Just friends (L.T.) [FINISHED]

18 - I'm going crazy

"Are you gonna talk to him when he arrives tomorrow?" I know the answer Niall wants to hear is 'yes' but I don't know if I can do that. Harry just reminded me about the fact that  Louis and Eleanor are coming back from their honeymoon tomorrow. Louis and I arranged that I'd pick him up but I don't think, and the boys agree, that's a good idea. Zayn will pick them up. "He probably wants to talk to you."

"I know, Niall, but I don't want to face him, I'm not ready for that."

"There's no moment you'll be ready for this. You have to go talk to him. Maybe apologize and then talk things out."

"There's nothing to talk about. I ruined his marriage." There's nothing more to say. He doesn't want to talk to me anyway. The truth hurts so much, but I guess it's fair this time. I guess this is what I deserve for doing what I did.

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"Isn't Louis coming back today?"

I sigh. "Yes, mom. Louis is coming back today. I don't have to be reminded of it a hundred times."

Obviously she sees I'm hurt so she gives me a hug. "I'm sorry." My mom and I have Always been so close. "It'll be fine."

"I hope so.."

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I'm at home all alone while Zayn's picking up Louis. Would he say something? If yes, what's he gonna say? What if he's not gonna say anything at all? Can I take that? Maybe he doesn't want to talk? Okay, he probably wants to but I don't. Maybe he's gonna ignore me from now on. I'm going crazy. My thoughts are interrupted by the sounds of a new text.

Louis: 'As soon as I get home, I'm coming over.'

So he does want to talk. I can feel my heart pounding in, almost out, of my chest. Not even a minute later I got another text.

Zayn: 'We'll be home in 20 minutes.'

WHAT??!! 20 MINUTES??? No, no, no! I'm not ready yet! What am I gonna say? What's he gonna say? How do I handle this conversation? He's probably gonna be his sensitive self and that's what I like so much about him. I mean, I like everything about him; he's perfect but.. UGH! I wanna drink some water but because of my shaking hands the water falls next to the glass and when I try to take some food, I can't eat because of them. Is this what stress feels like? I've been so nervous in my life; not even for my final exam. This is the conversation that will decide the rest of my life. Louis' now gonna decide what the rest of my life is gonna look like. I honestly never thought I'd let it come this far. Maybe he loves me too. But why did he marry Eleanor? Maybe they're getting a divorce? What I'm thinking? I don't know what I'd do in his situation. Am I overreacting?

The bell rings. Shit.