Old School

20 - Goodbye, Oh, Please Don't Cry

"Goodbye, oh, please don't cry. Cause we both know that I'm not what you need." Dolly Parton - I Will Always Love You (1974)

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4:28 AM

I've been wondering what would you do at a time like this alone at your bedroom and you haven't sleep a little bit? Of course I would love to sleep but I couldn't do that. Actually, I'm not alone. Skylar is sleeping on the other bed. I have fears to wake up at a time like this, because I'm all alone. What if my neighbor who's almost 90 years old who just died last year show up from the closet? 

I watch the ceiling as I moved my hand along with my phone spinning on my hand. I couldn't wake Sky up, it's very mean and she's very tired anyway. I have my heart beating so fast like drums on a parade being played by the best drummers there.

My head couldn't stop thinking about Kale and Steve. They're the only guys who's stuck in my head right now. Luca, he's staying here now since Steve let him and told me to not invite any other people here. I still can't! I tried to set my mind to Seth, Luca, Conner, or even Ryder, but I just couldn't. Oh, fuck you brain!

"Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out, it doesn't matter much to me." I started mumbling to Strawberry Fields Forever since I have nothing better to do.

I heard a moan as I saw Sky staring at me with her sleepy eyes. "Why are you singing at a time like this? Shouldn't you be sleeping?" 

"Uh, I couldn't sleep. Do you have anything that could make me sleep easily? Because trust me I wouldn't come to school tomorrow since I couldn't barely open my eyes." I stared back at her as she almost closed her eyes again.

"Lady, I'm not a drug seller, so I don't have any." Her voice is extremely different when she's sleepy. It's weird, seriously.

I stay quiet as I could see her driving to sleep again. Yep, she's extremely tired. I should just let her sleep again. 

I took a deep breathe and decided to get a drink downstairs. Walking down there, I slid my hand on the banister. Actually, I felt sleepy, but I just couldn't sleep. I couldn't even stop my mind. 

Down there, I took a clean cup and pour some tea on it. Drinking it, I heard footsteps coming closer to me as my heart beat faster and faster.

"What are you doing at a time like this?" Steve came up, wearing his black pajamas.

"Oh my god, you gave me a heart attack." I sighed knowing it's just him. "I couldn't sleep."

"Why?"

I sighed, if only you know. "You don't need to know. How about you staying up this early?"

He stared at me confused, but decided to ignore it. "Luca is definitely a good snorer and I couldn't sleep either."

I laughed. "Oh my, I'm sorry I asked him to stay here." 

"No, it's okay." Said Steve, grabbing a glass of water. "Wanna go outside? It's kind of boring here."

I smiled at him, knowing he's a little bit shy to ask me that, since I knows how he feel and he knows how I feel. "Sure." I don't know why, but I just took his hand on mine and pulled him outside of the house. Out there, the beauty of the sky which still looks dark and the stars up above. I sat next to the lake, wondering if there's some fish over there. 

"Have you ever fish here?" I asked him, making him jumped from his thoughts.

"Yes, my dad used to take me to this lake and we fish together. But that moment is over now, since he's quite busy working."

"What if you do that with me?"

He stared at me, grinning. "Sure, I have a boat. Wait here." Said Steve excitedly. He stood up, running back to the house.

I just sat there waiting for him as I could hear the sound of the cricket. This place is lovely, staying at a house like this with the ones I love. Luca is just like my own brother, just like Conner to me. Sky is the best girl I've ever befriended, Kale is the best boyfriend I could ever had. He's heart is purely white. And Steve, I don't know who he is. He's my best friend, my crush, my love, I don't know. So much feelings mixed up for him.

"I got these." I took a look at Steve who's holding two fishing rods. 

"Oh my, fishing in the morning when the sky is still dark is fun." I told him, giggling as I grabbed one fishing rod. "Thanks. So where's the boat?"

"Follow me." He told me, as I walked behind him.

We walked on the side of the lake until I could see a big wooden row. "Wow, I didn't realize you have this."

"Yes, I hope it doesn't have any holes." He pushed it to the lake and it's floating there without any water coming out. "No holes, come on." He took my hand and led me to the row. 

I screamed and laughed because the boat is swaying on the water. "Steve, ah!" 

He laughed, as he entered the row as well. "It's fine, it wouldn't turn upside down unless if you're moving all the time."

"Okay, I'll stop." I took a look at an empty bucket and the two wooden paddle. "What if we can't go back to corner?"

"We have those paddles." He pointed the two paddles. "Come on, let's just have fun!"

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I laughed. "Come on, that's so small. Look at mine!" I showed him my fish, which is bigger than my foot. 

His fish is not bigger than his hand. "Ah, we're going to eat these fish anyway." He place the fish on the bucket which had a lot of fish in there. We've been fishing here for an hour and it's almost 6 AM. "I think we've to go inside and get ready. We have school, remember?"

"Okay. But I wont row myself to the corner."

"We're near to the side of the lake, so it's fine." He told me, keep on rowing as I felt I have lost my balance.

I screamed as I accidentally threw the paddle on the lake. I hugged Steve tightly, as I just felt that I'm blushing. "Oh, I'm sorry." I pulled away.

He laughed and embraced me again. "I like it like that."

"Steve!" I shouted, trying to get away from his tight grip. "I know you like me but don't do that!"

"So what should I do? This?" He asked, suddenly placing his lips onto mine. I kissed him back and suddenly pulled away. 

I stayed quiet, don't want to look at him in the eyes. 

We're finally on the side of the lake as Steve helped me to get out of the row, as I did the same to him.

He sighed. "Looks like I have to buy a new paddle." 

I laughed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." 

"I'm sorry too, about the kiss." He said nervously, looking down at the ground.

"Steve, I have to tell you something."

He raised his eyebrows, looking at me confused.

"I really like you but I have a boyfriend and I couldn't do that. I just don't want to hurt him and I don't want to hurt you too. What if we're just friends?"

He stared at the ground again and held my hands. "We are just friends."

"With benefits. But I don't want that, just friends, no benefits, okay?"

He sighed, staring down at the ground. "Okay, if that what you want." 

I lifted his head up. "Steve, please don't cry." His little tears on his eyes makes me cry as well.

He smiled. "I'm not, but you have to remember that I will be waiting for you no matter what. If the your door is open again, I'll make sure I'll enter that."