They Say Quitters Never Win

If there were any more left of me

Patrick POV

Pain and unbearable fear started again, and I keep begging them to give me some morphling but they won't, they keep saying it for my own good and I will get better without it.
They don't understand what it's like and never will, it's not like they went through a situation where they give up themselves and their humanity just to live, and then you realized it's not really worth it.
All the past celebration for what? That I killed, or betrayed my way to win?
How they can still look at me and smile after all what I have done?
Maybe all of this is an act and they actually planning to kill me and this is why they cut the morphline as they want me suffer and pay for what I've done before they kill me! it make sense .
I understand why they want that, I do deserve it after everything I did, but still I didn't want any of this too, I wanted to live just like anyone want that so I did what I have to do, am not going to let them kill me or torture me anymore.

So when Pete asked me to join him for dinner in my family restaurant, I informed him that am tired and want to sleep and as soon he left I start to look for the morphling in my own.
I couldn't find the bag where he use to keep the doses in, so I wear my coat and sneak out of the house to buy some as Pete hired two Peacekeepers to guard the house.

I remember at school some students used to buy it in the black market so I went there, I never been in this side of town but how hard can it be, there was a lot people in the street just silently standing or leaning on the walls.
I stood looking at them not sure to whom should I talk but someone came closer while grinning and hinted to follow him so I did until we entered an alley.
He started while chuckling "can't you be any more obvious?"
I ruffled my hair trying to think what to tell him but he continued "you want some morphiling don't you?"
"How did you know?"
"Well the fact that you have all the signs for addict, red eyes, sickle body, barely able to say something, how long have you been taking it?"
I didn't say anything just staring silently at him which been something I've been doing more lately
"Wow you are so out of it, well you have cash?"
I nod and start taking it out, I didn't even bother to ask him how much, I just give him all I have.
He gave me a syringe and 2 bottles of morphling, which is great this is better that I expected.
"Nice having Business with you, when you need more you know where to find me".
As soon he left I filled the syringe and injected myself where I was standing, I couldn't wait until am home and gosh I missed this feeling so much even though it's been only a day without it.

I don't know how long I was dozed off but clearly it was the next day as morning comes from the window, I was so thirsty so I had to get up of bed, wait why am I at home?
I tried to move but my right hand was tied to the bed headboard, now what? I started to calling for anyone and finally a man came which was Pete?!.
So I sit and wait for him to start to explain
Pete: "Joe saw you sneak out so he followed you and brought you back, what were you thinking? And the black market! Do you know how dangers that place is? And from all the places you chose to be there to get high"
I just rubbed my head, he is too loud for morning.
"You do realize you are a victor and someone could kidnap you for a ransom or the fact that everyone saw you with me in the dinner so some rebels may kill you to send a message to the capital"
Patrick: "why am I tied?"
Pete: "we discussed that and for now on it will be for the best to keep you tied until your addiction gets better"
Patrick: "NO, NO Pete please don't do this"
Pete: "Patrick please, for me alright, I want you to get better this is why am doing this, do you think it's easy to see you like this".
I tried to get out from the chains by dragging them and Pete was screaming at me to stop but I didn't so he left the room and locked it.
After a long time I gave up on the chains and went near the window that have iron bars already on it, and start to scream for Joe, I think he will be the only one who will help me.
The others want me to suffer and kill me for what I did, but not him, he understands, he even trained me how to use my weapons.
But he didn't answer too even though his house right in front of me, is it possible that now he hates me just like everyone now?

It's been days now and no matter how much I scream or kick the peacekeepers and throw the food they won't listen to me.
Pete came to the room with some food and asked me to eat but I didn't touch the food so he sits there waiting for me to eat
Patrick: "Why you want to kill me? I won't hurt anyone like the others in the hunger games , back then I had to but not anymore I swear, please don't kill me"
Pete: "what makes you think that? No wants to kill you Patrick the truth is everyone wants you to get better, specially me, so later we can go back to the capital and visit lot of other places, there is so much we can do, so come on you have to eat you are getting sick"
Patrick: "NO"
Pete: "why?"
Patrick: "because it's poisoned, you want to poison me just like I did to Tyler and Josh I know that"
Pete: "for the love of God! No one wants to harm you in anyway so stop!"
I throw the plates at the ground and it broke, and I sit back looking at him, making sure he won't be out of my sight to stab my back
He sighed and came closer to sit in the bed, he patted my knees and making lying promises as usual, oh god he wants to kill me! he is so close!
I reached for one of the broken plate pieces fast and stabbed him with it, unfortunately he backed off fast so it wasn't deep enough, I tried to run to him but the chain length didn't allow me so I threw the piece at him and start to collect the remain glass to throw it too.
The peacekeepers came and pinned me to handcuff my hands, damn it no I won't be able to protect myself now "STOP! GET OFF ME NOW!"
I looked at Pete he was holding his bleeding nick and next to him one of the peacekeeper trying to help him.
I kept thrashing when the hold my arms to get me out of the house, but they wouldn't budge later they pushed me in the car "you will kill me now aren't you huh?!" and kicked there chairs "what? you got sick of your victor already! You made me do this I didn't want to kill anyone either but you made me do it and now you are afraid of me and want to kill me!"
They didn't replied and just kept driving, I kept trying to breath, and just now I felt pain in my hands, it must be from the glass when I grabbed it tightly

They took me to the hospital and start to treat my wounds but the wont untie me, I have to run from here fast before they kill me but they tied me in bed and put me in a room without a window and locked the door.
Every time someone comes I try to defend myself but this god damn belts won't let me, the doctors and nurses keep convincing me they are trying to help but I know it's not the truth.

Later a nurse came to my bed and starts to push it to another room, there were a lot of machines and the doctor there start to attach wires to my head, and no matter how much I move and try to prevent it won't work.
I heard the doctor ordering the nurse to push the button in the machine am attached to, and that's it they won, am dead now...