heartache

thirteen

I sank back into the couch. All because of me. Sure, Darry didn't have to go fight, but now Dally was. What was he thinking? He was only 17. He wasn't going to be able to make it through war. Damnit, this is all my fault. Put on a brave face. What's done is done and there is nothing you can do about. Now be happy. Darry's not going to fight. Go hug the man you idiot. I broke out of my own thoughts and grinned. Darry wasn't going to war. I got up and ran over to the brothers. Everyone was in the exact positions, motionless with shock. I broke the tension by hugging my big brother. He hugged me back and I soon felt more than just two arms wrap around me. The three Curtises and I were in a group hug with Darry in the center. For once, I felt tears of joy fall from my eyes. When I pulled away, I saw that everyone else had matching tears of joy. Soda and I were beaming. All I had to do was look at him once before I jumped into his arms. He held me close, closer and tighter than ever before. I nuzzled my head in his neck and inhaled his scent; my favorite smell in the entire world. He stroked my hair and kissed my head ever so gently. Seemed pretty couple-like if you ask me. Who the hell cares anymore anyway?

After our outburst of bliss, it sunk in to everyone why Darry wasn't going to war. Dally was instead. Everyone looked at me sympathetically.

"Guys, thank you but I don't want your pity. After all, he's your best buddy too! Not only mine! I mean okay, we 'went out' for a little, but so what! Soda and I are eventually going to get back together so you can celebrate that instead of mourn over Dally, who isn't even dead. He's a tough guy and he'll be fine. He'll have the time of his life, fighting people. I hate to admit it, but he's prepared to kill. Darry isn't like that. But it is what it is and there's nothing we can do about it. So let's spend as much time with him as we can and pray all the time for his safety. Come on guys, if he wants to do this, we should support him." The three boys stared at me with their jaws on the ground. Then Darry and Pony smirked. Soda and I both cocked on eyebrow at them. (We had learned it from our dear friend Two-Bit Mathews.)

"You guys are getting back together?" Pony asked.

"Well, yeah, probably..."

"YES!" Pony ran over and hugged both of us. I giggled and hugged him back.

"Why are you so excited?"

"Well, if you get together, you'll get married and then Stella will officially be my sister! And, I will get to be an uncle because we all know he won't have any kids," Pony remarked pointing towards Darry.

"I'll have you know that Carina and I are going strong, thank you very much."

"Well, why haven't we met her?" Soda questioned. Darry bowed his head and then shrugged his shoulders. We all laughed and then migrated to the living room. Darry glanced at the clock and his eyes bugged out of his head. It was already 11:30 and Pony and I had school at 7:30 tomorrow. He shooed Pony into his room and then looked at me, deciding what to do with me. I volunteered to take the couch so Darry went to get pillows and blankets from the attic. He came back and I situated them onto the couch. I laid down and snuggled underneath them. Darry said goodnight and then went to bed himself. Soda sat on the floor, right next to my head.

"Are you sure you don't want the bed? I can take the couch."

"No Soda, I'm fine. Can you just stay with me until I fall asleep?" Soda smiled and nodded. I relaxed against the pillow as Soda began to stroke my hair. I reached out and put my hand on the side of his neck, my thumb on his cheek.

"I missed this. You. Us. I missed it so much that I blinded myself to what was right. I'm sorry Sodapop." He stopped stroking my hair and leaned towards me.

"Can I kiss you?" he whispered in my ear.

"Sodapop Patrick Curtis, I have been waiting to hear those four words." He leaned closer and gently pressed his lips to mine. What started as a gentle kiss turned into a very passionate and not rough but... rough kiss. This one kiss made me want another, and another. I was craving Soda. (Wow that sounds weird, lol.) We pulled away for a breath and then dove back in. Okay, I know that I said that I was against pre-marital sex, but at the moment I had forgotten all the reasons why. But of course, you can't go around making love: A.) to a person who's not even technically your boyfriend. B.) In the middle of his living room with his two older brothers down the hall. C.) On a school night. D.) Before you're married. E.) when you're only 17 years old. Soda seemed to read my thoughts because he reluctantly pulled away.