Imagination|SM

Slow

I promise that someday I'll be around
I'll keep you safe
I'll keep you sound
Right now it's pretty crazy
And I don't know how to stop
Or slow it down
Hey
I know there are some things we need to talk about
And I can't stay
Just let me hold you for a little longer now
Take a piece of my heart
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY LONGER! I go over to my phone now telling me "when we are apart, you'll never be alone" The screen has illuminated the name "Shawn♥️" but definitely not in a handwritten way. I do what I'm told and 'slide to answer' then watching as Shawn's face appears. "Hey babe!" "Hi" I gloomily say. "What's wrong?" Shawn asked. I lift my left hand and put it in the form of a half heart. Shawn gives me a confused look. "Omg Shawn, it's saying I'm missing half my heart" "no you're not. 'you'll never be alone'" he sings. I chuckle a bit, making him feel a lot better on the other end. "It's funny because I literally just heard that song and that line was next" I start to cry from laughing. Probably being really sad too but Shawn doesn't have to know that. "I could kiss you right now" he breaks my laughter. "I could kiss you all the time. What are you talking about?" I sass back. "Dude chill!" He half screams back at me. Excuse me! Was I just friend zoned? I shoot him a dirty look. "So I'm a dude now, sugar pie" "what I'm a sugar pie?" Shawn questioned. Before I could speak Shawn interrupted me. "Babe are you okay?" He seemed concerned. I'm not. I couldn't tell him that, he would rush home and forget about touring. I couldn't help myself my face had already dropped from the fake happy, to the depressed lonely me. "Emma. Are. You. Okay?" He broke up his sentence. Trying to hold it in, was what I was doing, until it all came spilling out. Tears raced down my face. I couldn't hide anymore. "No I'm not ok I miss you I can't live without you you save me you make me live I can't do this anymore I don't know how I did for 10 years I wanna give up I can't live like this I need you I'm worried you'll come back not loving me have someone new someone pretty cute and hot not like me someone who has a life someone strong not a baby someone who has money who isn't completely broke someone who can live on their own who doesn't hide who doesn't worry who doesn't want to kill themselves..." I rushed until I couldn't breathe anymore. By now I had rivers with rushing currents, acting as waterfalls. Pouring into a pool of hurt. The tears were warm, warming the legs of my broken body. My breathing was heavy, lungs collapsing, and when the current has slowed its speeds up once again. "Emma" Shawn almost broke down. "Why didn't you tell me you weren't in the right place? I would've stayed." "Which is why I didn't say that." I whispered between breaths. "I wanted you to go. At least I thought I did, a few weeks ago." "You can change your mind you know. I'll respect that. I love you, and whatever you need, I will give." My hands shook. I didn't know what to say. Did I want him to come home or did I want him to stay? I didn't know. I curled up in a ball on the couch and let my shaky hand drop my phone. It landed face up towards the ceiling, but not before Shawn could get a glance of me and realize something was seriously wrong. "Emma, I'm coming home." He worried. I could tell he was serious. Before ending it I told Shawn one thing. "Stay. I'll go"