"Why though?" I asked, surprisingly keeping an even keel.
"Because we're wasting our time, not doing each other any good..." she trailed off, not making eye contact with me.
"But... But I thought, we were, like, uh..." I struggled to find the right words.
"Hunter, did we really love each other? I think it was more fascination than anything."
I raised my eyebrows.
"We hardly spent that much time getting to know each other! We just kinda... went! I don't know! And obviously when there was any strain on the relationship, it didn't go well," she said, frustrated.
"I told you I wasn't trying to push you away! I was just busy!"
"We pretended to be much more committed than we actually were. That's the truth, Hunter. There isn't any point in denying it."
I huffed, and thought for a moment. It was true that we jumped really quickly and probably feigned commitment -- at least I did, as evidenced by the tour quickly overpowering anything that had to do with Christy (which I felt horrible about) -- but I really thought I was starting to fall for her.
And I wondered if she really hadn't been for me.
"Were you, uh, faking commitment?" I asked cautiously.
She sighed.
"I didn't feel committed, Hunt. We never saw each other, and the spark was, er, is, just... gone I guess," she said.
I sighed, and ran my hands through my hair once.
"I'm sorry this didn't work out," she said.
"I am too."
Silence.
"We need to spend time apart," she finally stated.
I nodded.
"Get better. And, um, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you..." I said, trailing off and suddenly feeling overwhelmed with guilt and a hint of sadness. The lump in my throat prevented me from finishing.
"I forgive you," she said weakly.
I reached for her hand, and she took it softly. I gave it a simple squeeze, nodded, and made for the door.
She, again, didn't stop me.
I saw her parents outside the hospital room. They looked at me somewhat expectantly.
I shook my head, and they gave me a sympathetic nod, standing and approaching me.
Her mom, Lorraine, gave me a quick hug.
"I'm sorry. It was a pleasure to meet you, though," she said.
I nodded. "You as well."
Calvin and I shook hands, and I headed down to my car.
Hours later, feeling somewhat numb and still in the car, I was driving in the rain through the outskirts of Nashville.
There were not many other cars on the road and, subsequently, I was paying very little attention.
Then there was a big bump, and I narrowly missed spinning. I slammed on the brakes and skidded to a halt on the side of the road.
Hopping out of the car, I turned and started to walk back to see what it was I'd hit.
Looking across the highway, there was not evidence of roadkill or anything of the sort. I stood in the rain for a few moments and scratched my head. Taking a few steps forward to ponder a bit longer, I stepped on something.
I picked up an oddly shaped piece of metal or plastic material.
I flipped it over in my hands a few times to try to figure out what exactly it was.
My eyes grew wide when I realized it was a piece of my old wrecked tour bus.
And suddenly, the flood of emotion and irony came down harder than the downpour that was ever intensifying.
