Imagination|SM

Week

The rest of the week was completely different. I didn't feel as gloomy as usual. I felt more alive, I felt more free. At first I thought it would be weird and I would hate it because the last time I was on a date was when I was 16 and my boyfriend and the time ended up dumping me when we got to his place after dinner. He was a real jerk, but surprisingly it didn't feel that way. Honestly I was surprised with myself actually agreeing to go out with Shawn. I'm glad I did. This definitely wasn't the worst week I've ever had. It was probably one of the best. Tuesday mornings's DMs with Shawn went something like this (no we don't have each others number yet, it's still just DMs):
E: Hey thanks for last night, I really enjoyed it.
S: ya it was amazing. It feels like we went too far ahead.
(Ok so not the best grammar I can tell Shawn just woke up, but I can figure out what he's trying to say)
E: lol ya. It feels like we've been dating for way longer than a day.
S: it's been more than a day, I asked you on Friday.
E: don't remind me
S: why was there something wrong with that
E: no I was just having a bad day. I have those a lot.
S: maybe I can make them better
E: lol you already do ♥️
S: how???
E: long story
S: well maybe if you don't have a bad day every Friday you can tell me your long story
E: I'll make it good. Sounds like a plan.
S: perfect. Can't wait to see you again
E: me neither but you're gonna make me late for work
S: you're the one who started this
E: oh we're blaming now? You technically started it you asked me out.
S: fine but I was asleep
E: not last Friday
S: ugh you get me
E: lol. Now I'm literally gonna be late
S: ok ok go. But I'm not taking any blame if you're fired.

