heartache

twelve

"You're kidding."

"Stella, do I look like I'm kidding?" This time, I looked into his eyes, not at his face. You know what they say: the eyes are a window into the soul. My poor Soda was a very sad soul at the moment. He was dead serious. I ran over to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, saying nothing, just letting him know that I was there. After a while I felt his hands snake around my waist and his head nuzzle into my shoulder. We stayed like that for a while. Then the sun started to set and we were forced to pull away.

"Stella, I missed you so much," Soda whispered as he went to grab my hand. I was going to let him, but at the last second I yanked it away.

"S-soda, I can't do this. I have a boyfriend. I don't know why I'm here. I'm sorry," I cried as I ran away. Not once did I look back because I knew the sight would destroy me. At around 8:30 I burst into my house. My dad was in the shower, so I just sat on my bed with my head in my hands. How could I have been so stupid to talk to Soda again? The poor thing is going through so much, and I have to go and get his hopes up and then smash them with a sledgehammer. I love Colin a lot, but I'm beginning to wonder if we're not meant to be. I mean, I realize that I'm only 16 ½ but fate is fate and destiny is destiny. Soda and I were meant to be together. So that means I have to break it off with Colin. But he's so sweet! I don't know what to do. Sleep on it and decide in the morning, I command myself. Obviously, I obey and go in the shower and then hit the hay. No dreams came, but nightmares did.

The lights flickered off. I called out, but all I heard was an echo. Suddenly, a flash of light came and I got a glimpse of my surroundings. I was in a cave of some sort, and there was black all around me, leaving me on an island, almost. The flash came again, and I saw familiar faces. Mom. Dad. Willy. Soda. Colin. Gemma. Evie. Dally. Johnny. Pony. Darry. Steve. Two-Bit. Carly. Anna. My mother, Willy, Gemma, and Johnny stepped forward. Then they joined hand and began to walk towards me. The hole around me opened wider, and I begged for them to stop walking, but they continued and fell right into the hole. Then Colin, Darry, and Soda joined hands and walked to the hole. I screamed at them to stop, but they kept going. Finally they stopped at the edge, with their toes hanging off. All of a sudden, an odd looking creature came up from behind them. At first, it looked like a demon, but then it morphed into...me? My other form ran up behind the three boys and reached its arms out, preparing to push them off.

I sat up, sweating and breathing heavily. I reminded myself that it was a dream, but it didn't help much. My clock read 5:53 so I got up anyway. I went downstairs and ran into the front yard to check the weather. There were minimal clouds and it was already like 65 degrees so I knew that it was going to be hot today. I ran back inside and began flipping through my closet. At around 6:15, I decided on black frayed denim shorts, a white tank top that had the picture of a skull with an Indian chief headdress with a red flannel over it. My hair had a nice wave to it so I let it hang loose. All I did was fluff it up a little. Then I piled my books into my backpack and went downstairs.

"'Morning," my dad said as he looked up from his newspaper. I smiled fakely. He noticed that something was wrong. He confronted me about it.

"It's just... Darrel Curtis got drafted into the military. He's going to war." My dad put his newspaper down and took of his glasses.

"That's terrible but aren't you not talking to the... them?" My dad was still very angry at the gang. He believes that they were to blame for my gunshot wound.

"No... I-uh. I have to get to school. Bye!" I ran out the door and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Colin's car come to a halt beside me. He got out and came to my side.

"Good morning beautiful. You look amazing today, by the way. Is that my shirt?" Colin said, tugging at my flannel.

"Maybe," I smirked. He laughed and gave me a kiss. We were interrupted by the honk of a horn.