5sos preferences // viincensia (completed)

#46♡You Have a Miscarriage♡

Ashton-
You had yet to tell your husband about your miscarriage and it had been a few weeks. You were now noticeably skinnier, but you wore baggy clothes to hide it. You were doing your best to completely ignore it even happened and if you told Ashton, that would make it real, so you just kept it a secret from everyone except your older sister. You obviously couldn't hide it forever, but you were in denial and didn't plan on telling him anytime soon. To your horror, you woke up one day and saw that there were loads of tweets and articles about your miscarriage. It turns out that the doctor had released the information and now it was out. You heard the door slam and footsteps fast approaching your room. Ashton flung the door open and his anger was immediately obvious. He came over to you and you stood stone still as he placed his hand on your stomach over your empty womb. You bit your lip and turned away from him, trying not to cry, but failing miserably. "You've been lying to me?" He asked it as a question, but it was clearly rhetorical. "I can't believe you. You lost our baby and couldn't tell me." You snapped your head up at the accusation, but he was already gone, his back was the only thing you saw. The slam of the door reverberated in your skull, sounding louder than anything you had ever heard. You fell to the floor in tears, only now realizing why you didn't want to tell him. You were scared he would leave you and he did. Your breaths came out in gasps and a phantom pain was shooting through your abdomen. You knew you had been there for a while, because you were feeling light headed from the lack of oxygen. You jumped when you felt arms around you, lifting you onto someone's lap. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. "I thought you left me." You choked out. "I know, I was wrong. I promise, I'm not going anywhere, ever." He held on tighter, proving his point. "I love you so much and nothing will ever change that."

Michael-
Since you found out you had a miscarriage a month ago, you hadn't said a word to anyone, you hadn't cried, and you wouldn't even look at Michael. He was so worried about you. He couldn't do anything to help you. He put food in the hallway and you ate it once he was gone, but only a small enough amount to ensure that he would leave you alone. You were staying in your baby's nursery and wouldn't come out. Michael had tried everything and now he had no choice, but to leave you alone for an hour while he went to the studio. You were finally alone. You had no idea the small comfort you felt just by Michael's efforts and presence until it was gone. You started to tear up, then all at once you fell apart. All of the built up emotions from the last month came pouring out like a volcano. You sobbed for a while, then it turned to anger and hatred. You had no control as you tore up everything in the room. You slammed the crib against the wall until it was in pieces and there were holes in the wall. The memory of you and Michael putting it together, laughing and daydreaming about your little boy that would never even take a breath haunted you. You ripped the letters off the wall that spelled out the name you picked for him. Clothes were thrown all around the room and by the time Michael made it home, you were trying to break the changing table that you had painted. "It won't break!" You screamed, trying to hurt an inanimate object in any way you could. "Baby, stop it." He whispered in your ear, his arms wrapped around you and pulling you away from anything. He wasn't expecting your knees to give out, so when they did, you both fell to the floor, but he never let go over you. You sobbed hysterically and for Michael it was a sign that you were going to be okay. He whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you laid against him and cried. Hours passed before you could regain your composure. "I love you, Mikey." You sniffled.

Calum-
You woke up in a white room and were instantly hit with a wave of fear and pain. You tried to get your mouth moist enough to be able to speak, but only one word came out. "Baby." You groaned. You saw a flash of movement and your boyfriend, Calum, was by your side. "You're awake." He whispered, bringing you some water, but you instantly knew something was wrong. His voice was strained, not happy. His eyes were swollen and there was no light left in them. You bit your lip and shook your head back and forth. "Our baby." You whined. "You just need to rest, okay?" He told you, trying to get you to lay back down. You did. You collapsed against the bed, tears falling rapidly and inhuman noises tumbling from your mouth. You knew what had happened. You survived the car crash, but your baby didn't. You were sure that you weren't too tired to drive home from dinner with your friends and you had only closed your eyes for a second. "I murdered our baby!" You wailed. "No, no, no. That's not true. It was an accident. You didn't kill her." He gently scooted you over, so he could climb into the large bed with you. "Her?" Your voice cracked. You had yet to find out the sex of your baby. "Yeah, her." He replied. You laid your head against his chest and he held you tightly as your body shook softly with sobs. "It hurts so bad." You complained. "I know, I wish I could make it go away." He replied, knowing you were feeling the same pain he was, a pain that no medicines could fix. It broke his heart knowing that there was nothing he could do to fix this, he couldn't make either of your pain go away and he couldn't bring your little girl back.

Luke-
You were only 29 weeks pregnant with your twin girls and being rushed to the hospital for a C-section. Luke was limply holding your hand, but you were clinging for dear life. You could tell his mind was a million miles away, but as soon as he heard your voice say you needed him, his attention was on you and not going anywhere. His grip tightened and you tried not to cry, but you were scared. You were still holding Luke's hand when you heard your little girl cry for the first time. Your fear evaporated and you and Luke were smiling at each other in awe. You waited to hear your youngest, but it didn't come. You looked at Luke, but noticed his eyes glued to something you couldn't see. "Luke?" You asked, cautiously. He looked down at you and you saw the tears. You started screaming and crying and thrashing. Doctors ripped Luke away from you and put you under anaesthesia. You woke up to see Luke by your bed with a small pink bundle. "Get her out of here." You growled. Luke looked up at you with a smile, not really processing your words. "I said get her out!" You screamed. Luke looked hurt and confused, but he didn't want to upset you, so he obliged. He came back in to find you crying. "I didn't mean it. I don't know what I'm saying or doing or thinking. It just hurts. I want both of our little girls." You whined. "I know, me too, but we have one and we have to take care of her. You are going to be an amazing mom to the little girl we have and our little angel will be watching over us." He was always so good with words and you smiled, almost feeling the warmth of your little angel. "Can I see her?" You asked. Luke nodded and left, coming back with your little girl. You smiled brightly and took her in your arms. You felt an ache, knowing the picture wasn't complete, but you were glad to have your little girl in your arms safe and sound.

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Since I was busy this week cus of exams, lovelylittleaces kindly made this preference for me :) So thank you so much for that x 
And my exams are now done so you might get a bonus update tonight!

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Xo,
Dita