Johnyong "What Is This Feeling?"

only for you...

Ten

    My life has become a living hell. When my father came back from his 'year trip' I panicked like never before.

He ruined my life since the start of my existence. But Jisung never met him.

Our father left us when he was only a month old, and when I was 7. He never showed affection or care towards us. I all I knew about him was that he was the guy that left at night and came back swaying from side to side.

     When I turned 4, I discovered that he got drunk every night. But I learned not to care. Until one night he came back angry at losing all his money on games. Not like I cared about him being broke, mom worked hard everyday.

That night he hit my mother, multiple times. She was unconsious. I was really scared, my father wanted to hit me too, but I hid inside Jisung's small closet.

"DON'T ever close this door on me again! When I come back from my year trip you will have to be ready to receive me!" He yelled at me. I stayed in that closet for hours, I was afraid to open the door.

He told me he would be back.

Well, he is back. But he didn't change.

He bursted through that door when Jisung's friends were here.

He kicked me on the stomach, and I screamed in pain. I commanded Jisung to run. He ran outside with his friends, and I hope that they stayed somewhere safe.

My father wanted to chase him down, but he only ran for a couple of minutes before returning. In those minutes I tried packing all Jisung's belongings, even though the pain in my body never left. I probably won't be able to lead the club next week.

     He came back with rage and exhaustion, but he didn't stop there. My father.....I won't call him father he is a monster, that monster tried touching me areas only I can see. I fought him with all my strength but to no avail. Even though he didn't touch me, he was punching and kicking me everywhere on my body.
Everywhere......

     I was left beaten, purple and red were my skin colors. He walked out of the my room and locked me inside.

I cried until I had no air, until my eyes felt empty, until my heart felt heavy and I had no strength.

    When I woke up the door was opened and my clothes were dispersed. I had nothing on me.

He did something, I'm sure of it. But there was no time to cry. I tried moving but everything hurt.

It was the most painful feeling I ever had in all my life.

I only forced the clothes on me slowly and I layed down in my room. But my heart told me to wait inside the living room. I slowly walked to the front corner on the right side of the room, and stayed there in a ball. As if a ball can hide me from this world!

Then someone knocked. I wondered who it could be.

It was Johnny.

I completely forgot about the project!

He doesn't seem to care though. His focus is on me, and I'm very thankful for that. He makes me feel safe. Johnny's warmth around me is the only thing helping me relax.

"Only for you" he said, but those words keep repeating in my head.

Johnny isn't letting go and neither am I.

I don't want to leave him.

'Only for you'

'Only for you'

'Only fo-"who is this, you little #!*?!

And the monster is back.

NCT dream is here to own us! I thought the concept was going to be cute and adorable. BUT NO.......I WAS WRONG ALONG WITH MANY MORE NCTzens! I love their song and style though. It's so GOOD! I'm so proud of them, they've grown so much. Have a good night or day!