Hard To Face Reality | Complete | J.B. | BXB

Chapter 10 - Secrets

Justin's P.O.V

My eyes fluttered open as the memory of last night reappeared in my mind. I smiled. Staring at the white sealing I wondered what time it was. It was very bright outside; my whole room was glowing with light. I turned my body over to face my bed side table and picked up my phone. 10:26am it read.

I fell back onto my back and groaned my body ached all over I began regretting running last night. But then realized if I hadn't gone running I wouldn't have ended up kissing Zayn. I missed him. A lot. That boy is seriously going to be the death of me. My smile faded.

I realized what had to be done. I had to choose. Zayn or Liam?
Liam was probably the reason I am how I am right now. And Zayn, he's the person who made me realize who I really am. The guy I bumped into, the guy who set my heart on fire. He saved me from myself. He changed my hateful thoughts to good. He's so spontaneous and kind he's proven to me that he will be here whether he needs to be or not.

I was never sure how to arrange my thoughts, my feelings. He was like my personal filing cabinet teaching that my feelings should come before my depression. To organize the good thoughts before the bad. To be happy. He filled the dark hole within me; he's my missing puzzle piece.

The piece I have been searching for so long when that piece was right in front of me and I didn't realize until it hit me in the face, literally.
Then right at that moment, it hit me, I was telling myself all this and didn't even realize. I am in love with Zayn, not Liam.

I dragged my aching body out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I peeled my clothes off my body and stepped into the shower. As the hot water ran over my aching muscles I couldn't shake the thought of Zayn and Liam out of my head. It hurt to think that I was only with Liam because he was my first or because he saved my life in more ways than one. Is that really a reason to lie to a person? To say you love them, when you don't.

After I had showered put on some sweat pants and a black shirt with a skull on it and tried to make my hair look descent. I grabbed my phone from where it had been charging and planted myself on the couch. I put the TV on the music channel and began scrolling through twitter and shots following and liking fan's posts.

I began staring at the hotel room phone, thinking about ordering food I was pretty hungry. I picked up the hotel phone on the table and dialed the number off the piece of paper sitting on the table. After ordering the first item on the menu some pasta dish, I slumped back on the couch. I picked up my phone once again thinking I should go on my private Facebook account. I posted a couple photos of me and the boys the other day and wrote a status. "In Rome with these guys <3" I pressed post when a knock came from my door. Wow that was quick. I forced myself of the couch and went to the door. I was starving.

I walked up to the door and opened it. Zayn stood at the door with genuine smile. I chuckled and ran my hand through my hair.
"Zayn? Um hey." I said a little confused as to why he was here. He walked in the door and shut it behind him. Still standing near the door he stared into my eyes. Putting me in a trance he put his hands on my hips and smiled at me. I bit my lower lip and stared at his beautiful plump lips, longing for the sweet taste of them. My lips smashed into his as I pushed him up against the wall and continued to kiss him passionately.

He bit my lip asking making me gasp in surprise, allowing him access to my mouth, our tongues danced a sweet tango. Zayn pulled away and searched my eyes. He held my head in his hands I bit my lip smiling. I lifted my hand and grabbed his shirt smashing my lips back onto his missing the taste already.

"Fuck" he muttered in between kisses. I chuckled into the kiss and pulled away.
"Couch." I said breathlessly. Zayn instantly pulled me over towards the couch. He pushed me onto the couch and fell on top of me making our crotches brush against each other, Zayn moaned and I smiled. As I began kissing Zayn again tugging on his shirt probably stretching it, a knock came from the door. Zayn sat up on top of me and groaned in frustration. A guilty look swept over my face. He looked at me a little angry and frustrated at the same time. I smiled innocently.

"I may or may not have ordered room service." I said biting my lip. Zayn plunked himself down next to me spooning me from one side. I looked at him and smiled then yelled right in his face.
"Coming!" I yelled. I pulled myself away from him prying his arms off of my body. I stood up and walked towards the door looking back at Zayn who was still in the position I left him in, his bottom lip was sticking out pouting. I shook my head and opened the door.

A man stood at the door holding a plate I couldn't see what it was as it had a metal cover on it.
"Mr. Bieber?" he asked. I nodded .He handed me the tray it was on and smiled
"Thanks." I said.
"Si" he said smiling and walking off with a trolley full of other food, I shrugged. I juggled the tray while trying to close the door. When suddenly Zayn grabbed the tray from my hands.

"Need some help." He said chuckling and grabbing the tray, I smiled. I finished closing the door and gave him a peck on the lips grabbing the tray from his hands and making my way over to the table.
While I sat eating my food at the table Zayn sat across from me doing something on his phone. He looked up from his phone and smiled at me staring into my eyes.
"What?" I said lifting my shoulders then stuffed another mouthful of food in my mouth.

"I just can't believe your mine, you're so adorable." He said chuckling. I dropped my head. He didn't know I haven't broken up with Liam yet. I had been getting constant texts and calls from him but I ignored them. And it kills me to think I could ruin their friendship.
"Zayn. I haven't broken up with Liam yet. I'm sorry, I just can't be that jerk who breaks up with him over the phone. I have to do it face to face. And I don't even know how he will respond when I say I'm leaving him for his best friend." I said dropping my fork and taking Zayn's hands in mine.
"Okay..." Zayn said with a sad look on his face.

"Just for a little while longer I might fly to London then home and brake up with him then." I said. His face stayed frozen. "We still have to keep this on the down low, I know your fans know your gay but mine don't. Actually you and the boys are the only ones who know. I still have to tell Scooter and my parents and friends. I'm sorry, you just have to let me figure things out." Zayn thought for a moment.

"I don't kno-"I cut him off before he could say anything else and laid a soft kiss on his lips. He pulled away smiling. "Okay, fine." He said biting his lip. I stood up from the table and grabbed his hand.
"Now where we?" I said pulling him away.

Niall's P.O.V

I lay on my bed staring at the roof thinking about everything. Lexi, our babies and our perfect little family. I imagined two little Lexi's and two little me's or one of each. It was crazy to think in 7 months two mini versions of us were going to arrive, and that our lives were going to change in an instant from being two, easy breezy, twenty year olds, to two young parents with twins to care for.

I wondered how I was going to do it, balancing being a parent and continuing with my career. Maybe the babies could come with us on tour or maybe we could get a nanny. Either way I was going to be there for these kids. I wasn't going to be a dead beat father. I was going to be there.

My mind began to wander to when I was younger and I had first met Lexi we were 10 and she was telling of some boy in the playground because he had made fun of her and her friend, Sean. I had laughed at them and I remember Alexis storming over to me and asking if it was funny. I said it was and we started talking and later we progressed to being best friends.

Lexi and I had only reunited about 3 years ago after One Direction took off into becoming 'International Superstars'. We started dating and things got serious, she came on tour with us and came to our shows and even to some of our interviews. We were connected at the hip until about 3 months ago when Lexi left tour to go home for a funeral (she never said who for) and never really returned to the tour.

My mind began to wander when my phone buzzed in my pocket, I pulled it out and looked at the screen. One new message from Alexis 'We really need to talk, its important.' The message said. My heart sunk what could she want to talk about so badly.