A Break Apart

CHAPTER 35. Sulking

I kept stirring the white rice and chicken sauce in my plate as though I wanted to win an endless boring game. Loss of appetite wasn't a familiar symptom for me even with an illness, but here I was, losing my love for food over the thought of William. He attended Mass today on a different pew, although he came around only to say hi to his godparent. I thought I needed space, but little did I know the difficulty in my request.

"How's your school project coming along?"

"Nadine..."

I heard Abel call my name, and then I recalled a familiar voice asking about my school project. I raised my head, and all eyes were on me at the dinning table.

"Uh, it's going well," I said to Aunt Roseline with a small smile.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yes. I'm Just a bit tired." I figured I didn't need any company at that moment, so I pushed my chair back and got up with the full plate I held in my hand. "I'll be in my room, Aunt. Thanks for coming." I managed to smile. Mum sighed, while Abel and Sandra stared at me with those eyes of concern from the night of the incident.

I dropped my food on the kitchen counter and made an exit, silencing the quiet mumbling from the table with my presence. I walked past them to my room, feeling their stares on me the whole time until I was out of sight.

××××

I laid quiet in my bed, occupied with my thoughts. My door creaked and Abel walked in, with Sandra behind him. He sat on one side of my bed, and Sandra sat on the other side. I slowly sat up, drawing my knees to my face and wrapping them with my arms. Abel leaned forward, hands locked in, and eyes staring right into mine, as if he was trying to read the problem that was clearly written in them.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'm just tired," I said.

"You don't look like someone who's just tired. It's written all over your face that there's something seriously bothering you," Sandra said.

"C'mon, you can tell us. We're more like family than just friends," Abel added. They weren't trying to assume what the problem was, instead, they wanted me to speak for myself.

I sighed. "It's about William. He... didn't speak to me in church today, although I asked for it, but, I didn't think it'd affect me this much. I want our friendship back, but at the same time, I can't bring myself to it. I just, I don't know. It's difficult..." I hated that I sounded like a teenager in need of attention, but on the bright side, I felt a lighter weight in my chest.

We all stayed quiet for a moment.

"You should forgive him and move on from there," Abel said.

"Like it's that easy," Sandra interjected.

"Yeah, it's not, but you don't expect her to be like this forever," he said to Sandra, then turned to me. "Trust me, Nadine, holding back would only prolong your healing process. I understand how desperate he was, and he had to do what he thought wasn't any big of an issue. He messed up, but he did the right thing in the end. I think you should give him a chance, that won't only help him, but you as well."

"With the way you're sounding, I just hope you don't have a skeleton in your closet that Stephanie doesn't know about," Sandra said.

He glared at her. "What sort of talk is that? I'm only giving my advice, and you shouldn't encourage her not to forgive."

"I'm not saying she shouldn't forgive him, but at least, try putting yourself in her shoes!"

"I get how she's feeling, alright? But all we should be focused on right now is how she can get over it."