SEX AND THE BOY ✓

LIONEL MESSI VERSUS LEBRON JAMES

LEROI HATES ADULTS ALMOST MORE than he hates being rejected. He screws his head to the left the umpteenth time in this very second just to get the attention of Maurice Greene. This time, the gods answer his prayers as the his evil glares dart the window open.

He doesn't care if he's been an insensitive, selfish hoe, if Charles and Chester are having an heated argument, if Maurice is the nucleus of the ruckus. He places his desires, his wishes before others' and what he wants with all his heart right now is Maurice to notice him. Maurice Greene must notice him today.

Their sounds resemble mumbles from a dying radio with a dying battery. Leroi hopes there won't be dying humans anytime soon, anytime ever. Especially involving his cutie patootie Reecie. He couldn't care less about the coaches though.

"I've had it with you and your carefreeness with this child. He's so fragile right now, emotionally and physically but you still want him to join the basketball team?!"

"Come on. It's going to be a good way to loosen his 'emotional' and 'physical' strings."

"No, I'm not allowing that bullshit!"

"He's my son. This is not your fucking business!"

"Oh, really? It doesn't really seem so after you left him for --"

The window shatters.

The splitting din tears the air in the locker lobby in half and Leroi's compusure to spring up on its toe. Tiny yards before Leroi, laying in its pieces is the silver football trophy and God helped him, it didn't kiss his head during its jail break or else, the glass won't be the only thing in smithereens.

Now the only thing he has to think about is how he'll break in the apparently heated family argument and swoop in to save his dame in distress, until he remembers Leroi Slayberry doesn't think.

The moment Leroi's palm almost necks the wooden door to tear it down does Maurice burst out with a hurricane of fire and brimstone gracing him as an halo.

Leroi pounces on his toes and swaggers on Maurice's trail. "Hey --"

"Don't even." Maurice shuts him down without sparing the shorter boy a glance.

Leroi pouts but follows him nonetheless and he knows he shouldn't be doing this, considering the recent family argument.

But damn. He, Leroi Slayberry with a libido bigger than Asia, couldn't find anybody useful on Earth to his penile needs and heart desire that he settled for a freaking asexual! Talk about a toxic crush.

But no magnitude of Midas' Touch can make this opportunity more golden that it already is. That's why he's dangling his leverage in Maurice's horror-stricken face.

"Go on a date with me."

The request isn't blunt but sharp. Sharper than a seven-edged sword.

If Maurice rejects -- which seems 99.9% impossible judging from his aghast countenance and the murdering intent oozing from his sweat pores -- he can kiss his cute little silver necklace sayonara.

The moment the beautiful thing with the pendant carved in an immersing MM snapped off his neck and before Leroi's sneakers, he'd known today is his day.