The Atlas Of Love

- twenty four -

My laughter died down after almost 10 minutes, and we were both sprawled against the king sized bed, both equally tired.

"You know, I heard you talking to Dean on the phone." Xander said, looking up at the ceiling, his dimpled-smile slowly fading.

This made my heart race as I propped myself up with an elbow, staring right at him without uttering a word.

"Chill. I'm not mad. I know there was something going on, although I'm not exactly sure what. But you had unfinished business and I think it was wise of you to call him and clear things." He turned to face me.

"I'm sorry Xander. I'm selfish. I didn't want to lose either of you as my friends." I laid back down, closing my eyes.

"I'm sorry I had to make you choose." He said softly.

"I brought this on myself Xander. You don't have to be sorry. I made the decision." I swallowed hard, the guilt finding it's way back to me.

"I don't want you to worry about us while you're there.." Dean's voice echoed in my head.

"You know.." He finally said, pulling me out from my chain of thoughts.

"What?"

"I want to kiss you so badly right now." He chuckled.

I snorted at this sitting up straight.

Then, shifting my body I leaned back down on his chest. His hands held on tightly to my torso.

I rested my chin on his chest, which was now clothed FYI, and ran my fingers through his hair.

It was just as soft as it used to be back then.

Memories of us flashed through my eyes and I closed my eyes to see them better, although I'm not sure how that would help, but somehow it did.

"Xander.. " I whispered.

"Yeah?" He rubbed my back and then with one swift moment, pulled me on top of his body.

"Thanks for coming with me. It would've sucked without you." I giggled, still playing with his hair.

"You don't have to thank me again and again J. I wanted to come here with you, so I'm here." His dimple appeared on his left cheek and I lost myself staring and wondering how charming his smile was.

"You know.." He said.

I raised my eyebrows, gesturing him to continue.

"We can take things slowly. This time I'm pretty sure I won't let go of you so I want to give you time before we take any decision. What happens in Paris can stay in Paris and when we head back home, we can take it slow. I'll hate to say it but you should settle things with Dean first, but for now--" he stared intently at me and I noticed how the glint in his eyes changed in an instant.

I cleared my throat at the mention of Dean and pushed myself up, inching away from Xander. "Let's, let's just go to sleep tonight, I'm tired." I rubbed my nape.

He opened his mouth to say something but instead, shook his head and smiled.

"Uh, won't you be uncomfortable sleeping on the sofa though?" He finally spoke, creasing his eyebrows.

I raised my eyebrows at this, throwing a pillow on his face. "You're the one who's sleeping on the sofa, you should worry about yourself."

He let out a loud chuckle. "Me? On the sofa? Says who?"

"Says me, Collins. Now get off the bed, I really need to sleep." I shoved him off.

He turned back to look at me with an amused smile playing on his lips.

"How about a game to decide which one of us sleeps on the bed and which one gets to, you know, probably stay up all night on the sofa?" He grinned.

On a normal day, I would've said yes immediately and do anything and everything to sleep on the bed but I was seriously exhausted. Mentally, physically and emotionally.

I glared at him, "not very gentlemanly of you Xan. But bring it on." I stretched from the bed, getting ready for whatever we were going to play.

He still had the smirk on as he sat across me on the bed, leaning on the headrest.

"Alright, close your eyes." He ordered.

"What for?" I retorted with a glare.

"Just do as I say, please." He raised his hands in defence and I hesitantly obliged.

I had the urge to peek but my eyelids seemed to heavy to even lift so I sat silently with my eyes closed.

"I'm very sleepy now Xan, whatever that is you're doing, you better hurry." I mumbled.

I heard him chuckle and then he shifted from the bed.

I could feel his warm body inching closer to mine and I froze for a second. "Are you going to blindfold me or something?" I asked.

He didn't respond. "Xander I'm going to open my ey--"

"You talk too much." He shushed me.

He was seriously close to me now.

And then I felt his lips on mine.

All the worrying, the pain, the tiredness, all the guilt faded. It was him and I at the moment.

He pulled away but stayed close, his forehead leaning on mine. I opened my eyes and met his gaze.

"You never listen to me Xander." I sighed but my lips curved up into a smile.

"If I listened to you, we'd both be asleep by now." He winked, caressing my cheeks.

I had to hold myself back from pouncing on him because God, that felt good.

He leaned forward again and this time, I pulled him on top of me, allowing him to do what he wanted to.

"Xander Collins, what do you even do to me?" I said, chuckling my lips still on his.

"You mean this?" He asked in between light pecks on my neck, making me giggle and moan.

"You know, I don't know if I'm feeling this way because I might be drunk and very horny but I fucking love you J." He murmured, chuckling.

"I love you too idiot."

___________

Oops. I didn't mean to let that happen so easily. Lol.