Hard To Face Reality | Complete | J.B. | BXB

Chapter 14 - All out

Zayn’s P.O.V

“Well, while there’s drama in the air anyone got anything else to tell me?” Simon asked jokingly. I stared at my hands I couldn’t possibly tell them now, not after all that. Could I? I shook of the thought immediately. I couldn’t possibly bring up something like this yet. I have to tell my Mum first, although I think she’s suspected it for a while now. I thought about going home to my family when Liam interrupted my thoughts, shit.

“Well um... is there any way I could talk to Simon alone guys?” Liam asked. I knew what he was going to talk about with Simon, Justin. A flash of guilt ran through me as I got up from the table.

“Yeah, sure I got to get back to Lexi anyway.” Niall spoke awkwardly.

“Yeah we have a meeting to plan.” Said Harry guiding Louis out of the room. I coughed and picked up my phone.

“Yeah, I uh…have somewhere to be anyway.” I said following the others out the door as I remembered my date with Justin. I felt so guilty doing all this stuff behind peoples backs. Liam must hate me so much by now, but for some reason he hadn’t acted weird about. Did Justin tell Liam about us? Liam did seem sad, which is most likely because Justin broke up with him at lunch, but what about us? Does Justin not want to hurt Liam? Is he doing it for me? Is he ashamed of our relationship?

- 

It took me a much longer amount of time than I would have thought to get to Justin’s hotel there seemed to be a traffic jam and I couldn’t ask the taxi driver because he barely spoke English.

I stood in front of the hotel room that belonged to Justin. I sighed, this hotel is beautiful, although I’m not surprised only the best for my Justin. It felt so guilty calling him mine. Even in my head. And I didn’t know why. I slowly lifted my fist to the door and gave it a light nock. Ten seconds later a sleepy Justin opened the door.

“Hey babe, did I wake you?” I asked feeling guilty.

“It’s ok, I was just sleeping off the jet lag and stuff. Are you ok? You look a little shaken up.” Justin asked concerned leaning on the door frame.

“Yeah, no I’m fine just had a pretty eventful meeting is all.” I said smiling, I couldn’t help staring at his lips missing the taste of them badly.

“Alright… well…” Justin mumbled smirking. I glanced around to see if anyone was around. I slowly began to lean in as I knelt my head on his. Still standing in the door way, I slowly but sweetly began kissing him and it felt so right until I heard a quiet voice behind us speak.

“Justin?” I turned around broken Liam standing behind us, he turned around and ran off.

“Shit” Justin mumbled as he raced off after him. I groaned as I leant against the wall and slipped down to the ground. I put my head in my knees as tears of guilt began to stream down my face.

I just lost my best friend forever.

Justin’s P.O.V

I ran around the corner of the hall way, right behind Liam.

“Liam! Liam just stop!” I pleaded after him, grabbing his arm bringing him to a stop. He turned to face me tears streaming down his puffy weakened face.

“Why? Why should I stop?” he said pulling away from me. “Justin you are the reason this happened.” He said yelling at me. I sighed glad we were the only ones in the quant hallway this was a private death sentence. I stared into his eyes. My heart filled, filled with the guilt of breaking someone so strong so important to me. An impulse took over me and I pulled him into a hug. I breathed a sharp breath that almost hurt. As he continued to sob into my shoulder. As the tears demanded to fall down my face. My chest felt as though I was lying on the ground and someone was standing on my windpipe, a feeling that couldn’t disappear. I thought the person standing on my windpipe was Liam in this phantom that had taken over my thoughts but it wasn’t, I wasn’t angry at Liam. Zayn was the one crushing my ribs with the forbidden love hidden behind his shadowed face.

I slowly breathed in and out trying to lose the crushing feeling that the phantom had created. I slowly raised my hand to my shoulder wear Liam’s head was located. I began to stroke his hair.

“Liam, I don’t want to apologise, because no words could make up for what I’ve done to you. I love you Liam and it’s not the way you want me to.” I sighed as yet another sob escaped Liam’s mouth, the tears threatened to fall, to splash of the tips of my eyelashes but nothing came, my body paralysed with fear. “It’s the best I can do. Liam your my best friend, your my saviour, my angel. Liam you changed the person I am. You gave me purpose. You chose to love me you weren’t forced to.” Liam slowly pulled away from me, still within arm’s reach. I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Liam I love Zayn. And I never understood how much loving someone can take over a person. And I never doubted your loyalty or your love to me. I seriously thought you were the one. Liam the only thing in the world I could ever do is say. I am so thankful, so thankful that you saved me from myself in more ways than one. You showed me who I am.” I felt the tears that had finally began to fall down my face trickling down my neck. This made feel even more vulnerable. He closed his eyes briefly and wiped his face on his sleeve. He gathered himself together packing hypothetical bags and leaving his key on the table.

“I’m sorry Justin.” He croaked pushing past me walking in the direction of the elevator. I closed my eyes facing away from him and waited until I heard the final click of the doors closing, I sighed. I began walking back towards my room. I tried to gather myself together as I walked I wiped my face and tried to fix my hair readying myself for a completely different issue I knew I had to face.

I turned the corner and saw Zayn curled up on the floor next to my door. I walked towards him and sat down next to him. I chuckled and Zayn lifted his head in confusion.

“I’m pretty sure we have been in this position before.” I said smiling and rubbing his leg. I was glad he had stopped crying.

“He’s never going to forgive me.” Zayn said frowning. I bit my lip as I lifted my hand to his face. I held his cheek in my hand and wiped a stray tear away with my thumb.

“He’ll come around, it will just take time. I mean remember how long it took you to get over…..Her” I said trailing off. I felt guilty bringing her up. Zayn took my hand from his face and held it in his. He glanced up for a moment and laid a soft kiss on my hand.  I knelt my forehead against his. “I’ll love you forever and ever.” I said gnawing on the inside of my check. He began to intertwine his hand with mine.

“For ever and ever.” He whispered back. Placing a lurking soft kiss on my lips. He pushed our hands against my chest. I pulled away and smiled biting my lip. I stood up and held my hand out to help him up, which he gladly took.  He chuckled as I led him into my room slamming the door behind us.