Love me, love me not(EDITING)

Chapter 22

Chris's POV

These past few days have been overwhelming. It seems like everyone is just happy to see me. I get it, I've been gone for almost 6 months, but I'm so tired. It's so hard to sleep.
      The first night, I didn't even sleep, I couldn't. I may have not killed Sam, but I put him in a coma. He may have deserved it, but I can never hurt a person. Last night, Gray and Dalton came over. We all slept in my bed, putting Dalton in the middle.
    It didn't feel right. It didn't even feel real. I held Dalton all night last night, playing with his hair. They both slept so soundly.
   I get out of bed, going towards my closet. I've showered 8 times in the past two days. I barely fit into my clothes, I'm too small. I take a deep breath in, clenching onto the dress I wore to the wedding.
     "Everytime you call on me, I'll drop what I do. You are my best friend, and we've got shit to shoot", my phone starts ringing.
    "Hey, Hope", I answer.
  "What are you doing?"
I shrug, closing my closet door, "Nothing."
  "Well, if you aren't busy tonight, Connor invited us over for dinner in an hour if you want to go."
   "Yea, sure. I'll meet you there in an hour."
"Okay, I'll pick you in 45."
"No, I can drive."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
She sighs, "Okay, well see you there."
"Alright, bye", I hang up.
I buzz my lips, re-opening my closet door. What should I wear? I look through everything, trying not to get upset. I take out a pair of skinny jeans, and a purple top that slides off my shoulders.
I throw it on, wrapping my hair into a bun, not even caring about my makeup. I spray a few sprays of perfume onto my neck, sliding on my black converse.
I glance at myself in the mirror, then looked at myself again. Everything about me was smaller. I could make an outline of my bones just fine, my face looking like a skull. I look terrible. My eyes are dark, my lips losing its color, my nose pointy.
I pull up my shirt, briefly seeing my ribs. Luckily, I could barely see them. I don't want to see them. I don't want to look like this. I pull my shirt back down, grabbing my wallet and keys.
    I drove to Connor's waiting in the driveway for Hope.
    15 minutes later, her car pulls up, honking. I slip out, walking towards it.
   "Hey", Hope greets me as she gets out of her car.
   I smile back, "Hey."
I don't remember the last time I smiled. Actually smiled. How could I smile? I wanted to smile, showing my teeth. Teeth showing people always seem the happiest. I don't know why. I want to be teeth smile happy.
     "You look cute", she hugs me.
  "You can stop lying. I already know I look terrible. Hardly any of my clothes fit."
    She rolls her eyes, "Shut up, you look good."
  I sigh, "Okay, whatever."
      She links my arm with mine, walking towards the door.
Ding dong.
  One of the maids answer, letting us in.
Connor made it where I didn't have to deal with police or reporters. It didn't even go public. I don't even have to go to court, they just needed a statement.
    The first thing I smelled was Connor's cooking. Chicken tettrazzini. My favorite meal from him.
   "It smells good, Con!" Hope shouted over the music he was playing.
  She lets go of my arm as we enter the kitchen. He pauses it with a remote, turning around ajd smiling at us, "Thanks."
    I'm glad I wasn't the only one going simple. He wore a white plain shirt with gray sweatpants. Hope just wore jeans and a sweatshirt. It made me feel better.
   He walks over to me, hugging me carefully, "Hey, C."
     I hug him back, tightly, "Hey, Con."
   "Well, you and Hope go seat yourselves in the dining room. Dinner will be ready in 5 minutes and, um..Courtney should be out soon", the way he said 'Courtney will be out soon" seemed nervous.
Was everything okay?
  Hope even looked uncomforable as we say down at the big round dark wood table. After a few minutes of silence, I look up at Hope who was looking down at her phone.
    "Hop-", I was cut off.
"Hey guys!" Courtney walks in from one of the hallways.
   She looked casual too. Leggings and a hoodie.
    "Hey", Hope says, smiling.
   I wave.
     Hope looks at me, like I was missing something. Seriously, what am I missing?
    "Alright, bon appétit", Connor sets down Hope's and I's bowls in front of us.
   "Thanks", I say, trying to give him a warm smile.
   "Yea, thanks, Con", Hope says, digging in.
  "And some water for you ladies", Courtney brings in champagne glasses full of ice water.
    "Thank you", I take it from her.
  "Thanks for coming", Connor says, as he brings in his and Courtney's bowls.
    "Yea thanks for inviting me."
"Yea, thanks", Hope says, her mouth full of pasta.
  Connor sat next to me and Courtney sat next to him. The chairs were spaced out, but it we only took up half of the table.
    This was so delicious. It's been so long since I had real food.
    "So, I'm glad Hope found you, Christina. Or else we would have never found you", Courtney tells me, taking another bite.
  "Yea."
  Hope looks at me and grins goofily. That made me smile.
    "Connor stopped looking for you, so it's a good thing we did find you. Hope and everyone else were going insa-", she was cut off by Hope's death glare, and a kick from Connor.
   I quickly lost my appetite, "No, it's fine. I probably would've stopped looking for me, too."
     Connor looks at me, with regret in his eyes, "Don't say that. I didn't want to stop. I was getting nowhere, and you were at the tips of my fingers. Im so sorr-"
   "Is it hot in here?" Courtney interuppts, taking off her hoodie, revealing a white cami shirt.
Pregnant. That's what I was missing. She's actually pregnant this time.
  There was no way you could hide a fake belly with a cami. Cami's can be skin tight, and it was. She had to be at least 5 months.
   "You know what? I actually have to go. I have plans with Dalton", I quickly stood up, the chair squeaking as it slid.
   "Chris...", Connor softly says, guilt in his eyes.
"Thanks for dinner", I grab my phone, quickly heading to the door.
   "Chris!" Hope runs after me.
"Where are you going? We haven't even had desert yet!" Courtney shouts.
  I seem to bust open the door open, running the rest of my way to the car.
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Hope's POV
"Chris, wait!" I almost hit the front door with my head.
    "Chris!" I run towards her car, but she was already backing up, leaving the property.
   I sigh.
Why did you have to get her pregnant, you fucktard?
   She's 5 months pregnant and like a week. He told me he didn't wear protection the night they conceived. I was so mad at him, his arm had my hand mark for hours. Why are men so stupid?
     Sure, he's married and has a right to fuck his wife, but he doesn't love her. Her name isn't even Courtney, it's Lucifer. I hate her. I will always hate her.
   "Chris!" Connor runs out the door.
I cross my arms, glaring at him, "She's gone."
     "You know what, Hope-"
  I bit my bottom lip, "You know what, Connor? You can shut the fuck up."
     I walk to my car, ignoring everything he's saying.
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Chris's POV