This is about you | ✓

Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

The talk.

During the last year of my college I took up a part time job of tutoring the kids of my dance teacher. It was my first job and I had a lot of fun teaching them and I was a more of a friend to them once their homework was done.

After work I would meet Akshay at coffee cup where we would talk for an hour or so and leave towards home. Before I knew it, it became a routine of mine. Every day we would meet and just talk about all the stuff going on in our lives, about college, friends, tv shows, but never about us.

"You know Shalini, I started watching this tv show 'The Flash', it's amazing. You should see it too." he said with an excitement in his eyes and i started watching it too.

One day when we met at coffee cup,his friends were also there, Rahul and Sakshi. They were dating and looked great together. I am kind of a shy person around strangers, but managed it just fine I think.

"Here potti, I got you chocolate. For you too Sakshi." Akki said and handed over the chocolate to me and Sakshi.

"So how long have you guys known each other?" Sakshi asked.

"For over six years." I replied smiling.

"And you have been friends since?" Rahul asked raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah! What about you guys?" I asked them to get them off my back.

"Rahul and I were friends since high school and started dating after that. You know it was one of those things where you just fall in love with your best friend." Sakshi replied with a smile.

"Yeah I know." I nodded knonwingly.

"And same is gonna happen to you guys I guess." Rahul said in a low voice.

I just smiled and Akki acted as if he didn't hear it. I guess he didn't wanna accept few things and thought it was best to ignore it. But for how long?

The movie Deadpool released on valentine's day and Akshay and I loved the trailer so much that we went together to see it. It wasn't a date ofcourse. The movie was awesome and we had loads of fun watching it. After the movie we went to coffee cup to eat.

"You know we have to talk about it sooner or later?" I say munching on a french fry.

"About what?" he said taking a gulp of his soda.

"Us."

"There is really nothing to talk about." He said shrugging.

"Yeah? Maybe I would want there to be?" I say looking him straight in the eye.

"Why so? We are good like this right? Not bound by anything. No commitment." He said scrunching his eyebrows.

"So this is about commitment?" I say raising an eyebrow.

"Shalini, even if we were something, your parents would never allow it and you know that. I don't have that kind of problem at my home. Also you know what happened with Dhikshitha right?"

I just nod and eat. I felt a bit disappointed.

"I like you Shalini. We are good together but it's not something that's gonna happen you know. We are good as friends."

"So this is known as friendzoning huh?" I said to make light of the situation.

"Am sorry Shalini. I told you already, please don't expect anything from me. I can't right now." He said looking out the window.

And I accepted it.

Now I sometimes wonder, if I really did love him or was it peer pressure? Did I delude myself into thinking that I was in love with him? Because I knew my feelings wouldn't be returned and I wouldn't have to give commitment? Or did I wanna be with someone familiar and not work to build trust and faith with another person?

I did think whether I would always forgive him because he was the one close friend I had since childhood and found that, being in contact with him was like being connected to the last thread of my childhood and I liked that. Because I did follow him around like a puppy which was so out of my character and somehow summed it up to be love.

So many questions came to my mind which I had no answers to.