Imagination|SM

Calls

I decided to go on a stress leave from work. I'm off for at least a week, maybe longer. I would've tried working if I could actually sleep. I haven't ate since the last breakfast I had with Shawn. I just haven't been up to it. It's now Friday and he left on Wednesday. I get the morning call from Shawn. "Morning ba..." "what" I dizzily croaked. "Emma why are you so pale?" He worried. I did feel kinda sick. I took my phone to the kitchen with me and got some water. "Emma! Why haven't you ate anything?" Oh god he found out. He would've saw the dishes from before he left had not yet moved and nothing was added to it. "Emma! Eat something!" Shawn panicked. "I'm not hungry" I sounded like a child. I don't feel like eating. I'd rather die. "Emma you won't get better until you eat. I'm not leaving until you eat. I'm not letting you starve yourself." "Fine" I sighed. I grabbed some soda crackers out of the pantry. "Thank you" Shawn said relieved. At least he's happy. I still didn't want to eat but I knew that what Shawn wants, so I'll do it for him, and only him. Munching on the soda crackers didn't make me feel any better but they made Shawn happy. I finished the arm of them listening to Shawn talk. He talked about all the people in New York, the city, the shows. He has a show this afternoon and another one tomorrow. I suddenly felt kinda hungry and very low on energy. It must be those damn crackers. I got up to get a banana, leaving my phone behind. "Babe, where are you going?" I never answered. "Emma, do not make yourself vomit what you just ate." "Shawn I'm not anorexic" I said "I did a project on it in grade 7. I know what not to do." I also have no self control to purposely make myself throw up. I'm surprised it's been 2 days since I ate. Though I didn't really want to do that, but it took no control. I come back to my phone with a banana in my hand. It's a little riper than I like but I feel like eating one right now to give me some energy. "I really want to see you as a dad" I randomly blurted our between bites of banana. "What?" Shawn questioned me. "You're so concerned about me, your girlfriend for a month, I want to see what you'll be like with your own children." "I'll love them to death" "you're gonna be a good dad Shawn." "Yeah but a good dad always needs to have the right person to parent with" "are you saying the bad cop?" "No. I'm saying I couldn't think of anyone better to have a kid of my own with." "Awe" I cried and 'accidentally' ended the call. I had an idea.