A Break Apart

CHAPTER 34. Anxiety and Emotions

I entered Mum's room the next morning. She was in bed, reading her Bible. On noticing my presence, she took off her glasses, closed the Bible and dropped it on her bedside table, with the glasses on top of it.

"I'll just come back later," I said, about heading out.

"No, come. I'm done." She put her feet down, and I walked up to her.

"Good morning, Mummy." I lowered to her level to hug her.

"Morning, sweety," she replied. We then pulled away, and I sat beside her.

"Going somewhere?" she asked, taking note of my appearance.

"Uh, I wanted to get groceries? The pantry is almost empty, and it's Saturday." I cringed, scratching the back of my head.

"Oh, yes. We'll go together," she said and made to get up.

"Wait!" I gently pulled her back to sit. "You didn't go with me the last time, so why now?" I asked, confused. "And hello! In case you've forgotten, I can actually drive."

"You're not going anywhere alone, Nadine. I'm not taking that risk."

I sighed and got up. "Mummy, not again... For how long will this continue? There's nothing to be worried about, and I'm trying really hard to forget it ever happened. How am I to achieve that when you keep reminding me of it?"

"I know it's tough for you, honey. But I just want to protect you," she protested.

"I know, and I appreciate that, but..." I paused. "It's not helping. I just want to feel normal, be myself and do what I want. You should stop worrying. I hate seeing you like this."

"I can't help it, you're all we've got."

I felt saddened by her words. "And I'll be with you guys forever, okay?" I sat back down and put an arm around her shoulders.

She placed her palm on my cheek. "I don't ever want to lose you," she said, and I sighed, wishing I could lift the worry she bore in her heart.

I then held her hand that was on my face with my free hand. "I'm right here," I said and hugged her again, and we stayed in each others' arms for a moment. "You shouldn't have told them about it, though."

"I had to, they're not just your friends, they're also family. And I couldn't leave you alone in the house, not after I just found out," she argued.

"But I don't want you guys to worry too much about me."

"Why wouldn't we worry? We care too much about you, and I think your dad should know as well."

My eyes widened at the mention of my dad, and I quickly pulled away and held her hands. "Not, Daddy, please."

"I'm not promising I won't, but Nadine, he has to know."

"But he's working and doesn't need such information. And it's not as if I'm laying half dead in a hospital bed right now," I stated the obvious with a stubborn face.

"Talk like that again and I'll change my mind." Her eyes shot me a serious warning as she pointed her index finger in my face.

I laughed and hugged her for the umpteenth time. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She let out a small laugh, and I let go with a grin. "So can I go? Please?"

She stared at me while I waited anxiously for a yes. "Yes, but—"

"Yes!" I raised my arms in the air.

"Please be careful, alright?" she finished her sentence.

"Mummy, the criminal is in jail as we speak, and even if he breaks out of prison and shows up, I won't hesitate to knock him down with your car. I'm a fan of Fast and Furious"—She laughed, to my surprise—"See you in a bit." I pecked her on the cheek and hurried to her vanity to get the car keys.