place in my heart. For years, no matter how many boys I met, he still hold that special place in my heart. And I don't know when I can open my heart again. I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry dad. I'm sorry. If you ask me why I'm so devastated when literally he's nothing to me and we don't have any relationship,aside from ME having a huge crush on him, this is all the reason. And again, I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry dad.

And to you, my crush, even I can't never meet you again, even this words will never reach you but still I want to said it out loud.

You who makes my day colourful in my gloomy boring high school days,

You who makes me smile,

You who cares for me despite sometimes being mean to me,

I wanna said thanks.

Thanks for all those memories.

Thanks for all those motivation.

Thanks for accepting me as your friend.

I think I love you but it's all useless now.

And I hope you happy there. I'll never forget you.

I'll smile in my life, I'll be happy.

For you, for me, and for us I'll be happy.

So thanks again for giving me the feeling of having a crush.

And my final words,

Goodbye, Fateh.

---END---

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A/N: So this is the ending.... lain kan dengan cerita yang sebelum ni? By the way, do comment apa pendapat korang dengan these style of writing or the storyline what so ever lah and give this story a lot of vote. And thanks sebab sudi baca. I'll come back with even great and better story. Please do anticipate it. - Mikorin.