Aphonic {TMR;Newt}

[10%]

I was dragged back down through the layers of sleep that resembled the rippling surfaces of water. I was further restricted to breath to where I felt delirious when I witnessed these hallucinations. I felt friable like the water was crushing me with its weight. It was apparent water was a big concept of my past.

"It's gonna be okay." The gravelly edge to the sound of her voice tried to soothe the other in her arms.

"I'm so scared..."

"I know."

Their voices were in a mournful dance of cries, sobbing into each other's bodies for the other to absorb the others hurt.

"It hurts so bad." The other voice carried a feathery articulation in her words. "They're going to make me forget e-everyone..."

At last the other didn't know how to respond.

"I know..."

"What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything, Prim." She exhaled shakily. "And I know saying this won't do much right now...but I want you to know that I love you, okay? You're my best friend." She couldn't keep her composure until the end. Like the dismantled, tortured subjects they were, they finally just broke down.

"You're mine too..."

"We'll see each other again. I promise."

_

"Now why are you always crying when you wake, love?"

A thick thumb brushed against my cheekbone, training the tears to soak into my skin. It was a touch that seemed unexplainably natural. When my eyes brightened to adjust on the face above me, despite me already knowing it was Newt, I was flooded with the warm feeling only he could give me.

The inflamed, befuddled maul you get when you awake while crying was suffocating me. I remained relaxed, however. This was not a nightmare I would usually get. It was just...sad.

Just mournfully sad.

"Another nightmare?" He whispered gently. I shook my head, drowsily sitting up to greet the morrow Glade. Dotted already bustling boys busy with their work, doors open and sun broiling. I sighed. I slept in again, which was an abnormal rarity for me. I'm always up when Minho's up. However some days I'm sluggish than others, and those days Newt always lets me sleep in.

"Sad dream..." I wrote truthfully. I always feel compelled to tell Newt the truth. No matter how little or big the problem.

"Want to tell me about it?"

"About my best friend." He fell solemn at this, however at the same time seeming utterly perplexed.

"You remember them?"

"Just her voice..."

It's been two weeks. The nightmares never stopped. Some would be lighter on me, others were thoroughly horrific. Sometimes I would force myself to stay awake through the length of the night to avoid them. Other times I thought I just couldn't take it. However, he was always there to wake me up, always with the same cheeky smile. It made it a little easier.

Newt sighed heavily, his sympathy oozing from his eyes.

"Do you need to rest some more?" Quickly I shook my head. I didn't want to go back to sleep alone. I couldn't sleep if neither him or Minho was in their hammocks. I was terrified to sleep alone. "Alright, well, you missed lunch rush. Frypan's a bit sour you weren't there."

He attempted to lift the air with a gentle tease. Of course, I smiled, because of course, it worked. After shuffling through each job to find what fits best, the kitchen was where I was most comfortable. It felt familiar to cook meals for others. It was comforting, and with Frypan there, not a second was dull. A few insults were thrown since I was a girl working in the kitchen, but Newt and Minho were quick to always shut them up. Especially Minho and Fry. Those boys have comebacks for every scenario.

"Looks like I'm working with you today." I wrote with a shy smile, tucking my hair behind my ear as I climbed out of my hammock. Newt seemed taken back by the blunt call. I'm not one to be very managing.

"Looks like you are." He smiled, waiting for me to catch up to follow after him in the Gardens.

_

"Y'know, there's something called asking for help. It's an incredible thing I suggest trying it sometime."

Well, I thought I could do it. The tomato didn't look that far up, but now that I'm under it, it seems a bit of stretch. As I ventured on the tip of my toes to reach, my equilibrium earnestly disagreed. Newt noticed this struggle, reaching over and ripping it from its stem. With a satisfied look, he handed it down to me.

"See how it works?" Rolling my eyes, charily placing it in a weaved basket made of twigs and wilted rye-grass. It was nearly brimming with plump repined balloons of red.

"Hey, Prim!" I looked up, straightening my posture from being hunched over the raw greenery. Zart came jogging up to me, his arm outstretched with a loop of ripped fabric dangling between his fingers. "We found something you might be able to tie back your hair with."

I stared at it for a moment, slowly plucking it from his fingers, before breaking out into a soft smile. I could tell they didn't just find it, they made it. It looked similar to the cloth I could find draping over the doorways in the infirmary. A blue allotment tied into a loop. I mouthed a thank you, beginning to gather up my hair near the crown of my head.

"You'll get another headache if you tie it up high," Newt warned. "Here."

Without needing to ask, he grabbed the cloth from my hand, bunching up the ink tresses of hair to the center of the back of my head. He never once yanked or pulled. He made sure he was gentle, so gentle it caused me to shiver at the fingers that brushed against my nape.

"There." He quickly turned away from me, returning to his work.

I eyeballed him suspiciously, amazed at how he had known that skill. As a girl, I know only very few boys know how to tie up a girls hair. Even fewer know how to braid. It's a skill cultured by experience boys are given only in one circumstance.

"Where'd you learn how to do that?" I wrote, tapping his shoulder for him to read it. He didn't look at it to be such a big deal. He shrugged it off.

"I don't know. Just kind of...y'know what I dunno."

Of course, maybe they did it for their mothers, or perhaps a girlfriend. But I had this feeling when he touched me, how effortlessly he performed the task. He was so cautious and precise while meddling with my hair. And this feeling wasn't telling me it was because of a certain special girl of the past.

It was the tender touch of a big brother.

But I kept that thought to myself. If I told him what I thought, I wouldn't want to give false hope on a gut feeling. And it was just a feeling. I could be completely wrong. However, Newt strikes me as the type to be one. He's lenient, bossy of course in the right ways, has a good ear. To be honest he's a dream.

"Hey, hey! No slackin'."

A bit commanding too.

Letter Ten

my favorite thing about you is your smell
you smell like
earth
herbs
gardens
and a little more
human than the rest of us

-Prim

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Sorry, this one was a bit short, but I literally died from cuteness overload while writing so we Gucci.

Remember when I said to be mentally prepared for this chapter? I LIED. It's the next one, but now your extra extra ready.

Thank you for reading as always!