heartache

twenty-two

I stared at him blankly. "What?" I asked calmly.

"I know, I know, it's a lot. But just don't act any different or anything or Soda will know something's up," Two-Bit answered.

"Something's up? Of course something's up! I basically just found out that my little brother is in love with me! What the hell am I supposed to do?" I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned against the door.

"Just act normal."

"Act normal? How do I act normal?"

"Just...be you. I don't know, Stella! You wanted to know, so we told you. But don't let it come around and bite us in the ass. I have to get back downstairs. What do you want me to tell Soda?" Dally answered.

"Nothing. I'm comin'." We all walked back downstairs just as Pony and Soda walked in. Act normal, I told myself. I sat down on the couch but couldn't bear it for longer than a few seconds. It was extremely awkward and I couldn't take it. I felt really bad about acting this way, but it just made me uncomfortable, as Soda had suggested. As usual, he was right.

"Soda, we're gonna head home. Right girls?" I said, turning towards my cousins. Anna gave me the evil eye, as Two-Bit was in the middle of a joke or something. I jerked my head towards the door and they reluctantly got up. Anna, which I was not surprised by, gave Two-Bit a hug before she left. But Carly was usually a little bit shyer than Anna, so I was really surprised when she gave Dally a kiss on the cheek before getting up. I have never seen him so happy before.

"Let me drive you home," Soda insisted. I knew it was no use arguing with him so I walked to the car, after saying goodbye to everyone. I climbed into the front seat of Darry's truck and Carly and Anna sat in the back. We drove back home in an eerie silence. Soda definitely knew something was up but he didn't say anything because of my cousins sitting right behind us. We pulled up to my house and I was about to get out when Soda put his hand on my knee, pleading for me to wait. I waved the girls inside and then leaned back against the seat. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something.

"What's the matter with you? You haven't said anything but 'I want to go home.' Did I do something in some way?" Soda directly asked. I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair.

"It's nothing." He eyes me suspiciously. "Really. It's nothing important." He knew I wasn't going to budge because I was stubborn as a mule so he let it slide.

"See you tomorrow?" he asked quietly.

"I think so. Goodnight," I answered gently, leaning to get out of the car. Then I remembered I forgot to give him his goodnight kiss. I leaned towards him and gently brushed my lips against his. After I pulled away I smiled tightly (and fakely, I may add.) Then I got out of the car and jogged up my steps into the house. I didn't look back once.

***

The next few days came and went. Carly and Anna left three days after I learned of Ponyboy's crush and Dally and Two-Bit were crushed. No one had gotten their kiss that they were hoping for. I refrained from going to the Curtis house as much as possible. Even though I loved Ponyboy, I loved him as a little brother. Not in that way. It was just too awkward for me to be around him when I knew he thought about me as more than his brother's girlfriend and basically sister. Around the fifth day of me avoiding his house, Soda began to notice that something was really wrong. So he confronted me about it. We were sitting on my couch, watching TV. He had his arm slung around my shoulder and I was leaning into his side.

"Stel, why don't you come over anymore? Did something happen that I don't know about? The boys miss you." I bet Ponyboy misses me a lot, I thought to myself. I mentally scolded myself for thinking it, but wasn't it true? Back to the question. What do I tell Soda? Do I lie about it or tell him that I know? Lying was a better option at the moment. (A decision that I would later regret.)