Old School

19 - Sometimes It's Hard To Be a Woman

"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman, giving all your love to just one man." Tammy Wynette - Stand By Your Man (1968)

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It's felt very good to be loved, the amazing feeling when you know all of the people around you loves you. We could gave them our love back, as a friend, as a family or as a couple. But the problem is for a couple, it is very hard to choose which man to love, which one that could bring back no sad memories, bring back those love stories to life.

One day I found a very nice guy, but the problem is the other boy I got by my side, which is my best friend also in love with me and I guess I felt the same. I guess I just can't handle the way he told me he loves me. He literally meant it by the look on his eyes, by the way he told me he was nervous at first but had to tell me before everything will end up with the worst love story. 

He knows how much I love him, as a friend. But he doesn't realize how much I love him, as I want him so bad to be the love of my life. But how about the other guy? He's perfect, just like the boy that I'm expecting from a long time ago. But could he love me back? I know he does, but what if he suddenly left me for another prettier girl? Would he do that?

I have so much stories since I was born. The one with my brothers, family, Amber and so many things, and it will never end until I die, because I'm sure I will start a new storybook. I believe in hereafter, and there will always be a life after death.

He convince me how much he loves me, and it's true. I know he meant it.

I saw Steve walked into the garage as I stood there smiling at him. Replying with a lovely smile, he sat next to me on a stool. "It's rehearse time but no one's here."

"I guess it's just you and me then." I told him, staring at him in the eye. Oh, what a beautiful eyes.

"Should we wait for them?"

"We should, but how about a little practice between us two? Just sing along to a song."

"Well, okay then. I got a perfect song for you."

"Really? What is it?"

"You'll know it after you listen to it. One of your favorite musician recorded this song not quite a long time ago, so this is a new song, I believe he sang this to the one he adores very much." He took his guitar that was leaning on a stool next him, a light brown wooden guitar.

I blushed, hearing what he said. "So you adores me?"

I could see his cute smirk from the end of his lips, as he began to strum his guitar. "If you ask her how it's done, she won't know. It's like trying to catch the sun on the water. She tries to explain, then it happens again." 

I remember this song, one of my favorite of course. New, actually. Yes, from the album New which is belong to Sir James Paul McCartney. 

"Everybody's looking at her. She's got everybody talking about her. She's good, she's kind, she's so refined." I laughed when he sang that part, because he literally winked at me when he said "good".

"But me, I'm losing my mind." He sang in a deep seriousness, his deep stare explains a lot to me. 

Calm down, Emily! It's just a song, just because he sang that song for you doesn't mean he's in love with you.

"Though she haunts me like the sound of the rain. Or a river running down to the ocean. I hate to complain but it's happening again." I stared at him more of a confused feeling, he's getting weird at a moment like this. He barely look at me in the eye, and his face turned extremely serious. 

I stare at his guitar, he's playing it with his perfect fingers strumming the strings carefully so he wont ruin the song. "Everybody's looking at her. She's got everybody talking about her. She's good, so fine, she's sweet as wine. But me, I'm losing my mind."

"Doesn't she know, why can't she see. Look at the effect that she's having on me. I'm not alone, I'm part of the crowd. Turning our heads, as she walks down the street."

"She tries to explain, then it happens again. Everybody's looking at her. She's got everybody talking about her. She's good, she's kind, she's so refined. But me, I'm losing my mind." He repeated the "I'm losing my mind" again three more times before ending the song as I giggled.

"You know I don't really like new songs, but this one is perfect. Since you sang it for me and this song belongs to Paul McCartney." I told him, making him giggled even more.

"I know that, I just want new things which is not bad. And anyway I know this song is perfect to sing to you." He told me, still got that smirk on his face.

I raised my eyebrows at him, staring at him completely confused. "You to sing this song for me?"

"Yes, Emily!" He shouted as I jumped a bit. "Didn't you notice a thing?"

Now I felt a bit frightened because I could feel pain in my heart. "A thing about what?"

"Fuck! How could you not understand?" Curse words. Damn, I hate curse words.

"Steve, if you say that word again I would leave!" I stood up, barely looking at him because he's acting silly the whole time.

He stood up as well, embracing me. "I love you! I'm fucking in love with you!"

"What?" I just stood there, being like a statue hugged by a man.

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry. My dad told me that I could still chase the girl that I'm in love with even though she had a boyfriend or a husband, because there's a chance of an open door after it's closed for quite a long time. I'm sorry, I know you have Kale and I think I have to tell you this before everything get worst." He told me, as I pressed him against my body. I didn't realize that Steve is in love with me. 

"I'm sorry, Steve."

"You didn't even got a clue when I kissed you because you want to know how do I feel?" He asked me, pulling away from our embrace. His eyes are staring at mine.

"I thought it was just about friends." I replied dumbly. Of course it's a clue, he told me he love the kiss. How stupid I was!

"Emily, it's not. I'm very nervous to tell you at first, but then I have the courage now. I really want you to feel the same, but I guess you don't, so I will wait for forever." It's like I got hit by a bus when he told me that, my heart is like stabbed with a knife a thousand times.

"No, please. How could you not realize it as well? I love you too, so you wont be afraid. I'll always be here for you."

He stared at me, bewildered at first, but then put me in an embrace again.

"What are you guys doing?" I saw Skylar came in as we stared at her in shock. I wiped my tears away as I realized I had them on my eyes. "You got to clean up yourself before Kale came in, quick!" 

We stared at each other and then I cleaned my face on the sink on the garage. "Why would you help me, Sky?"

"I know your love story, I don't want you to end up badly with no one. I'll help you here." She told me, smiling at me with her best smile.

I smiled at her, moved. "Thanks."

Kale and my brother came in with foods on their hands as I grinned at them. "Oh my, I'm starving! Thank you for bringing us food!"