Save each other

trying but is too hard

- They started after we got away from the First Order on Crait.- she sighed- They're different but still always about the same. I open my eyes and I'm in Ahch-To again- Rey couldn't hide her voice from breaking by remembering everything that happened there, and what her nightmares where about.-, sometimes I'm in a hut, other times the shore or just in the island.- she finished by clearing her throat.

-And..?- Finn and Poe said leaning in to Rey in sign of curiosity.

-Then the force- the force connects me to- I don't know guys, I can't.- she said getting up from the table from her room.

-Wait, Rey! to whom connects you the force?!- Finn got to say before she got into the bathroom to take a shower.

-To Ben.- Rey said opening the door looking at the ground and almost whispering.

-Who?- Poe said confused to Finn.

- Did she say 'Ben'? who is he?- Finn asked with the same tone Poe used.

_________________________________________

-We have gathered enough allies and weapons to destroy the First Order once and for all. We will start with the main cruiser in three days. I will give more details in a couple of hours. you can return to what you were doing. May the force be with us.- Leia said with her usual leader voice. Rey aspired to be like her someday.

-hey, General! Wait!- rey said to her before she left the Reunion Room.
-whats going on, Rey?- she asked. Rey felt like she was kind of her mother, always caring but tough when necessary.
-you said we'll attack the main cruiser, but you're son's in there!- she said worried. Rey didnt know why she wanted him to survive. Maybe she didnt lost all her hope on him after all.
-i know, but he is the enemy. I hate doing this to him but its the only way we win.- leia said taking rey's arm. She sounded so sure that she didnt wanted to contradict her.
-if you're sure, then its okay. Sorry i took your time.-  Rey said starting to turn arround.
-its okay, Rey. Have a good night.
-i will.- She lied. Every night she was afraid. Afraid that her nightmares would haunt her until she couldnt scream anymore and were trapped in them forever. Everyday the same. sometimes she could control them and make them more peacefull, but they were always the same. And today was no exception.
________________________________________
Rey opened her eyes, closed them and opened them again. It was at night this time. She was soaking wet. It must've been the night she and Ben touched hands. So many memories came that made her sick. Tears were on her cheeks already. Then she felt it, the recognizeble tingle in her spine.
-Rey- he said looking at her from head to toe.- what happened to you?.
-not that you care after all. You lied. You left me, after you said i was not alone. You lying bastard!-  Rey spit those words out like poison. Suddenly Ben started to look the way he did in the throne room. His hair was messy and greasy and his eyes were tired, but still had that flame in them.
-i lied? Or you did?- he stood up and started to get closer- you told me i wasnt alone too, but then you let me in the floor and ran away with that lightsaber. I was the one willing to never let you feel alone again, but you just abbandonded me like everyone else did.- he said with one single tear rolling down his face. He was angry, yet calm.
-go! go away! I never want to see you again!- she cried out to his face.
-Rey! Rey!- someone was calling her.- c'mom Rey!- it was Rose.
-what!- Rey was tired of people waking her up like that, but she was thankful that she got her out of there.
-you were screaming, again- Rose sighed.- this been up for too long. We're worried about you, rey.- she put a hand on Rey's shoulder- what is going on.
Rey sighed and gave up. Rose was right, she needed to tell her.
-fine. But please dont tell Finn or Poe about it.