A Story of a Transgender

Chapter Two: It Isn't A Secret Anymore

Chapter 2

The next day goes by and I still haven't gave Annabelle an answer yet. I just wish I could of gave her my answer sooner. Now, she's going to think that I don't like her that way. What am I going to do? I can't just not give her an answer. Great, another thought to run through my mind at night and keep me awake. I can't believe I didn't see this sooner. She actually likes me and I can't process that. Who would like me? I didn't see her in History today so I'm kind of worried she didn't come because of me.

My mom comes through my bedroom door.

"Are you on your computer again?" She snaps at me.

"It's a laptop, mom. I'm always on it."

"Well, stop. Come downstairs for dinner."

"Haven't we had this conversation? I. Don't. Want. To. Eat. With. You. People."

"Do not speak to me that way, young lady!"

"I can speak to you how ever the fuck I want and do not call me that. Ever. I'm your son, mother."

"No, you're not! You're my... well used to be beautiful daughter. Now, you're my gay, faggot, pathetic daughter. Always will be my daughter no matter how much either of us likes that we're related to each other."

"Mom! Stop calling me your 'daughter.' Please, stop. You should know by now that I want to be referred to as him his and he. Why can't you just respect that? Is it so hard to except me? I'm a guy, mother. I'm your son. Treat me like your son."

"I don't have to! You were born a girl, and you shall be a girl. For. Your. Whole. Fucking. Pathetic. Life. Goodbye now, Melissa," she said and slammed my door, once again.

Ugh! She fucking called me by my birth name. I hate her so much, why am I so nice to her when I'm not having a fight with her? I don't know why I do this anyways. She'll never respect my decisions. I can't wait to move out of this house with this judge mental family of mine.

It's 10:28PM and I received a three way call from Jack and Jenna. I answer.

"Hey, guys. What's up?" I say to them.

"Well, you don't seem too cheery. What's wrong, Matt?" Jack asked.

"I just had a fight with my mom about myself, again. She kept calling me her 'daughter' and referring to me like I'm a girl. She's so stupid. I hate her so much. Do either of you know why I show her so much respect? Even I don't know."

"You do it because you feel like you have to because she's your mother and you'll use it as a good excuse when you guys have a fight. You'll end up saying, 'I'm always so nice to you, I show you a lot of respect.' Blah blah blah. That's why. You've told me before," Jack says.

He always understands me, who I am and what I like. Plus, all three of us like the same bands. We go to concerts all the time. It's always a lot of fun with them. We've been in so many mosh pits and circle pits. Plus, none of us are claustrophobic. That'd get in the way of actually going to concerts.

"You guys always make me feel better about everything. Thank you. I love you mother fuckers. I'll always feel welcomed with you around." I say to both of them.

"No problem, Matt." They say together.

"When are you going to give Annabelle a reply back on that date she asked you on?" Jenna asked me even though she hates Annabelle.

"I- I don't know. I'm still thinking. I never thought that in a million years, Annabelle Martinez would ever find me attractive enough to actually come up to me and ask me the fuck out. How could that happen? Me in a relationship? Just picture that. Funny thought, even me going out on a date is hilarious."

"Oh, don't say that!" I can feel her middle finger flicking me off through the phone because I know her so well.

"You're flicking me off through the phone, aren't you, Jenna?" I ask curiously.

"Yes, of course I am, you poop head! How could you be such an idiot at this point? She really likes you, man. You're giving her too much of a late reply. Either go to one of her friends and ask for her number, or look for her tomorrow and finally tell her what you're going to say! The suspense is killing me."

"Okay, okay! I will. I'm going to tell her that I've liked her for a long time. Since the first grade I've had the feels for her.

I went downstairs because I was hungry, which was the mistake of going downstairs in the first place. That was a bad idea because, first of all, my family is down there and I try to avoid them as much as I possibly can.

I arrive in the kitchen to get a salad and some crackers when I hear my parents laughing and judging me. Next thing I know, they're having a fight about me.

"You never treat our daughter right! You can't even raise her right. What is wrong with you?!" My dad yelled to my mom.

"Are you joking? She's our daughter, unfortunately. Not just mine, we're both doing something wrong, if you haven't noticed!"

"Okay, fine. She is our daughter, but I don't know what to do with her anymore. It isn't right for her to like the same gender let alone, her wanting to be a guy!"

"I'm done with you. I'm done with her. I'm just done. The only member of this family I officially like being around is Marcus. I'm going to bed. I hope you like sleeping on the couch. I'll throw your blanket and some pillows down." My mom said angrily.

After that, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I made my salad, got my crackers, water and headed straight to my room on my computer in my natural state.

I went on Tumblr and started writing this week's part of my fan fiction about the ship Cashby. Combining Austin Carlile and Alan Ashby's last names. They're from the band Of Mice & Men. I love that band so much. I have a lot of shirts from them, too. There's never really been a ship name for their first name's, but you get the gist. There's other ships for other band members, too. There's Jalex, Kellic, Fuenciado, and a lot more. Even Destiel. Dean and Castiel from the hit show on CW, Supernatural.

My mom came in my room the next morning telling me a bunch of emotional shit saying, "You know your father didn't mean everything he said, right, Melissa?" She said sincerely.

The only thing I replied with was, "No, actually. I didn't know that he 'didn't mean it,' because of how he said it. He seemed so serious, and I know the only reason you're here 'trying to make me feel better' or whatever is because you feel bad and think as a mother you should be there for your children, when the truth is you're never there for me. You don't even support my sexuality or if I'm a transgender or not. So, mother. I'm sorry to say this, I respect you and all, but just fuck off. I hate you and all your words. I'm not respecting you if you don't respect me. And stop calling me my real name. I go by Matthew. Leave my room. Now."

She was left there speechless and only gave me a sad sigh. I didn't even feel bad. At this point, I really didn't give a shit.

The next day at school, I meet up with Jenna and Jack, we all walk to History and I finally see Annabelle. God, she looks so beautiful. I can't wait to tell her how I feel about her. This is going to be the best moment ever. I walked up to her and started my sentence.

"Annabelle, I wanted to finally tell you my answer about that date you asked me on. I wanted to say-"

She cut me off and said, "Matthew! Before you go any further with what you were going to say, I have to tell you something."

"What? Is it bad?" I asked curiously and concerned.

"Well, it might be for you if you were going to say yes to that date."

I just look at the floor and wait for her to talk. My eyes feel dead. I feel like I can't breathe and my heart just got ripped out of my fucking chest.