Neverland's Angel

Chapter 16

Peter's bedroom was a place where time seemed to have no meaning. There were no clocks or windows to clue her into the passages of time. Nor was there an hourglass filled with cascading sand to make her aware of all the moments that had gone by. They both stayed there wrapped in each other's company for what could have been hours or merely minutes. Neither of them had felt the need to fill the air with speech. Both of them seemed perfectly content to just stand still along with the time.  It was oddly peaceful just standing there on her knees wrapped up in Peter's embrace without a care in the world. Her mind was still coming off of the wonderful glow that Peter's confession of love had given her. After some time though her knees began to cramp and she fell back on her butt in his hand. Instant concern filled Peter's soft eyes, but she assured him she was perfectly fine. He didn't seem too convinced, but he conceded defeat as soon as she motioned to the mattress. He obliged and she instinctively rested her head against his chest. He was really too big for them to directly cuddle eachother normally but she was happy to just be leaning on him. After everything that had happened she needed to feel that he was really solid and really real. Peter didn't seem to mind and he took her almost microscopic hand in his calloused one and held it firmly, as if he too was afraid this might all be somehow imaginary. After some time sitting in companionable silence she languidly swept her eyes around the room and saw the tray of forgotten food and drink on the worn wooden dresser.  The sight of the mundane accessory faded the fuzzy glow from her brain, and riding on it's absence was the sharp edge of the reality of current events. As her mind cleared itself of cobwebs and came into focus she shifted her gaze down to her bare arms. They should have been bruised and marred, but there wasn't a single trace left of the damage that had been dealt by the treacherous mermaids. Her skin was soft and supple to the touch and it radiated a healthy luminescence from within. It was as if she had just gotten back from an expensively lavish spa. Her brutally traumatized esophagus and lungs breathed easily without any strain. Nothing hurt. And that was the problem. "Peter, what happened after I passed out on the shore?" Peter's body went rigid for a second at the suddenness of her question, but it relaxed as he let out a loud exhale in defeat. "After you passed out I flew you here immediately. Slightly followed close behind and put medicine on all of your wounds, but he said it wouldn't be enough; you were bleeding a lot from the deep lacerations from where the mermaids had scratched you. On top of which your throat and lungs had suffered badly from you almost suffocating. You had swallowed a lot of salt water on top of which. So Slightly had the idea to send The Twins to Pixie Hollow to ask for their help. The Twins pleaded to the Pixie Courts and they agreed to help us," Peter had a sardonic smile playing on his lips when he continued, "Although it wasn't because of the goodness of their tiny hearts. The only way The Twins could get them to help you was by telling them that if I lost you, it'd break me, and then Captain Hook would have free reign over all of Neverland. Your survival meant all of Neverland's survival." She felt a wry smile tug her lips as she said, "That was very clever of them." Peter reached up with his free hand and ran the back of his fingers ever so gently down her cheek. "No," he said, "That was very honest of them." Alarmed by this she opened her mouth to speak, but Peter held up his hand to stop hee. "Like it or not it's the truth of the situation. But more importantly back to the story." She narrowed her eyes at him, unhappy of the very thought of Peter's indomitable spirit ever breaking, especially over her. Peter however ignored her silent brooding and continued on in a serious hushed tone of voice, "So the healing pixies came and they spent a long time covering you in their dust. You looked..." Peter's voice trailed off as his face shut down as it so often did when he was struggling to suppress his emotions. "I looked dead didn't I?" she finished for him gently. Peter shook his head in agreement. He found his voice again, but it was deeper with emotion than before, "The pixie dust fell all around you like a blanket of dying stars. Their lights would twinkle and then fade out, leaving you on what looked like a bed of ashes. Laying there you looked so...fragile....like a broken doll that was left out in the rain." She felt the muscles of Peter's hands flex around her body. Looking up into his face she could see that his warm brown eyes were far off, lost in the memory. His beautiful face suddenly looked worn and haunted. The sight broke her heart. She reached up and rubbed his chest, gently guiding his head back to look at her. "But I'm not a doll and I'm not broken as you can see." Peter's eyes came back from the past and focused on her in front of him. His eyes swept over her face. A sad smile played across his plush lips, "Thank all that is holy for that. Anyways long story short the pixies spent hours healing you and thanks to them and Slightly's medicine you recovered without so much as a scratch. When the pixies left Slightly said that it was just a waiting game after that. You would sleep until your body was well enough to wake itself. So we waited for three days and then you awoke."  "Three days! Was I really out that long?" she cried out in disbelief. Peter just nodded at her as his large hand came down to take her smaller one in his fingers. It sure hadn't felt like three days... Peter gave her fingers a quick squeeze as his as the pad of his thumb traced soft swirling patters on the back of her hand. Peter's voice when he spoke again was deep and raw as he said, "I guess it was all of us that saved you in the end. If we hadn't noticed you went missing you'd probably be dead now. And if it weren't for Slightly's knowledge of medicine and quick thinking I'd never have thought of going to the pixies for help. And of course if it hadn't been for the Twins making your case to the Pixie Courts then they'd never have helped us otherwise. Cubby spent the entire time in the kitchen boiling hot rags to put on your skin to keep you from hypothermia and Nibs has been on watch by himself all this time. He's been awake for days just watching our backs in case the pirates get wind of this and try to attack." she watched in frozen horror as a single trail of hot tears cascaded down Peter's tired chiseled face. "Other than saving you, I did nothing. You needed me and I was utterly useless. All I could do was stare at you. I couldn't think, couldn't move, couldn't spur myself to do anything." Peter's rich brown eyes were filled with a sorrow and regret that swallowed up all of his usual enchanting charisma. "I'm so sorry. I can't tell you how much. This is my entire fault, I know that. I promised to protect you and in the end I failed you miserably. I knew of the dangers of Neverland when I brought you here and I should have taken better care of you. I should have never let you out of my sight. While I was busy training the boys you were drowning!" "Oh Peter that's not-" she tried to say, but he cut her off abruptly with a pained laugh that was so sharp and hollow it grated on her like broken glass. "Yes it is true! You are too good to think it's not my fault, but it is... The Lost Boys have proven themselves to be better men than me. I'm not worthy of being called their leader anymore." Peter hung his head in shame. His gorgeous auburn locks flopped over his forehead and covered his eyes from her view. His body was as tight and unyielding as a piano cord. He looked so resigned and withdrawn. His voice was the barest of whispers when he said, "I'm so sorry." With those last words her heart shattered. Her eyes streamed with thick unstoppable tears. She could take no more of this. "Peter," her voice cracked on his name, but was no less in its harshness, "Stop it now!" Peter's head jerked up in surprise at the forcefulness of her tone. "Don't you dare! Don't you dare go blaming yourself for any of this! I'm the stupid girl who went wandering off alone after you had already warned me of the dangers of the island. You very specifically told me not to leave your side, and like an idiot, I did!" She threw up her hands emphatically at her own stupidity. "Everything that happened to me was of my own doing. So don't you dare wallow in blame Peter! And don't you ever, ever say that you aren't the leader of The Lost Boys ever again! Do you have any idea how much that would hurt them to hear you say that? Do you have any idea how much those guys look up to you? How much they love you? I've only been in this world for a short amount of time and even I can see what you mean to them. You guys are a family. You need them and they need you. Why do you think the boys were so grateful to see me trying to help you when you were sick? Why Slightly had pretty much stayed awake almost three nights in a row helping me look after you. It was for you. And the other Lost Boys as well, everything they did for me, they did for you. They did it because they'd do anything for you. They'd die for you Peter, just as I know you would do for any of them. That's why they chose you to be their leader. So don't you ever brush that off so easily again. It would break their hearts, just like your breaking mine now."  She ended her rant with a choked sob. Her emotions were so raw they gushed out of her mouth like a busted dam. Peter was obviously taken aback by her outburst, but he gathered himself and lifted his hand to her face as he used his thumb to wipe away the steady stream of angry tears that continued to spill from her eyes. "I'm sorry," he breathed. She instantly glared up at him, and he added quickly, "I won't say those things ever again. I can't promise you I won't feel them, but I do promise you not to take everything I have for granted ever again. You are right about The Lost Boys. They are my family and I shouldn't take all their sacrifices for me lightly." She sniffled and accepted his answer. All the anger and heartache she had deflated, leaving her feeling impossibly tired. She didn't want Peter to feel guilty even for a second for what happened but she knew it was a hopeless battle. If anything were to ever happen to Peter she knew it would be hard for her not to take blame for it. That's just what happens when you love someone. Their pain becomes your pain.  "Well I'm sorry I got so emotional. It's been a rough week," she smiled up at him wanly. The corners of Peter's full silken lips tugged up at the edges. Rough week was the biggest understatement of the year. The tense moment between them two had finally passed leaving them both emotionally drained but feeling all the more better for it. Fate would have it that at that moment her stomach just had to let out a growl that was unmistakable in the comfortable silence. She cringed with embarrassment, but the slight humiliation was worth it to see a genuine smile cross Peter's impishly handsome face. "You must be starving. Let's find you something decent to wear so we can go bug Cubby to make us something. I'm sure the guys will all be glad to see you up and about." With that Peter got up from the bed with a liquid grace that you could never emulate. Without hesitation she leaned  against his chest once more; happy to follow wherever he led.