Neverland's Angel

Chapter 14

Darkness That was what she had remembered last. Now her mind was groggy and slow, making it hard to produce any coherent thoughts. Her body however had no problems demanding her immediate attention. Her throat was dry and burning all the way down to her lungs as if she had just swallowed lava and her tongue was now coated in the leftover ashes. That wasn't the worst of it however, all her limbs felt as heavy as lead, yet the skin covering them sent searing stabs of pain throughout her entire being. She had never experienced pain like this. It was so relentless that she didn't even dare try to move, speak, or even open her eyes. Staying still seemed like the best choice. However this plan was ruined by a steady rocking motion. Her entire body was slowly rocking back and forth, back and forth over and over again. That's when her foggy brain decided to remind her that she was previously being drowned by a pack of vicious mermaids. The waves. Her mind deduced that the gentle swaying must be the waves of the ocean carrying her lifeless body towards the shore. It was the same push and pull of the tide.Whatever is cast out into the sea will always be returned to land. She had heard that somewhere though her muddled brain couldn't quite remember where. Nor did she really care to remember really. She was sure she was as good as dead and this was just the aftershocks. She wasn't really sure what happened to people after they died. Did their spirits linger around a little while? Maybe her soul would stick around until someone found her body or until she was properly buried. Then maybe she could finally be at peace. After all she did die rather violently now that she thought about it. Maybe she was now a ghost; re-living her tragic death over and over again like those residual hauntings those ghost buster wannabes always claim are real. She really didn't want to think about re-living being drowned. It was bad enough the first time around. It wasn't so bad being carried on the waves though, if not for the screaming agonizing pain that only seemed to intensify with every second. She liked it better before when she was numb and sinking to the bottom of the ocean. But bodies always float back up to the surface. 
She was content to just lie there; not thinking too deeply about anything but the pain coursing through her veins, when suddenly it was as if sound itself was returning to her. She heard a low steady stream of humming vibrating somewhere near her ears, though she couldn't make sense of it. The back and forth rocking continued only now she could hear the lapping of the waves. And as she were beginning to pay attention to these details, all her other senses decided to wake up as well. She were freezing cold and shivering all over. She were still soaking wet and her hair clung to her scalp in wet dripping patches. She still felt like she was sinking as well, only it felt wrong. The substance she were in didn't have the consistency of water though it was thick and moveable like it. She also realized that she wasn't lying down horizontally like she had originally thought. Instead she was in a sitting position with her butt on a surface, her legs limply outstretched in front of her as her upper half was propped up against something solid and hard. There was something warm wrapped around her too. It emanated heat to her back and torso like a really great heated blanket. That's not right, her inner conscious said. Though her brain felt like it was covered in thick molasses and cotton she still had enough of her right mind to realize that she was no longer in the water and she was more than likely not dead yet either. Alarm started to slowly creep its way into her shut down system and it stirred her to try and open her eyes. Even though it hurt just to breathe she somehow managed to open her impossibly heavy eyelids. Her eyes immediately stung from the sea salt of the ocean. Instant tears flooded her vision and swept away the abrasive salt from her eyes. When her field of vision cleared she still saw darkness, but it wasn't the inky blackness of the unconsciousness. What she saw was more of a deep blue so dark it was almost a mix between purple and black, yet it was dotted with thousands of tiny specks of white. Stars. Yes, it was the night sky above her that she was looking at. That meant she had to be alive! Joy spread through her heart instantly at the thought. When she was drowning she hadn't minded the thought of dying, but now that her mind was coming off the numb feeling of artificial sleepiness she realized just how much she had wanted to live and how fiercely glad she was that she had somehow managed to survive. Senses having returned in full force now she could easily deduce that the burning in her esophagus and lungs was from being deprived of oxygen for so long and possibly from inhaling a bit of ocean water. Her limbs felt like lead because she had used up every ounce of strength she had trying to fend off the mermaids and the searing pains coming from her skin was most likely from all the ruthless scratches and punches dealt to her flesh courtesy of murderess mermaids.A flop of mussed up auburn hair fell into her vision as the sound she previously thought was a vibrating hum came into perfect clarity. "She's awake! Thank God you're awake!" Peter's baritone voice cried out, only instead of it's usual velvet smoothness it