Be Mine// JASON MCCANN Fanfic// Book 1//

chapter 27.

Warning: This book contains serious topics and language.  Don't feel pressured to read. 
Thank you all for everything.

Jason's pov

I feel numb.  Completely numb.  I can't even move my body right now.  I'm just laying in bed thinking about everything that just happened.  Nova really lied to me.  She played with my heart and broke it into a million pieces.  I should've know that this would happen.  I never should've let my guard down for her. 

-flashback-

I'm walking through the club blocking out everything that's going on around me.  I don't know whether I'm more pissed off or hurt.  I think I'm more pissed.  I'm pissed that she lied to me.  I'm pissed that I opened up to her.  I'm pissed that she used me.  I'm just pissed overall. 

"what's wrong?" Payton said and I looked to her.

"Move" I said.

"We're supposed to be having a good time right now.  Now, what the hell is going on? Where's your little girlfriend?" She said.

"She's not my fucking girlfriend" I spat out.

"Jason, what's wrong?" She said and I didn't answer.  "Look, I know I'm probably the last person you wanna talk to right now, but let me help you.  It's the least I can do" She said. I just stare at her and she stares back.  I suddenly lean in and I kiss her and she pulls away shocked.

"What are you doing?" She said.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I said kissing her again and she pulled away.

"What about Nova?" she said.

"Fuck Nova.  Don't worry about her." I said.  Payton just looked to me then she nodded and leaned in and kissed me.  I kiss her back and we start making out.  I don't fucking care about anything in this moment.  I'm pissed off at Nova.  She played with my heart.  She faked everything.

I sit up in bed and then I get up and walk to the kitchen.  I grab a water bottle and I chug it down.  All the anger I had last night passed.  I don't feel angry anymore.  I feel hurt.  I feel betrayed.  It's the worst feeling anyone could ever feel.

Somehow Payton and I ended back at the hotel.  We're in her room right now making out in the bed.  I don't know what I'm doing right now and I don't care.  I don't care what happens.  My anger is taking over me right now, I can feel it.  What's the point of caring though? Clearly Nova didn't care about me so why should I care?

I sit up and take my shirt off and she does the same.  She wraps her arms around me and we continue kissing when she pulls away. "Are you sure you wanna do this?" She said.

"Yes." I said and she nodded.  We continue to kiss and undress and she lays down on her back.  I hover over her and then we have sex. 

I lean against the counter taking deep breaths.  I don't know why I did that.  I don't know why I fucking had sex with Payton.  It was all just out of anger.  I wanted to hurt Nova the way she hurt me.  She deserves it.  This doesn't make me have feelings for Payton though.  I won't do it again.  This was just a one time thing to get my mind off of what happened.  Now, though, I'm stuck thinking about Nova.  I can't get her out of my head.