Jimin looked wistfully at the older's grimacing face, the mint-haired boy before him keeping his distance. A small frown seemed to be permanently etched onto the younger's features as he looked down at his palms.
The pink-haired had no clue what he did wrong, but every second that he spent living in oblivion was absolute torture for him. Jimin decided to speak up once more, though he wasn't sure how to shape his voice into a tone that sounded less hurt than he really was.
The boy slapped a smile onto his plump lips, cautiously moving closer to Yoongi whilst whispering the older's name to test the waters. He hadn't gotten a reaction; clearly the mint-haired hadn't heard him.
"Yoongs?" Jimin asked, the grin he'd forced onto his pristine features fading away to show his true emotions. It almost felt as if history was repeating itself. He'd always done the exact same thing with Jackson. "Yoongs what did I do?" His voice broke as he slumped down next to the mint-haired boy who only flinched, staying silent as his gaze avoided the other's defeated form.
Jimin reached out to pull on the older's sleeve, the mint-haired jumping away before the boy could get remotely close to touching him. "Please, don't." Yoongi said in a hushed tone, finally meeting the pink-haired boy's eyes. Eyes that were filled to the brim with tears, a single one crawling down Jimin's beautiful cheeks.
All the taller wanted to do was cave in and make the younger happy. He couldn't stand seeing the boy this devastated, especially because he knew that he was the reason for the pink-haired's pain.
"Why?" Jimin sobbed, finally letting his walls down. The floodgates opened, trail after trail of shameful tears making their way down the boy's features. The cheerful, eternally smiling Chim Chim who'd always been joyful around Yoongi just gave up. He felt as though he'd been stupid to let himself fall for someone once more.
He was always prone to getting emotionally ripped to shreds by the ones he loved the most. It was as if the universe was against him, plucking the people that his heart gravitated towards from his grasp just as he was mere inches away from something real.
Jimin felt a twisting pain in his heart, something similar to an iron grip on the organ. A hand digging its nails into his body, scratching through the surface layer of happiness and accessing every hidden ounce of insecurity and weakness he'd spent years working on getting rid of. Yet, with a single incision, they came flooding out of the pink-haired before he could even attempt to stop himself.
"I really can't tell you. I'm so sorry, I want to. I want to hold you so desperately. I want to kiss you again. I want to show you how much I love you and how much I regret the past week or so. I truly do." Yoongi said, watching the shorter's sweater-clad body contort in pain as the genuinely saddened voice rang through the small boy's ears.
"If you want to, I'm right here. If you care for me, why can't you just act like you do instead of speaking in riddles? It's almost as if you think I'm dumb. I fucked something up, didn't I? It's probably my fault and I'm too much of an imbecile to see it. Yoongi, whatever is happening with us has been tearing me apart (A/N Lisa). You can't look me in the eyes. You won't even do as much as hold my hand. Why?" The pink-haired was getting more and more mad at himself with every breathy, hiccuped word that left his lips. The shorter's chest was heaving and by the end of his statement, he collapsed onto his knees as nothing but a bout of self-hatred more intense than any of the others he'd ever felt crashed over him.
"I knew I shouldn't have let you into my fucking heart, Min Yoongi. I knew it. I should have listened to what my brain was trying to tell me. I wasn't ready to fall again. I didn't want to fall in love, not like this... not with someone who doesn't love me." The younger muttered his final sentence before losing all control over his body.
Jimin felt as though he had fainted, but he was conscious of everything happening around him. He was positive he could even move if he tried, he just couldn't find it in himself to get back up. The pink-haired's locks fanned out around his head as the cold, tiled floor pressed against his wet cheek. He tried to open his mouth, but even that was too exhausting. The boy suddenly remembered. This was what his therapist had told him about.
If he were to be exposed to something too emotionally draining, there was a risk of his brain and heart not being able to handle the pain. He hadn't exactly been a stable boy and the amount of times he'd been pushed down only weakened his defenses, which lead to depression. Jimin was told that the depression could lead to something like what he was experiencing at that very moment.
Something severe.
Of course the younger had doubted it, but when he saw Yoongi hovering over him with panic and worry etched onto his face as the pink-haired found himself physically incapable of moving, he knew that it was all real.
Jimin was fully conscious, hearing and absorbing the mumbled strings of words that were spilling out of the mint-haired's mouth as he cradled his head in his palms.
"Christ, this wasn't worth it. I shouldn't have listened to that fucker and just been with Jiminie instead. I could have easily protected my Chim Chim from whatever 'wrath' he was planning. Yeah, I'll protect him from now on. Nothing will happen." The last part of his blubbering came out rushed and frail, almost as if he was trying to convince himself that he could handle whatever the pitch black figure was planning.
Jimin, on the other hand, had absolutely no idea what the older was talking about, which only deepened both his sadness and the hysteria slowly bubbling up inside of him. The pink-haired suddenly noticed the older's silhouette leaning down over him, scooping the shorter gently into his arms in a single tender motion.
Yoongi showered the younger with gentle kisses, constantly muttering apologies against the bubblegum-locked's smooth skin. His voice broke the more he repeated those two words, making the small boy's eyes glaze over again. He felt the mint-haired's lips against his puffy, reddened cheeks that were no doubt drenched in the endless tears his eyes had supplied mere moments ago.
The taller pushed against the door to Jimin's room, careful not to hurt the smaller whilst carrying him towards the bed. Yoongi placed the other's shaking frame on the rose-scented bed sheets, kneeling down next to the mattress after he made sure the younger was tucked in.
The mint-haired carefully ran his fingers over the back of the shivering boy's tiny fists, laying his head gently against the other's resting form. He shut his eyes, silently praying for whatever was happening to the boy to pass as quickly as possible.
For them to be alright again and for the rumbling, navy oceans to finally calm down and let the two sail smoothly.
As the older lost himself in the words he was repeating under his breath, he felt small hands combing through his hair. With a smile, his muscles relaxed as he practically gravitated towards the younger's tentative touch. Before the pink-haired could open his mouth to say a single word, Yoongi was already half way through his first sentence.
"Jimin I'm so, so sorry. I just wanted to protect you. That's all I wanted and I had no clue I was going to make you so sad. Sad enough for whatever just took place to happen. It's all my fault, you didn't do anything wrong baby." Yoongi whispered, his voice constantly cracking as his apologetic tone pierced through the silent air. The younger simply responded by shushing the mint-haired, who seemed to be more distressed than Jimin was.
"Yoongi it's... I'm sorry I reacted the way I did, I was just so fucking terrified. I felt like I messed everything up without even knowing it and—." A hiccup interrupted the frail boy's words, his small body fidgeting underneath the flowery covers. The mint-haired felt his heart break into a million pieces the second he genuinely realized how much pain he'd caused Jimin.
"I promise I'll never hurt you again. I promise, Chim Chim. As long as you're with me, I want to make you happy, because you deserve the world and I'm going to try to give that to you." Yoongi inhaled deeply, shutting his eyes.
"You were wrong earlier. You shouldn't have assumed that I don't love you, Jimin, because I do."
*
I'M YODELING WHY DID I WRITE THIS SO DRAMATICALLY ALSO HAPPY SOON-TO-BE EASTER, BABES
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Heaven on Earth (P.JM x M.YG) | ✔
Fanfiction"You're my heaven on earth, Park Jimin, and everything that you have given me is worth more than anything I could've gotten from so called 'paradise'." - Boy x boy Top! Yoongi Bottom! Jimin ⚠️ Trigger Warnings ⚠️ >Suicidal thoughts >Implicati...
