Sitting beside Daniel, with my body enjoying his electrifying touch, I ached to know everything there was to know about him. I sensed that there were some celestial secrets that he wasn't allowed to share, but I wanted to find out everything I could about my sexy guardian angel.
"Do you have a family?" I asked him, jumping right back in with my probing questions.
"Not a family like you're used to," he started. "We all share a Father, right?" He grinned down at me. At my nod of acknowledgement, he went on. "I also have mentors that helped train me when I was an apprentice. I can still go to them when I have questions or serious issues."
"Did you talk to them about me?" I asked him. As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized it was presumptuous to assume that I would be a big enough deal for him to discuss with his mentors, but I couldn't help hoping that he might have sought their advice about his feelings for me.
"No!" Daniel had the audacity to laugh as if that were the most preposterous idea he had ever heard, which cut me to the core. I tried not to let the pain show on my face, but I must have been unsuccessful, because he clarified, "They would not be at all receptive to me starting a relationship with a human... chimps, remember?"
"Right," I nodded, "How could I forget that your kind views mine as primates."
"Some of my kind," he amended for me, before adding, "The only one who knows anything about my feelings for you is my best friend."
"Oh?" I felt intrigued wondering what the two of them might have discussed about me. "What is he like?"
"She." Daniel informed me, and an instant, hot burst of jealousy surged through me. The smile I had plastered on my face must have been convincing because Daniel went on as if I weren't irrationally seething just beneath the surface. "Serafina is funny, smart, witty, and so fun to hang out with."
The envy that had been bubbling angrily threatened to boil over as he praised his best friend. I knew that I had no right to be jealous, but that knowledge did nothing to contain the feelings.
Making a feeble attempt to cover my jealous reaction, I said, "Serafina is such a pretty name." This was the truth. I had always thought it was a lovely moniker. Now, however, the sound of it was like fingernails on a chalkboard to my ears.
Even though I knew I probably wouldn't like the answer, and it most likely wasn't in my best interest to bring it up, I heard myself ask, "Is she beautiful?"
"Oh, yes," Daniel gushed, making me want to gag.
"She probably warned you away from me, huh?" I was sure that she had. After all, it was in Daniel's best interest to steer clear of me. What kind of best friend would she be if she didn't warn him to stay away from me?
"She did," he admitted, finally having the sense to look somewhat sheepish. Tilting his head to catch my eyes with his glimmering gaze, he added, "But I didn't listen, did I?"
He looked so proud of himself for shifting the tone of the conversation. "No, you didn't listen," I beamed at him, deciding that he was here with me and ignoring beautiful, smart, funny, angelic Serafina's advice, so I should simply enjoy it. The urge to question him further about her was strong, but I suppressed it.
Feeling that it was best to change the subject, I asked him, "Do you spend all of your time on Earth?" I wanted to know if there was a Heaven, and if he ever went there, but I sensed that might be more than he could share.
"Most of it," he answered vaguely. I stayed silent, waiting for him to elaborate, until he finally did. "When my charge is asleep, I am free to go home, take care of any of my own needs, visit with friends, and live my own life."
I had been wondering when he had time to see other angels, so his response clarified that. "So, you don't ever sleep?"
"Nope, although sometimes it would be nice to just shut down and check out for a little bit. I've tried meditation, but I usually only last for about five minutes. My mind seems to kick into high gear when I'm supposed to be focusing on relaxing."
"Mine too," I revealed, although his knowing nod in response reminded me that he was already aware of my issues with falling asleep. "It seems so strange that you have been around for my entire life." I uttered the thought out loud.
"I rarely leave you, even when you're sleeping," he admitted, making my eyes dart to face him.
"Why not?" Some mysterious part of me liked the idea that he rarely left my side, even when he was permitted to do so.
"I like being with you. There isn't anything I would rather do than spend time with you, even when you're conked out." His words made a rush of warmth spread through me. "You are more than just a job to me––so much more."
I wanted to tell him how much he already meant to me, but it seemed too soon. He had known me my entire life, but I had just met him. The feelings that were surging in me didn't make sense. They couldn't be real, could they?
Taking the safe route, rather than fessing up about my illogical feelings, I continued my questioning of him. "Do you get a break between assignments?" It didn't seem fair that he would have to constantly be working.
"Not unless I need to," he told me. "Once in a while, I'll grow attached to a particularly endearing charge and need a little sojourn before jumping back in to take care of someone new."
I felt deflated to hear that he had grown attached to other humans. It had felt phenomenal to feel special for a little while.
As if sensing where my thoughts had immediately gone, Daniel clarified, "I've never before felt a fraction of the tenderness I feel for you. I'll probably need a couple of years off after my assignment with you ends."
He had worded it tactfully, but I knew that he was referring to when I die. That thought sent a chill down my spine, despite the newly-refreshed warmth that was glowing inside my belly at his verification that I was truly special to him.
Knowing that he probably couldn't tell me much, but longing to know, I asked, "Will I become like you when this life ends?"
He shook his head, giving me the answer I dreaded, without verbalizing it.
I had tried to keep the hope that I might someday be able to be with Daniel at bay, but the disappointment that filled me indicated I hadn't done a very good job of it. His silence on the topic made me begin to wonder if my afterlife might be something to be frightened of. I had never given the idea of my own death much thought. Suddenly, it seemed like something to truly dread.
Daniel was more tuned in to my emotions than anyone else I had ever met. He sensed the shift in me when I began to worry about what would happen when I died, and immediately worked to alleviate my concerns. "Your afterlife won't be bad," He promised. "It's nothing to be frightened of. In fact, it will be amazing beyond anything you can even begin to imagine. But, no, you won't become an angel."
I felt relieved that I didn't face a future of fire and brimstone or simply ceasing to exist, but also disappointed that I couldn't face that future as Daniel's peer. "So, you'll move on to taking care of someone else, and I'll morph into some other existence?" I guessed.
"Something like that," Daniel nodded. The pained expression on his face made it obvious that he wanted to tell me more, but couldn't.
I didn't like seeing his face twisted into a mask of pain. Needing to do anything I could to alleviate it, I said, "Sounds like we better enjoy the here and now, then."
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Wings on Fire ~ Falling (Book 1)
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