was now raspy and choked sounding. His hands curled more securely around her tiny body; crushing her to him even more. Peter was holding her; her back was to his chest and he kept rocking her back and forth whispering semi-unintelligible things in-between planting fevered kisses on her wet head. Her arms hung uselessly at her sides and when she tried to wiggle her fingers she came to the realization that the mystery substance she thought she sitting on was really Peter's hand. She blinked slowly and glanced around seeing that she were still in Mermaid Lagoon. By the looks of it she was carried to shore, probably to resuscitate her judging by the intense soreness coming from the middle of her chest. She wouldn't be surprised to see a bruise there later. Peter kept rocking her and saying things she couldn't quite make out. It was difficult and she had to try twice, but she finally managed to push through the pain to croak out a small breathy, "Peter." She wanted to say more, but that was the best she could do with her throat feeling like it was on fire. Peter stopped rocking and whispered close to her ear so she could hear, "I thought I had lost you." In just that simple sentence she heard so many things. He sounded almost terrified, desperate, and coming from any other man she might have thought broken. She tried to clear her throat to comfort him, but when she opened her mouth no sound would come out. It was a task just to swallow. Instead she pushed her useless arms up and managed to rest them on his thumb that were holding her close to him. That was the best  she could manage. You both sat there in silence and rocked in the frigid midnight air for a few moments. The less she had to do the better. Not moving on her own proved to be the best way to cope with all the injuries her body had been recently inflicted with. She wasn't really sure what had made Peter go quiet though. He had stopped muttering things and now had his head nuzzling her body. She let the silence stretch on for awhile until she felt the need to say something. So she forced her damaged throat to work again and barely managed to gasp out, "Thank you." It came out weak and shaky and it didn't at all have half the feeling she wanted it to, but she hoped Peter got the message. Peter went still again only every muscle in his entire body seemed to tense. After a few heartbeats of strained silence he finally answered softly, "Don't thank me." He sounded as if he was about to say more, but his voice caught and stuck in his throat. She worried he too had inhaled some sea water when he saved her. Though it aggravated the cuts and sores on her arms she brushed her hands over the muscles of his forearms in a soothing gesture. This seemed to have the opposite effect because his embrace tightened even more to the point of being crushingly painful. "Peter," she choked out trying to tell him he was beginning to hurt her, but he cut her off with a rasping inhale of breath before saying, "I almost lost you. You were drowning and I almost couldn't save you." His words came out in a rushing whisper and it took her brain a few seconds to register them. Peter saved me... "I'm so sorry. Oh, God I'm so sorry," he breathed against her cold skin; his beautiful voice thick with remorse. Her back was still firmly pressed to his chest so she couldn't see his expression. "Peter?" her ravaged throat croaked. Though it was only one word, like always, Peter instantly understood what she meant. He took in a ragged breath before answering. "I have you." The Lost Boys were all gathered around a sopping wet Peter. A jagged, but relieved sigh escaped her lips when she saw that he looked okay. Well, physically He looked okay for the most part, but mentally was a different matter. Peter stopped and took in another choked breath. His heart was pounding in a fast thudding rhythm against her back. "It wasn't until we all came back that we noticed you were gone..." Peter's voice trailed off. His hard chest seemed to constrict with the emotions he was trying to fight off. She decided to wait patiently for him to compose himself and continue on with the story. Peter. She should have known he'd be the first one to notice her absence. After saving his life, he had now saved hers. They were both even now. Peter managed to find his voice again and continued on after wrapping his long fingers around her body in his hand. "When we noticed you were gone we instantly searched the bushes and that's when we found your tracks. That's when we heard them." Peter said them like it was the foulest curse word on the planet. There was so much scorn and hatred in that one word. It held the same amount of malice. "As soon as we heard the singing we knew you'd be drawn to it, without knowing what we know. That's the siren song. When the mermaids sing it lures people into their trap. As soon as they enter the water the mermaids drown them. I knew they would try to kill you. I ran as fast as I could, but by the time I got to the lagoon you weren't there. So I jumped in without thinking. I saw them circling you like sharks. Luckily I fought them off. I hope they stay gone." The cold viciousness to that last statement compelled her to turn her head to look up at him. The angle wasn't the best and all she could catch was his profile but it was enough. His jaw was clenched so tight she could see a muscle twitching at the side. His rich brown eyes were