The Atlas Of Love

- nine -

"Xander's handwriting is one of a kind Jane. Even middle school kids have handwritings better than Xan's." He laughed.

I couldn't help but join him. Xander really did have a crappy handwriting. Heck, even he finds it hard to understand it sometimes.

"Why do you have this with you though? Don't tell me you guys actually wrote this song together." He questioned.

"N-no. Why would the two of us write a song together?" I looked away, hoping he'd understand that I didn't want to talk about this.

"Ah-hah. Caught you. You're blushing." He poked me, smirking.

"Oh shut it Nick. I'm not blushing!" I covered my cheeks.

"Oh yes, yes you are." He teased.

"Aish, stop it now. We need to start practicing." I cleared my throat, keeping the paper down on the bed.

Truth is, Xander and I really did write this together, well not really. I just added some sentences in between and he wrote most of it himself. Way back in tenth grade.

We were sitting out on the balcony talking about how relationships, heartbreak, trust, all things of that sort.

And one thing led on to another and we started writing something. It was not meant to be a song or a poem of anything like that.

But I gotta admit it, the man's good with his words and this would make bomb ass lyrics for a heartbreakingly beautiful song.

The reason I wasn't so sure about letting people hear this song was because I was scared that all my friends, including Xander might think that I'm still not over him or something.

Xander and I could have a one-on-one conversation about this and clear things up in an instant. I knew he wasn't the type to over-think a situation, but I know Kara would have something else in mind and forever ship me with him.

And now that Madison's in the picture, it wouldn't be so wise to go up and say, 'oh hey, my new song, it was actually written by your boyfriend and it's about the two of us. That's all. I just wanted to be honest with you, before Kara brainwashes you into thinking otherwise.'

Or maybe I'm just being too paranoid.

But like I said earlier, I didn't want to get on the bad side of Madison and make Xander upset.

For all I know, the boy had been struggling with his own problems for a while. He deserves happiness now, even if that happiness comes in the form of a person.

"Okay. Let's start." Nick cleared his throat.

"You've listened to it right?" I asked.

"Yes, the first thing I did when I went back home after Kar--. Yeah, I did." He pursed his lips, giving me a look of assurance.

"Okay." I also cleared my throat one last time before Nick strummed his guitar.
______________

(Normal - Nick)
{Italics - Jane} 
[Bold - both of them]

Loving can hurt
Loving can hurt sometimes
But it's the only thing that I know
It was months and months of back and forth,

But you're still over me like I wine-stained dress
I can't wear anymore.

Hung my head as I lost the war
And the sky turned black like a perfect storm

Rain came pouring down
When I was drowning,
That's when I could finally breathe.
By morning,
Gone was any trace of you
I think I am finally clean

I think I am finally clean.

When it gets hard,
You know it can get hard sometimes,
It's the only thing that makes us feel alive.

We keep this love in a photograph
We made these memories for ourselves

Where our eyes are never closing
Our hearts were never broken
And time's forever frozen still

So you can keep me inside the pocket
Of your ripped jeans.
Holding me close until our eyes meet

You won't ever be alone
And if you hurt me that's okay baby
Only words bleed

Inside these pages you just hold me
I won't ever let you go

Wait for me to come home

10 Months sober, I must admit
Just because you're clean
Don't mean that you don't miss it

10 Months older, I won't give in
Now that I'm clean, I'm never gonna risk it

The drought was the very worst,
When the flowers that we'd grown together
Died of thirst

The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud, and no one heard a thing

Rain came pouring down
When I was drowning
That's when I could finally breathe.

And by morning,
Gone was any trace of you
I think I am finally clean
I think I am finally clean

You could fit me
Inside the necklace you got
When you were sixteen
Next to your heartbeat where I should be
Keep it deep within your soul

When I'm away
I will remember how you kissed me
Under the lamp post back on 6th street
Hearing you whisper through the phone

"Wait for me to come home"

...

Okay, I definitely heard a third voice saying the last line along with us.

I turned to the door and my face turned pale in horror.

"X-xander, what brings you here?"

"I remember this J, I still do."

_______________

So hello everybody! 
How have you been?
Now if you're wondering, the song up there is a beautiful mashup of Ed Sheeran's Photograph and Taylor Swift's Clean. I've put up the video of the cover, sung by Louisa Wendorff and Who Is Fancy so make sure to check it out~

I love you all so much. Thank you for being so patient with me.

~ m.