Coffee Shop (EXO Xiuhan/Lumin)

Confusion is the worst kind of emotion

A/N: I finally got my ass in gear and now I update quite often... is that okay?

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Minseok couldn't do anything but nod. He didn't know if he would've had the courage do to something like that, if it was Lay who was trapped.

He shook his head slightly and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, walking in circles on the white marble floor. What was he supposed to do now? Lay had gone just like that. And he was alone with Luhan. It had been okay when they were eating, but somehow, things were different now. Every time Minseok were alone with Luhan, he had this feeling in his chest that he couldn't really figure out. The only thing he could imagine, was that somehow, his mind meant that Luhan was special.

"Well..." Luhan said after a while. "I should probably go. Really, thank you for the food! I completely forgot to eat this morning, as I was busy with something else." And before Minseok could do anything, Luhan started to put on his shoes. "I've already cleaned up the kitchen, by the way," he said as he slid into his deep green jacket, and smiled at Minseok.

"Honestly, Minseok. You've been a great help, even though you didn't need to do this. I don't know what I can do to pay you back," Luhan walked closer to Minseok. And Minseok, as the person he was, couldn't to anything but stand there. He tried to collect his thoughts at least enough to say something, but it was no use. 'Say something, do something, anything!' he ordered himself. But his head seemed to be all over the place, and it was like his body and mind was two separate things that wouldn't work together.

Luhan looked into the eyes of the boy opposite of him, whose eyes were wide open in both surprise and speechlessness. "I don't know when we'll meet next time. But until then..." Luhan's words trailed off in the silence, not completing the sentence.

In the end, Minseok got his head somewhat together, and couldn't bear the quietness anymore. "Until then what?" He asked, his words barely a whisper. His cheeks felt hot with Luhan so close. They were only a half-meter or so apart, which they normally wouldn't think of. But now, the setting was something else, something none of them really could put their finger on.

"Until then..." Luhan grabbed Minseok's hand, and slowly walked backwards, towards the door. Not knowing what to do, Minseok followed confused, his skin burning where Luhan touched him.

Luhan slowly opened the door behind him without taking his eyes off Minseok. Then, as the door opened, he drew him closer, until they were nothing more than ten centimeters apart.

"Until then, Minseok," he muttered under his breath, and Minseok could feel the other boy's breath brush against his lips. But he didn't draw away. He was strangely hypnotized by Luhan. In the back of his head, he could hear a tiny voice shouting "closer!".

And like Luhan heard the little voice in Minseok's head, he came closer until there was nothing between them anymore, not even air. But only for a second. Because in that moment, as Minseok still was in a confused daze from when Luhan's lips met his, the other boy slipped out of the door, closing it on its owner, who was still in a shock.

And that, was how Kim Minseok got his own door shut on him twice in less than fifteen minutes.

---

The next month went past in a weird, sappy sort of way. It was that time of the year where everything seemed to be cold and grey. It rained almost every day, and one time it had even snowed. But what made it seem even more cold and grey, was the fact that Luhan never appeared after that Sunday. And Minseok never saw him anywhere either. It was like he disappeared from the face of the Earth.

Minseok tried, he really did, but after what had happened in his apartment he was still somewhat messed up and never seemed to really collect himself. Every time he came home, he would see himself and Luhan in his hallway. By his table. By the CCTV. Lay noticed too, but was nice enough to let it be. Minseok was happy for that though, because even if someone asked, he wouldn't know what to answer. Mostly because he asked himself the same question over and over, but never seemed to be able to draw a conclusion. But Lay noticed that Luhan was gone though, and in the end he asked if Minseok knew where he was. Luhan was Lay’s friend as well, after all. But none of them knew.

Minseok hadn't as much as heard the deer-looking boy since their last... encounter with the gang, and didn't know what to think. It really bothered him. Luhan had kissed him. He hadn't even noticed that Luhan was gay, until then. But then again, what about Minseok? He had never really been interested in anyone, neither girls nor boys. Lay had joked that he'd end up as a nun in a monastery somewhere if he kept going down that path, but Minseok had brushed it off. But now, the question once again popped into his head. Why hadn't he fallen in love before? What were the signs that you were falling in love? And most importantly: was Minseok falling in love? Sure, Luhan was someone special, someone Minseok had felt a connection to. It was unlike Lay or his other friends, but then again, was it necessarily love? Every time Luhan touched him, he felt his heartbeat race, and the places that were touched would burn for hours afterwards. Luhan made Minseok feel all confused, happy, weird... There was no explanation. It was just... Luhan. Minseok loved being around him. Minseok loved talking to him. Minseok loved... In the end, during Luhan's absence, he realized it. Minseok, well probably, loved him. But somehow, he couldn't confront himself with it. He'd never even been in love before. So he decided to set the thoughts aside until he met Luhan the next time. Minseok had thought about finding him, himself. But he had no idea where to search, if he wanted to find the other boy. Luhan knew where he worked, even where he lived. Heck, Luhan had gotten a deep look into Minseok's daily life. And Minseok on the other hand, knew almost nothing about Luhan. He felt as he had barely scratched the surface of the mystery that surrounded him. And it drove him insane.

But after spending long hours thinking about Luhan, Minseok realized that even though Luhan was important, his work and school was as well. A lot was required of him. So he pulled himself somewhat together. At least, he tried. Though he wouldn't be able to collect himself for very long, util he was ripped apart, once again.