dont look elsewhere ... as the one you look for is never around...
Cinta tidak semestinya bersatu.
Kita hanya mampu merancang... cita2 dan cinta kita mungkin tidak sehaluan.
Setelah kami memasuki kereta. Dia terus memulakan pemanduan. Hati aku masih tak keruan.
"U kenyang tak?" Tiba2 die bersuara. Pandanganya masih di atas jalan. Gila tak kenyang. Tengok dia pun aku boleh kenyang.
"Yup. Im full dah. Why u ask? U lapar lagi ke?" Aku mula mengutarakan soalan. "I kenyang. Tengok u pun i da kenyang. I nak make sure u kenyang because its gonna be a long drive." Dia copy paste ayat aku doh... Long drive... woii nak g mana nih?
"Mateen. Please tell me where are we going?" Rayu dah aku ni. "We going south." Amboi... dia ingat aku tengah tengok compass ka ni.
"South where?" Aku tanya lagi. Keretanya meluncur laju.. Memasuki highway plus sg. Besi. "U... jangan la macam ni. U buat i takut la. Risau i ni... bagi tau la nak pegi mana." Merayu lagi neh.. "Nak risau apenye Rosa. We are still in Malaysia. Masih dalam negara u. I yang patut risau." Ape lah kau ngarut ni dol.
"Rosa... kalau u mengantuk.. u lelap la.. sampai nanti i kejut kan" pujuknye. Manje. Lembut. Alahai.. cair... "U tau tak.. kalau u tak nak cakap kite nak pegi mane... i report polis u culik i..." aku dah start game ugut2 ni. "Kalau dah tau kene culik.. macam mana u nak report polis and kalau u call polis pun.. banyak saksi nampak u sendiri dengan rela hati ikut i masuk dalam kereta tanpa paksaan... hahahaha.... u ni funny la" tawanya... betul jugak tu. Tak menjadi ugutan aku ni rupenye.
"Tido la.. baring je kat bahu i" pergghh... offer best gile... that broad shoulder... kalau landing kat situ.. sumpah tak nak bangun dah. Bang... keto ni beso.. jauh na bahu awak tu... hahaha
"Tak la. I tak mengantuk. Why dont u tell me about yourself. Whatever yang u rase i patut tahu pasal u while u driving ni or u tak suka borak time drive. I boleh je senyap." Meh la borak... kalau tak aku landing nanti.
Alamak! Gambar ini tidak mengikut garis panduan kandungan kami. Untuk meneruskan penerbitan, sila buang atau muat naik gambar lain.
"Hurmm... ok.. where should i start. What u want to know?" "I want to know everything that is not in the internet. Yang mane i boleh google tak payah. So we can save time" Save time .. hurmm... aku pun tak tahu ape nasib aku malam ni... Jam dah menununjukkan pukul 11.30.
Dia masih terdiam. Berfikir. "Mateen. I didnt see u check your phone since earlier tonight. I rasa pelik la." Aku muyskil sebenarnya. Baginya phone adalah nyawanya coz thats what Lisa told me. Aku tak check phone coz aku nampak whatsapp notification dari Lisa je pun. Malas layan.
"Why should i? U dah ada depan mata i. Why i nak check phone. Normally its a whatsapp from my buddies in our group and a ig notifications from my fans which i dont bother and a dm which i not excited to reply." Wahh... aku depan mata tak nak tengok phone. Huh... ayat manis mahkluk elok ni.
Dia memandu agak laju. Sedar2 kami baru melepasi Seremban. Kemana lah agaknya hala tujunya.
"I want you to know... that im not an angel Rosa. I manusia biasa. I have feelings too. If dalam internet.. macam2 artikel u boleh bace tentang i. Some of it is true but mostly is not. If u google after this and u need a confirmation about it. U can ask me. Dont belive in all u read online." Aku rase dia dah start nak bagitau about his life.
"Life is not easy for me too. Yes im lucky to be born as who i am. Tapi tuhan tu maha adil kan. Most of decision for my life is not decide by me. Where to study.. what to do... how to act .... and who to love...."
Alamak! Gambar ini tidak mengikut garis panduan kandungan kami. Untuk meneruskan penerbitan, sila buang atau muat naik gambar lain.
Die hentikan ayatnya di situ sambil menandang ku pantas. "U know what i mean right. All my ex's is not approve by my family. Well not to say family specifically... or maybe i shall say the palace. So.. kalau i have girlfriend.. i try my best to hide it so the palace wont know about it. But itu past. Im a grown man and i nak buat my own decision now."
Kesiannya... macam mana la perasaan hidup macam tu. Semua orang yang tentukan dan kite kene mengikut kehendak ramai. I can't do that. I will rebel for sure. Im a women of my own voice.
"Luckily for me. Our family are close. My 2 sister and brother from the same mother understand me well. My brother Azim... he is a rebellious type. He just don't care about anything and my father didn't bother much about him. But im closed with my father... and i want to make him proud of me. I want to be just like him. A ruler who loved by all and to be that... there's a lot of sacrifice need to be done. Personally." Hurm... anak yang baik die ni.
"Such as?" Soal ku..
"I can't do what i want... my future is there.. waiting for me in Brunei. I need to help my big brother to rule the kingdom in absence of my father. I need to travel around the world to maintain good relationship with other countries. Brunei tak macam Malaysia Rosa... semua hal ehwal negara dijaga oleh keluarga diraja... my family.. even kami ada minister but my father punya pendekatan yang berbeza. The royal still have to work. Turun padang and see it by yourself." Owh.. baru la aku paham. Itu la pasal agaknya sultan Brunei selalu kesana kemari sendiri dan bukan menteri2 nya.
"I understand now." Jawabku ringkas. Perlahan.
Baru aku tersedar kami sudah melepasi Muar...
"Are we heading to JB" soal ku bila kereta dipandunya melintasi papan tande exit muar.
"Yup. We going to JB ni cik rosa" menjawab sambil ketawa. Aku turut ketawa... alahai.. nape tak cakap awal2. Dah pukul 1.30 pagi. Aku mengosok2 tangan ku. Sejuk. Tiba2 tangan kanan ku ditariknya. Dia genggam jari ku. Bertaut. Di letak kan dibibir seksi nye dan kemudian santai di atas peha bermuscle tu. Macam tak ada perasaan je buat aku macam ni.
Aku pulak mati tiba2. Aku memandang tepat ke arah nya. Ape ni? Kenapa buat macam ni? Baru kenal je kot? Tak kan nak romantik2? Cik abg oiii.... iman cik adik ni senipis kulit bawang.... jangan macam ni sangat... cik adik terkam kang... sia2 je. Nak aku tarik tanganku... sayang... pasal suka sebenarnya dilayan macam tu.
"Mateen. Why? Anything? Why suddenly u treat i macam ni yee? Kita baru kenal kan?" Banyak nye la soklan aku....
Sambil dia memandang ku... tangan kirinya masih erat bersama tangan ku....
"Rosa... did you belive in love at first sight?"
"No" jawabku pantas. "No Mateen. There is no such thing as love at first sight. What i know is only lust at first sight" jawab ku lagi.
"U are wrong Rosa. U're so wrong" jawab lelaki ini dengan lembut. Romantic. Sambil mengucup terus tangan ku.