staring at the distant waves, completely bereft of all their usual warmth. He still held her, but he might as well have been carved of marble as lifeless as he was. He had completely shut down again. Only this time it was much worse than just the grief of losing someone he cared about. He was blaming himself for this. She took a harsh swallow to prepare to re-assure him it wasn't his fault, but he continued the story as if he was talking to no one. "The boys caught up with me just as I was carrying you out of the water. You were so still I thought..." He didn't finish that sentence. He didn't have to. You knew what he had thought. "I talked to you, but you weren't breathing," Peter's voice faded so softly on that last word that it broke her heart. Just when she thought she couldn't possibly hurt worse, seeing him so wounded like this made all her injuries feel like minor paper cuts in comparison. He breathed in deeply before speaking again, "Luckily Slightly can maintain his cool through any situation. He immediately pushed us all out of the way and when he bent down to perform mouth to mouth on you, I almost killed him before I realized what it was he was really doing. It took a few hard chest compressions before you coughed up that salt water and began to breathe on your own. I tried to talk to you and wake you, but you wouldn't open your eyes. Slightly said you might stay unconscious for awhile until the oxygen could restart your brain. We didn't know how long you had been in the water so he didn't know if...well if you wouldn't be...brain damaged." On the last two words Peter's statue like façade crumbled and tears trickled slowly from his eyes to trail down his cheeks. So he had to deal with having to fish her lifeless body out of the ocean (naturally assuming the worst), then after watching her be resuscitated have to wait until she came around to see if she would be brain damaged for the rest of her life. God, the things he had suffered through today had been worse then anything she had ever gone through.  He looked down at her then and her heart splintered when they locked gazes. His big brown eyes that were always so full of confidence with a slight spark of playful mischief were now filled with self loathing and all consuming guilt. He looked so utterly...broken. Her own eyes began to fill with tears at the sight and before she could make a sound he held her in a tender hug just under his chin. "I promised to protect you. I never should have let you out of my sight. I'm so sorry. You don't know how sorry." Though he was apologizing fervently she could tell that he wasn't asking for her forgiveness. He didn't think he deserved it. He'd never forgive himself for this and it wasn't even his fault! It was her fault! She were the one who went traipsing off on her own without having any clue of her surroundings. She got herself into this mess and she was just about to tell him so when lifted his head to where his lips were gently resting against the cuff of her ear. "If you die," he whispered, "so do I."As soon as the words left his lips they traveled through her ears straight down her throat only to come slamming right into her battered heart; fracturing it into a thousand glittering pieces. "No!" she gasped as tears streamed down her face. The motions of crying made her throat burn like molten lava again and all the bones in her chest ached cutting into her air supply, but she didn't care. The pain in her heart over-rode all other feeling. "No! It's not your fault Peter!" she cried out again forcing her lungs to keep working. "My fault! Not Yours, mine!" each word was an intense battle between her and her protesting body. She wasn't sure how much more punishment she could put it through before it forced her to pass out from the pain so she began yelling incoherently in broken sentences, hoping that he would know what she was trying to tell him. "I left... got lost...was stupid...not your fault." she sounded sad, but it was all she could croak out. She began to feel incredibly nauseous and her vision began to swim in a wave of sudden dizziness. She was pushing it and now she was tip toeing the edge of unconsciousness.  Alarmed Peter released his hold on her and gently eased her down to lie on the soft sand. "It's okay, don't talk just rest." He said; his voice heavy with worry. She closed her eyes and forced herself to take deep even breaths. The dizziness slowly abated but her stomach still was giving threatening heaves. She had to hang on until he truly realized that it wasn't his fault. "Slightly!" Peter yelled out frantically.  She reached out her hand trying to touch him. He instantly caught hers and enveloped it in his. "Don't speak, don't even move, just stay still. Everything's going to be alright. I'm right here okay?" her stomach felt like it was trying to make its way to her throat so she decided to listen to him and not move. Keeping her eyes firmly shut she concentrated only on her breathing. Inhale....and exhale. she repeated this pattern over and over for what felt like a very long time. At some point she vaguely registered that she was being lifted and carried with her body resting on someone's chest. She suspected Peter's but the sudden change from horizontal to vertical made the tidal wave of dizziness come back in full force to crash against her skull, sending her straight back into that awful blackness of unconsciousness.