you used to always be with me when i would go to sleep singing into my earbuds so i would have nice dreams but now all i have are nightmares but not because you aren't here you see they are about you
and i hate how i still think about you because it shows how little have grown no matter how much i personally think i've matured
and i just am so angry angry angry at you for making me believe i loved you all that time
and i just wish i had never done the things i did with you i wish i could take back the things i said to you i wish i could take back the things i showed you but i can't
and i think about you when i hear a voice like yours or when my wifi goes out or when people skype or when i hear a name like yours or when i see the color blue or when someone says sweetheart
and i hate how i still get butterflies in the pit of my stomach but sometimes i wonder if they weren't love butterflies but they were fear butterflies the bugs of terror
and i think maybe i was afraid of you a little or else i never would have given in to the things you asked of me
and now i'm angry
and i'm used
and i'm not me anymore
