With a final check of my make-up, I dropped the hotel key into my purse. I’d spent the day holed up in my room for two reasons. The first was to mentally prepare myself for my first real date in three years. Even if it was just meeting for a drink in the bar downstairs, it was nerve wracking to me. The second was to avoid running into Myles. After our talk over dinner last night, I didn’t think he particularly wanted to see me. I could only hope he wouldn’t pass by the bar tonight.
I seriously considered turning around and going back to my room the whole elevator ride. Did I really want to do this? I was so conflicted and confused tonight. It would probably be in my best interests to stay sober. The last thing I needed was to get hammered and spew my life story to someone who really did not need to know. After all, it’s a huge mood killer to tell the guy you’re seeing that you were desperately in love with the singer of the band you both work for and are still confused about your feelings for him.
Jimmy had dressed a little nicer than his usual ratty t-shirt and ripped jeans, finding a pair that didn’t have holes in the knees and a button down shirt. Granted, it was unbuttoned a little and the sleeves were rolled up, but he looked good nonetheless. He really was a cute guy.
“Hey.” He said, straightening up when he saw me. He’d even combed his hair out of his face. “You look great.”
“Thanks.” I managed a smile despite my nerves. It wouldn’t kill me to spend some time with a nice guy who was actually interested in me. I took the seat across from him, and despite my decision to stay sober, ordered myself a Jack and coke. Hotel bars didn’t usually put too much alcohol in their drinks, I should be fine. Or maybe I just wanted to numb the things rolling around in my head a little.
He was a few beers deep by the time I’d gotten there, and it dawned on me then just how much energy he had. He was a little like a puppy, excited about everything. He did most of the talking and I let him. It required the least amount of effort from me; all I had to do was sip my drink and look interested. He was a good kisser, not a great conversationalist, especially when he was buzzed. He was just running at the mouth and I was so not into it. I drained one glass and ordered another, which was my first mistake of the evening.
The second came in the elevator when he was walking me back to my room. He’d started kissing me as soon as the doors closed behind us and he kept going as we went up. I was tipsy and he was drunk, so needless to say the kisses were a little sloppy. The elevator doors opened on the fourth floor and I found myself pressed against the wall in the hallway. I didn’t particularly enjoy being pinned up against walls at every turn, but I couldn’t quite complain about it because he had his tongue in my mouth. When he finally let me up for air, kissing down my neck, I got a glimpse over his shoulder of someone who’d just gotten out of the elevator beside us. It was a face I knew as well as my own and just that brief look at him was enough to make me push Jimmy off me. Myles slammed his door behind him hard enough to rattle the pictures on the wall.
“I think it’s time I said good night.” I managed to say, my desire to run suddenly increasing.
“Okay.” He kissed me one last time, harder than before, as if to convince me to stay. “Good night Mina.”
“Night Jimmy.” I scurried down the hall as fast as I could, closing and locking the door behind me. God, why did Myles have to come out the elevator right then? Why did I bring Jimmy up here? I let my head hit the door with a dull thunk. This whole night was just going down the shitter. I could smell Jimmy’s cologne on me, could feel the traces of his lips on his skin. I needed it off, now.
I stripped out of my clothes and jumped into the shower, scrubbing my body under the scalding water until I felt like I’d washed away all traces of Jimmy. It just felt so wrong to have him touch me. Kind of like it felt wrong to have Sam touch me after I came back from Virginia. I let the water rush over my head while I tried to pull myself together. I was just so fucked up. Over the sound of the water, I heard someone knock on the door. I scrambled out of the shower and dried off quickly, wrapping a towel around myself. The knocks grew more insistent the longer I took.
