Hard To Face Reality | Complete | J.B. | BXB

Chapter 1 - Looking

Chapter 1

Justin's P.O.V.

I stared out of the fogged up window, I watched the icy sheets crawl along the windows and thought about why my mother insisted on me coming home. I really did miss her, but she didn't need to put up with me.
I became aggravated thinking about recent events.
"When will be there Kenny!?" I demanded, immediately regret flooded my face.
"Soon." Kenny groaned.
I wanted to reply, but for the first time in a while I thought about what I was going to say. Instead I just sighed, I didn't have the energy for an argument.

As the large gates squeaked open, I glared up at the large grey building I struggled to call home.
Almost in unison, Kenny and I opened the car doors of the jeep and jumped out into the pouring rain. I pulled my jacket over my head and made the way up to the front door, tripping over my feet in the proccess. I lightly knocked on the door with a tensed fist and pressed the doorbell.
The door swung open and my mother came into view. Her face expressionless.
"Hey baby" she croaked. I fell into her arms. No words were needed I sobbed into her hair. I didn't realize (Real eyes, Real lies; does anyone get this?) how much I needed her until now.

-

I woke up to a quiet creek of my bedroom door as my mother's small frame came into view. I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
"How ya feeling?" she questioned.
"I don't even know anymore." I sighed running a hand through my hair and dropping into my lap lazily. She passed me a glass of water, she carresed my face and brushed my fringe out of my flushed face as she placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Take it" she said with a crooked smile and walked out, closing the door behind her.

I searched through my bag finding a box labeled 'AMITRIPTYLINE'
"Anitdepressents." I whispered to myself brushing my thumb over the lable of the small box. my name was clearly plastered underneath the title, reminding me so much more how un-escapable this situation was.

It hurt that this had become a reality. Stuck up rich kid, he was just a sad over the top drama. My situation honestly felt like a simple plot twist in a corny 'reality' show. How could this, something that seemed like a deadly disease only those with so little could obtain develop in someone with so much. I groaned and popped the pills into my hand, I grasped the frosty glass and slowly chucked back each pill.
I had developed a deadly and indescribable hate for the word, why couldn't they call it something different, at least change the name now. The word Depressed has developed so much baggage and suspicion, society has turned into something it isn't. When we break our arm everyone runs forward to sign the cast but when we say we have depression everyone runs the other way.

I stared at the purple wall across from my bed and sighed.

The door smashed open as Ryan and Chaz crashed across my room onto my bed. I pulled the blanket over my head and buried my head into my pillow.

"Come on Justy we haven't seen you in forever." Chaz pushed my arm "Please" Ryan smiled. I slowly drew myself from the covers. I gave them a small and weak smile. Ryan slowly passed me a silver package; I furrowed my eyebrow in confusion.
"It was supposed to be a birthday gift," Chaz explained.
"But my birthday was two months ago" I stated still confused.
"Well we haven't seen you in six months, you've kinda ditched us for Freddo and that." Ryan rubbed the back of his neck.
"But your here now and that's all that matters" Chaz smirked.
"Think of it as a welcome home present" Ryan put in. They both grinned as I unwrapped the string and pulled off the wrapping. I opened the box to see a purple Baby G watch. I turned to the boys.
"Thanks guys I-" Chaz cut me off.
"Turn it over." I did as told and turned the watch over to see that engraved on the back in cursive handwriting was 'If this person found return to Chaz Somers and Ryan Butler'. I smiled a genuine smile for the first time in forever.
"We're matching" Chaz and Ryan both showed their wrists off. Chaz with a red watch and Ryan a blue. I put the watch on my wrist.
"Now you officially belong to us!" Ryan exclaimed. I reached out and hugged then both creating a three way huddle pulling away I thanked them
"Thanks guys I needed this"