1."I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
2. Boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!
Father: Really, what?
Boy: That the potato should go in the front.
3. Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife, "He's been crying the whole way home. Isn't he sick or something?"
"No," replies the wife, "he was just trying to tell you he isn't our Frankie!!
4. Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site."
5. Wait for me honey, I'm just finishing my make-up.
You don't need make-up, Jane.
Oh, Richard.... really? That is so sweet of you!
You need plastic surgery.
6. Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?
7. A nice old lady on a bus offers the driver some peanuts. He's happy to take some. He asks her after a while why she isn't having any herself.
"Oh, young man," she says, "they're too hard on my poor teeth, I couldn't."
"Why did you buy them at all then?" wonders the driver.
"You see, I just love the chocolate they're covered in!"
8. A snowman sniffs, "Hm, funny, I smell carrots..."
9. Jesus can walk on water, correct?
(Yes)
Well, I can walk on cucumbers. As you may know, cucumbers are 98% water. So - I am 98% Jesus.
10.An almost hysterical man calls 911 and yells, "Please come quickly! Kailey is pregnant and her labor started now, it's really intense!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the operator.
"No you dumbass! It's her husband!"
THANK YOU FOR READING THIS PART AND I WILL TRY TO UPDATE THIS BOOK FREQUENTLY.
THOSE WHO WANT JOKES ON SPECIFIC TOPICS PLS INBOX ME SO I CAN TRY TO PUBLISH THEM AND PLS VOTE!!!!!!!!!!-----DT.......
YOU ARE READING
My Joke n Riddle Book
HumorHiiii,this basically an ongoing series about different kinds of jokes and riddles with their answer .I will keep on updating it whenever I get time and thanks to my friends Tashab2k ,Amanda Mia, Belinda n others
