guilty of devotion - [dnp au]

5.:. don't worry, you will // lovelytheband

september 20th

- frankly, you could rather date me, en. - dodie utters in her singsong voice, making me roll my eyes at her. as of.

in our little and, thanks to her, nicely decorated dorm room, she pretends to give me good advice on how to deal with what could possibly turn out to be my second relationship.

nicely decorated because, while my other roommate saoirse and i had gone home for the weekend, dodie, with the help of dan and phil, painted our cave's walls in a calm, green tone, put up a set of coolly coloured fairy lights, as well as our this month's freshly printed photographs, taken during class. those are now on the same two opposite walls where the three originally existing book shelves are glued to.

- full apologies, dodes, but i'm just not that into girls. - i state rationally, stuffing my physics book in an already overflowing purple backpack, which by accident matches the colour of our room's door.

- it's all about the personali-- my friend starts off but i butt in, aware of what she's about to declare.

- oh shut up, i like boys. just because dan's being a bit of an idiot, doesn't mean i'll stop trying and switch to others. attractions don't work that way. - i chuckle when i've finished talking, hoping dodie wouldn't take the 'shut up' part seriously but she appears rather upset. what else did i expect of her, really.

- dan's hurting you and you haven't even been dating for a week. - she announces sentimentally, crossing her arms. i purse my lips together, watching dodie go back to sorting out her eyebrows in her silvery hand mirror right after.

- that's what boys do, i'm used to it. - i lie, in reality having only the amount of experience as being with someone once before. - and i've told you a billion times that what we're doing is not dating. he doesn't want to rush this since he's never even been in a relationship. besides, no boundaries for now. no jealousy, dan can be with anyone he wants to be with and vice versa. - finishing, i get mildly upset, well aware that at this point i wouldn't choose anyone else over dan, under any circumstances.

whereas i haven't a clue about how willing the other involved person is to be with me.

***

- where's saoirse? i assumed she'd be here by now. - i inspect the small crowd next to the grey photography studio, unable to spot neither my redhead roommate nor dan, who i automatically search for before, during and after classes, as if his presence gives me a sort of emotional support. which it, somewhat, actually does.

to distract me from wondering about their whereabouts, i inspect my surroundings carefully, so my mind wouldn't decide to fret.

normally, our creep of a photography teacher zig turns up late but today's an exception. he's in the hideously tiny studio already, sorting out a pile of papers our department's head, a guy the students call 'joke' because of his amusing last name, had just brought in. the door's still sealed since the lecture starts in only a couple of minutes and zig would never, ever want to spend an extra moment with our course. all teachers tend to hate the media department.

- maybe she's been abducted. you never know with her. she might as well be anywhere. - dodie exclaims in an exaggerated voice, giggling a bit. i give her a small smile, striving to threat her nice.

the truth is, i don't fancy dodie that much. though i can see why the whole world adores her for the girl's such lovable personality and cute looks but to me, she's nothing more than an average person who tries a little too hard to be liked. personally, i think people should just be themselves in public, of course, if they don't have serial killer tendencies or anything along the lines.