I made it to work but I'm not sure I did any work. I also know don't wake Shawn up in the morning, he doesn't have a job that you have to be at an office at 8:30 in the morning to be ready at 9.
~~~~~~~~~~Wednesday~~~~~~~~~
Wednesday I didn't DM Shawn before work. Since I 'woke him up' yesterday I decided to let him sleep and do whatever he wants. If he needs me that bad he can message me first, I can literally google him. So I sat in my office waiting for something to happen, or even an idea to strike. At about 9:30 my phone screen lit up, it was Shawn.

S: hey
E: Hi, are you awake yet?
S: wdym I'm messaging you
E: Is your brain processing anything
S: how do you confuse me this early in the day
E: because I have to go to a think called work and so I've had like 15 years of experience of early morning
S: how have you had 15 years experience, your only 23
E: I went to school dummy
S: jeez apparently I shouldn't have dropped out
E: but you got to pursue your dreams I didn't
E: anyway you finished it
S: what were your dreams?
E: sing, write, express my creativity, make a change in the world
S: why didn't you do that
Why did it come to this. I'm not ready yet. I've been on one date with him and I've already come to a point where the only escape I have to not tell him the truth is to not tell him at all. I have to lie, he'll have to understand, I just can't tell him. What do I do?

S: emma
S: you still there
E: um well it's a long story
S: I have lots of time to listen
E: I don't
S: just tell me the short story then, you have time for that or else you wouldn't be messaging me
He has a point.
E: basically the right time just wasn't there
S: that's too bad. Do you still have those dreams?
E: more than ever
S: I'm sure we can find something
E: ♥️
S:♥️

*********Wednesday Night***************
E: so are we just gonna dm forever
S: wdym
E: we don't have each other's phone number
S: true. I don't mind this tho
E: haven't you ever heard of slipping into someone's dms?
S: no
E: bad habit of mine. It broke my heart
S: dming someone broke your heart
E: yep. More than once. I've slid into yours before with lots of stuff
S: huh? The only messages have been the ones from Friday on
E: different acc
S: you have more than one
E: fan acc
S: oh, ya I get those a lot
E: what do you do with them
S: leave them, ignore them
E: ignore your fans
S: no
E: yes
S: I don't ignore my fans
E: you just said so
S: I said I ignore their dms
E: thats their way of telling you something so by not letting them tell you something you are ignoring what they have to say and you are being very rude
S: sure smarty pants
E: just saying. I was in that situation
S: ugh fine what is your username
E: emma_nason
S: no your other one that you texted me on
E: shawn.p.r.mendesdreamer
E: btw I didn't just text I spammed
S: holy shit Emma there's like hundreds
E: that's what you get
S: if you were a megastar would you answer every single text from your fans
E: well I wouldn't just leave it, I have a phobia of that. I can't stand the notifications there. I also can't stand leaving a message read without responding because I hate when ppl do that to me
S: you have a lot of phobias
E: I know
**************a few mins later***********
E: Shawn you still there?
S: my god you were really personal in those dms
E: you could've learned a lot a lot sooner
S: ya
E: how far back are you
S: 2022
E: oh you haven't got to the worst part yet
S: there's worse
E: there's probably like at least 1000 there
S:1000!!!!!!!
E: sorry dude
S: dude? I'm a dude now
E: keep reading
E: go all the way to the beginning and tell me when your done
*****************10 mins passed********
S: what the hell
E: what
S: I'm at the beginning
E: already
S: I skipped some ok. But seriously a suicide letter.
E: there's more than one there
S: what the hell were you thinking
E: why are you mad at me?
S: you tried telling a teenager that they can't keep you alive anymore
E: I tried telling an adults that they saved my life
S: you were about to kill yourself
E: I was depressed
S: why didn't you get help
E: because I had problems
S: that's why you get help
E: I HAD OTHER ONES MAKING ME NOT GO TO A SPECIALIST
S: isn't life more important dumb ppl don't get help. Smart ppl wouldn't end everything
E: I wasn't dumb Shawn I was trying to help myself. I was independent. You don't even know what I was like
S: did you ever try saying life is boring there's no point in living
E: NO SHAWN I THOUGHT I HT ROCK BOTTOM! AND I COULDN'T TELL OVER HALF MY LIFE
S: why couldn't you. You had a mouth use it

**********(Cries)************

Is it over? Did he just say that? I thought he was a good guy, not the devil. At first I thought he would take my dark past away a fill it with a better future. Apparently I was wrong, he will just be a part of me that is wanted to be forgotten.

S: emma

S: emma

S: are you still there

S: I know you've read these

S: emma answer me please

E: why should I
S: what did I do
S: I'm sorry
E: what did you do!? WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?!?
E: maybe if you looked back you would know. But you'll have to use your head for once
S: omg I'm so sorry. I was upset
E: why were you upset. Were you mad at the decisions I made in my past. At the fact I was depressed because I lost everything. You don't get it until it actually happens. Now you're just building more regret and more haunting things wanted to be forgotten
S: I'm so sorry. Really. I understand if you hate me and don't want to be with me. I've ruined it for you I'll live with it
E: I need some time
{Emma exits out of Instagram}
S: take all the time in the world as long as you're happy
S: please don't go
S:♥️

*************Thursday Night*************
{over text}

Unknown: hey it's Shawn
E: hey
{unknown changed to ♥️Shawn}
S:better?
E: much better
S: so we still on for tomorrow night or is that out
E: still on
S: pick you up at 6
E: ya actually 6 this time not real early
S: I was trying to win your heart
E: haven't I told you you did that 10 years ago
S: ugh fine. Whatever you say. Btw what do you want to do tomorrow night
E: idk you don't have a plan
S: not really.
E: idk. I don't know much about here
S: perfect I have an idea
E: you do now
S: yep but you're waiting. Not telling you my surprise
E: ugh I hate secrets
S: it's not a secret it's a surprise
E: good bye
S: where are you going
E: I'm not leaving jk
S: Rowling
E: ugh 🤦🏻‍♀️
S: what
E: I think you should go to jail
S: why
E: you stole...my heart ♥️
S: haha
E: I'm hilarious. I know