[ON HOLD] One Last Chance - Phan

Prologue 2/2

Trigger warning - Suicide

Dan's POV

10th June 2003

"Dan, come play with me please!" Hannah begs.

"Oh, come on Hannah, I'm 18. I'd rather not." I say, rolling my eyes but I can't manage to wipe the slight smile off my face.

"Yeah I know, but you are my older brother, so it's your job to look after me." She contradicts. She may be 10, but she acts like an 6-year-old. "And besides, it's your birthday, so I want to celebrate with you!"

"I thought you were playing with mum?" I try to procrastinate playing with Hannah as much as I can.

"I was, but now I wanna play with you. Plus, this cliffside is such an amazing place to play hide and seek! There are bushes and trees and-"

"Ok, ok, fine. I'll play with you." I sigh, rolling my eyes again. I slowly stand up and step out of the shadows of the tree I was sat under and into the sunshine. Her face lights up and for a moment I forget why I wanted to come here for my birthday in the first place.

"Yay! Thanks Dan!" She tackles me into a hug, which I return, bending my knees so I'm a more appropriate hight. I don't seem to get flashbacks when people say my name anymore. That used to be really bad when I started school.

I look down at her and see my black outfit. Black long sleeved top, black jeans, black leather jacket and black converses. Exactly the same sort of stuff I wore in my previous life.

It's strange how that happens. Usually, while you keep your first name, your looks are completely different. But I died on my birthday, meaning I look exactly the same and have the same style and personality.

I'm basically the same person.

"I'll count, you go hide!" Hannah shoos me away with her hands before covering her eyes, needing to quickly flick her curly brown hair out of the way, and starts counting. Quickly, I snap out of my daze and dart off towards the cliff edge and crouch behind a bush.

I get out my phone and open the notes app. I've had the letter typed on there for years.

I copy and paste it into a new message and type in the people I want to send it to.

Mum

Dad

Hannah

That's it. No one in school cares about me anymore, so I don't need to worry about sending it to friends.

I hit send, stuff my phone into my pocket and grab onto the bottom railing with my hand, which sends a pang of guilt rushing through me.

Just do it. The voice in my head won't shut up. Faggot. Unholy. A mistake. Broken.

All the names I've been called by my so-called 'friends' and everyone else who caught on trying to impress my former friends at school come back to me.

The names that slowly shattered me.

Go kill yourself.

And with those thoughts ringing in my head, I stand up and quickly climb over the railings, landing my feet on the tiny bit of land on the other side and twisting my arms round so I'm keeping a good grip on the railing. I lean forward, so my body is diagonal, being held out by my arms.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see my mum and dad looking at their phones. They must have seen it.

Good. The voice chants.

That's when my mum looks up.

The look on her face is beyond description with words.

Of course it is. Her son's about to take his own life.

"Daniel, stop!" She shouts. This attracts the attention of my dad, sister and everyone else here.

"Oh my god, Dan!" I hear Hannah faintly in the background. She doesn't even understand this stuff. All she knows is that I'm hanging off the edge of a cliff - high enough to kill me if I fall - by just my hands that are clasped onto the railings loosely.

I can feel the tears gathering and squeeze my eyes shut so they don't get out.

"Daniel, don't!"

"Stop!"

Their shouts become jumbled up in my confused mind and I can't tell who's shouting what anymore.

I let my hands slip ever so slightly.

I can't let go.

It's when I feel Hannah's hand brush against my right hand that I snap back into my senses and open my eyes.

I can't feel the metal railings wrapped in my hands.

I can't feel the ground beneath my feet.

All I feel is the air hitting me as I fall.

I close my eyes and wait for the impact.