Conquer the Wasteland

Exercise, Explosions, And Secrets

"WHAT IS THIS HORRIBLE FEELING IN MY LEGS," I screamed. Liam rolled over, sat up, and shoved a hand through his soft halo of bedhead. Groundhead, actually. We'd fallen asleep back-to-back in a knot of pines in an effort to keep warm. Rubbing his eyes, Liam squinted sleepily at me.

"What feeling."

"IT'S LIKE BURNING AND I DON'T WANT TO MOVE."

"How's that different from normal?"

"BURNING, FLOP-TARD, IS NOT A NORMAL MORNING FEELING."

"Well, it could be from sleeping on the cold, hard ground." He blinked hard, scrunching up his nose. "But you should be used to that. Maybe... mmmmm... it could be..."

He stopped. A sunny, perfect grin spread across his face and broke into a laugh that was so contagious I wanted to laugh too. I restrained myself, instead glaring at him from my laying-down position.

"What's so funny!"

Liam was back to lying on the ground, holding his sides and rolling back and forth with that stupid look that gets stuck on your face when you're laughing so hard it doesn't make noise.

"HEY! FLOP-TARD! REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR CHEEKS AND EXPLAIN!"

This only made him laugh harder as he pounded his fist against the ground, wheezing as tears rolled down his face. He finally slowed his laughter enough to wipe away the tears, sigh, and sit up.

"You're sore, toots. It's what happens when you... ya know... exercise."

The look I gave him sent him into another fit of laughter.

"Who's the mean one now," I grunted, pushing myself into a sitting position.

"Hey," his tone seemed less amused now, and more...apologetic. Huh, weird, I didn't know he felt. "I didn't mean it like that..."

"SURE YOU DIDN'T" I said, quite sarcastically might I add.

Groaning, I made an attempt at moving. My right leg screamed at me angrily as I leaned on it, and my left leg just wailed pathetically. "Stupid Rednecks." I cursed them and their ladles under my breath. If we hadn't run so much I would be PERFECTLY fine.

"Maybe, if you tried walking....it will help." I only heard his voice, and maybe that was better because if I was facing him, I would have slapped him. My legs wobbled and I began to fall, my arms flailing. My fingers latched to the tree nearest to me, and I awkwardly shimmied closer to it. "Well," I grunted, dragging my left leg which seemed to go limp. "Maybe if your truck didn't break down this wouldn't have happened Liam." I ground out through clenched teeth.

Shuffling sounded behind me, and I knew he was rolling the wimpy, ragged blanket up the best he could to carry. I panted, moving my angry right leg the best I could, my head began to pound. The morning mist made my breath visible and my arms were peppered with goose-bumps, great. "And maybe if you didn't attempt to be all mountain man and lead us trekking through the woods, we wouldn't have been chased by an angry mutated bear! IT HAD FOUR ROWS OF TEETH LIAM. FOUR." My head throbbed harder. "I was very good at avoiding things like that LIAM, even better than my skill at avoiding credit card bills! But NO." I whipped my head around to glare at him, but in my anger I was very quick. My neck popped, causing a crackling noise to erupt in the silence of the trees.

"MOTHER HUBBARD" I screeched, pain streaking down my spine with the speed of lighting on crack.

Liam burst into another fit of belly-aching laughter, no doubt rolling around on the ground.