The Atlas Of Love

- three -

We sat in silence, sipping our coffees, enjoying the view of the neighborhood at night.

Yes, Xander Collins and I, both almost finishing college, were still living with our parents.

Xander's reason would be because he couldn't leave his mom all alone and mine would be because I have Asian parents who are very protective of me and that I can't live alone, yet.

"You still haven't told me why you went missing in action for the last three weeks." I turned to Xander, my eyes narrowed.

He clenched his jaw before turning to look at me and I saw how his features softened visibly when he did. "I don't know. I just wanted to stay away from home for a while. I took a road trip." He said, looking down at his feet.

"Xander, your mother and I were worried sick. You left her a message saying 'I'll be back soon. Don't worry about me', how? You're the only person she has Xander, how do you expect her not to worry?" I was beyond furious, but I had control over my voice.

He pressed his lips in a thin line. "I'm sorry. I should've told her, and you too." He said in a barely audible voice.

I knew something was off. The Xander I knew would've argued with me on this. He would've explained why he did this no matter how stupid or useless his reasonings were.

"Xander." I called out.

"Xander, look at me." I inched closer to him.

"What, J?" He looked up at me, his expression undecipherable.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

After much hesitation, he spoke up. "Did you really mean what you said today at lunch?" He questioned, shifting slightly so that he was facing me.

"What do you mean?"

"Did I really mean that less to you? Was what we had really not worth it?" His voice was soft, but the words hit me directly.

"I cannot believe we're having this conversation now. Xander, that was what, 3 years ago?" I tittered.

"Oh." He smiled bitterly.

"Don't get me wrong. What we had was special to me. What I felt for you was genuine. I never regretted a day with you, I just didn't expect this response from you. I thought I had a special place in your heart too, but that's just me being delusional right?" He still had the bitter smile plastered on his face. Every word he said was hurting me in a way.

"Xander." I sighed. "Yes, you had, you still do and you will always have a special place in my heart. I didn't mean it in that way. It was just, you know, what I thought would be the most appropriate answer to your girlfriend's question. And right now, we're not even supposed to be arguing about that." And after saying those words, I felt like a fool.

He was in no position to question me and I didn't even have to justify what I said.

Xander nodded, the atmosphere suddenly turning awkward with the mention of Madison.

Thankfully, his phone rang breaking the silence. "I, uh. I gotta take this call. It's Madison. I'll see you tomorrow then?" He stood up, smiling back at me.

"Yeah, goodnight." I stood up too, watching him climb back into his window as I slid in to my room, closing the window behind me.

I guess I won't have to talk him to sleep now or deal with his 3 a.m thoughts. Madison can do that for him.

And I, can say hello to my newly found freedom again.

I tossed and turned around in my bed, not being able to sleep. I grabbed my phone from the bedside table, squinting at it to see the time.

"1:35 a.m. Screw you Xander Collins. You gave me this bad habit." I groaned, hiding my face in my pillow.

Normally, the two of us would still be talking out on my balcony or watching a movie together. But, newsflash! Mr.Collins has found someone to do that with, leaving me sleep deprived and hungry.

Without a second thought, I dailed Dean's number. He didn't pick up the first time so I figured that the sleepyhead was deep in his dreamland.

I tried his number again and again until I made sure that it was enough to get him worried. Serves him right for sleeping in when I needed him.

He would probably wake up in the morning, alarmed to see that many missed calls from me.

Not satisfied, I decided to call Kara but before I could scroll down to her name, I received a call from the one and only Dean.

"Jane, what's wrong? Did something happen?" His voice was groggy but oh so se-- dear Lord, what has happened to me?

"Nah, I'm just hungry and I couldn't sleep." I replied, suddenly feeling all giddy.

I could picture him face-palming on the other side and let out a chuckle. "Jane. You know I love you but for the love of God can you not scare me like this 1 in the morning? 7 missed calls? Seriously." He let out a deep sigh.

"Geez, sorry. I.. Uh, didn't think you'd freak out like th--" "no, no. I'm not mad at you. I was just worried. You wanna go out to Danny's and get something to eat?" He cut me off, but making me feel better instantly.

"Yes please. I knew you'd understand."

"I'll come pick you up." He informed, and I scurried across my room to get dressed.

Honestly, I don't know where I would be without Dean. He was always there for me whenever I needed him. Heck, he ditched his girlfriend in highschool to come console me after Xander and I broke up.

Even though Xander was his best friend, Dean picked me over him. He said that Xander was stupid for allowing this to happen and that if it were him, he'd hold on to me.

At first, I felt like the 'girl-who-sabotaged-the-friendship-of-two-guys', but then Dean assured me that it was his decision.

He closed himself to Xander, but eventually, when things got normal between Xander and I, Dean couldn't keep himself away either.

It felt like we were all back to being us.

Well, not really.

The whole 'breaking-up-becoming-just-friends' brought Dean and I so much closer. And Xander, well he, grew distant from us.

×××

Hello everyone!
Thank you so much for reading, voting and commenting! It really means a lot to me.
So it has only been 5 days since I published this book, and it has climbed up to #165 in General Fiction already!!!
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Although, I do have a bad news..?
Yeah, so I wasn't even supposed to publish this book before mid-April, but I couldn't wait for it and ended up publishing it. The bad news is that I will be appearing my board exams which starts on the 9th March and ends on 21st, so I won't be updating before that. Please don't remove it from your reading lists or libraries and wait for me!!!

I'll be back before you know it. ;)
      - m.