it breaks my heart (karmagisa) || Complete

I'm sorry I'm not okay

Nagisa's POV:
I sat there tears rolling down my cheeks endlessly, I feel so bad for leaving Asano without saying anything, and for ignoring both karma's and Asano's texts, I sat there asking myself why is it like this, why do I miss the only person that I couldn't wait to stay away from, why do I miss her when everytime I remember her all those feelings of feeling worthless come rushing back into my whole body, I found myself sitting on the edge of a random cliff deep in the forest, with a blade in my hand, nobody cares if I'm hurting myself as long as I have a perfect smile on the outside, both of my arms are now bleeding, and all I could do is just sit there and watch the blood being drained out of my body, as cold tears ran from my eyes, I truly wanted someone to save me because I don't have the energy to save myself anymore, all those fake smiles and dumb excuses have killed me on the inside, and now I'm left with nothing, no reasons to hold on to whatever is left of my miserable life, no reason to stop me from hurting myself and no reason for me not to jump over this edge right now, I cried and cried but nobody could here but I kept being patient as I waited for someone to save me from my self...

Karma's POV:
I've been calling and texting nagisa all day, why isn't he answering, maybe something happened, I sighed deeply as I realized what I had to do, I looked for his number in my phone as I sighed once more and then called him, he answered quickly which surprised me, I said: listen asshole, I didn't call to talk to you, just tell me if nagisa is with you, he sighed then said: I was about to call you to ask the same thing, my driver told me he went out in the morning before I woke up, and he hasn't been answering my texts, my first thoughts were that he would be with you but that's obviously not the case, I said: although I hate you, we probably would work better together on finding nagisa, he said: sadly I agree, meet me in front of the park in 10 minutes, I'll try to think of something, I quickly said okay and the hung up, I got dressed and ran out of the door, we got there at the same time, I didn't even bother to say hi, and I jumped into my idea: listen, I think you probably already know about Ritsu, and if you don't she's a computer that can get us any info we want, and she's also our classmate and friend, I'm gonna see if she can track his phone, although he probably shut it off I think she can find it, she automatically put herself in all of our phones anyways, he didn't say anything, he just nodded, I unlocked my phone and opened Ritsu, she said cheerfully: hey karma, I said: hey Ritsu, sorry to bother but I need your help, she said: sure what is it? I said: nagisa is kind of missing and we're worried, can you track his phone, she quickly nodded and started searching, after two minutes she said: okay I found a location, he doesn't have a connection there and his phone is turned off, so this is the closest thing I have to his location, he's in the forest, in the edges of the South Side, but that's the closest I'm getting, I sighed then said: no that's enough Ritsu, I know where he is, I've picked him up from there a few times, and it's not pretty, so we need to go, thanks for the help I'll update you later, she bowed her head then shut off, I turned to Asano and asked him: you came here with a car right, he nodded, I continued: okay then we'll go the closest we can to the forest on the car, then we'll run from there, we walked to his car and got in, he told the driver to go as fast as he can, we were both sitting in silence when he said: what did you mean when you said it wasn't pretty? I sighed then answered him: he usually would go there to cry, but he hasn't gone there in a while, so something must have happened, and also he usually calls me to pick him up after a few hours but he didn't, Asano was looking at me with a shocked look, he didn't say anything, he turned his head towards the window, and stared at it for the rest of the ride...

Nagisa's POV:
I was still sitting there, but the difference was, I didn't have any tears left in me, my body started getting weaker and weaker, at the loss of blood, my eyes got heavy I backed up from the edge as much as I can, and then everything went black, I thought to myself, I didn't want to die like this...

Asano's POV:
We got to the forest, and karma started running, I followed him without saying anything, after about 20 minutes of running we got to the place, we couldn't see anything at first, but I noticed what seemed like a lying body in the ground very close to the edge, we both ran towards it and I saw something I'll never be able to get out of my head, nagisa was lying there, his hands were slit with god knows how many cuts, he looked pale and lifless, and the first question that came up to my mind, was he alive?, I bent down next to him and checked his pulse, it was weak but it was still there, karma was stand in there motionless, I yelled at him to carry nagisa and go to the car since he was faster than me, I said: if I don't catch up to you, take him to the hospital and I'll be there in less than 10 minutes, he nodded, lifting nagisa up in his arms, as he ran off, I quickly ran behind him and to my surprise managed to get to the car at the same time as him, we both got in and I told the driver to step on it, we drove there and all I kept thinking was please hold on, I gripped on his hand and pet his hair as we got closer to the hospital...

(A/N hey guys sorry for that cliffhanger I couldn't resist it, just know that I am a very evil person and I'll probably do a lot of cliffhangers, I hope you "like" This chapter, I apologize deeply if somebody is triggered by the mention of depression or suicide, but writing about them is kind of a way to express my experience, so I seriously hope nobody's offended, ily all remember to stay beautiful 💞😊💕).