SEX AND THE BOY ✓

BATTLE OF THE (LOVESICK) BASTARDS

AUNT VENUS IS RANTING ABOUT how she's never flied economy class before and her first time being yesternight was her worst experience with air transportation but she's unaware of pulling Leroi's hair harder than necessary. The boy keeps grumbling, making a face with a pained sneer. He feels like his hair is on fire, and when the last cornrow commences, he blows out an invisible cloud of relief.

"The flight attendant was cute though. Oh my God, he is like my perfect type; the slim and Brazilian type." Venus pushes Leroi's head forward, the boy heys in response. "Dios mios, he even has a beauty spot which was weird as fuck though because do guys even have that?"

"Aunt Venny, you little-- didn't you tell me you'd "literally give all my priced Louboutin collection out to fucking charity" for the buffy African ones with moustaches and zero beards."

Venus Slayberry, Robyn's younger sister lives in Paris but decides it's that time of the year she visits the only family she has, which also happens to be the family business anniversary--a golden anniversary in fact--which also happens to be Leroi's grandfather's birthday. This occasion is going to be like the usual,; a fat gala in some five-star hotel hall with all type of snobs, jewelries and ambitions. Imagine how tired we are.

"Those are my Instagram types dude. I've my Twitter, Pinterest, even Tumblr types. And of course, there's the real life types--"

"What are you doing?"

"What else do you think? Gelling these musty boy edges of course."

Now Leroi's head really feels like it's on fire. Apart from the gel scorching his vision dizzy, his head looks so ridiculously small with the afro suppressed and reduced to nothing but bold stripes running across his scalp to the back of his neck and not making him look anymore like a mushroom.

"Now I just look like Trey Songz."

Venus wipes the remaining gel off her fingers on his obsidian brows after making waves on the sides of his head.

"As you should. Hell as every boy should look. Then maybe I'd be a babymama to seven men while faithfully nursing their children in jail serving time for pedophilia and underage nudity."

"What?"

"You look so good darling." Leroi shrugs with smugness, standing upright to face the vanity before him while Venus scrambles around for the corset. "Blimey. This is the bomb." A rose does she find and while she attaches it on Leroi's left breast, her sunhat pushing against his chin.

"I think it looks perfect, aunty," Leroi sincerely breathes taking in all his features with satisfaction. Having a Parisian fashion journalist as an aunt actually pays off because Leroi can only fathom his good looks now with zero humility.

Black semi-tight faux jean pants ironed to razors hug his long thick legs and while obsidian suede loafers with tassels and sparkly diamonds illustrate the Versace medusa, his white vintage blouse with those bloated sleeves and a scarf around the collar sits prim around him. His black cornrowed hair adorned with pearl cowries contrasts perfectly with the black-and-white rose broach stapled to his shirt. The onyx necklace hanging to his sternum would've been corny if it isn't worth ten thousand dollars.

"You look perfect."

Venus pulls out his Airpods from his ears and sends them flying to his bed. "Hey, why would you do--"

"We only have five minutes! Five minutes before Daddy let the dogs out on my fat ass!"

The plus-sized woman barrels out of the room, making Leroi sigh before  he shoves his iPhone into his backpocket. Jogging down the stairs, he can hear Kaolin in the living room, his voice smelling of fuckboy while he comments on his aunt's dress. Which isn't even proper to say the least. Venus is in a floral gown with furry pumps, the sunhat has been replaced with an even wider hat that has a plethora of feather-infused  flowers stitched into one side.