Mixed Signals.

45.

Erin had been quite poorly, it was stress related. She was finishing up her work with us at intelligence. She'd made herself quite ill stressing out. She was letting herself get upset and angry over the work, she had been caring for Florence and spending time with Kelly. So it was clear to see how stressed she was getting.

I locked the door behind me and saw the kitchen light on dimly in the back of the house. I hung my keys up on the shelf and left my shoes by the door. I went into the kitchen and smiled when Erin was sat at the table writing files out and Kelly was sat opposite her filing her work for her. I brewed some coffee before sitting down on the end of the table. I left them both some room to carry on doing what they were.

"Erin you do realise it's 1:00am yeah? You might want to sleep soon." I smiled.

"I've literally got a few bits to do. I'll go to bed soon I promise." She smiled.

"Erin. Please go to bed." Kelly took a sip from his coffee, his eyes were piercings her, she smiled at him and then she stood up, taking her coffee and going upstairs. I smiled at her then looked down. I felt bad because I felt jealous of Kelly. I hated the relationship they had. I looked at Florence who was asleep in the mosses basket next to Kelly and I noticed how much they looked alike, Florence looked like Kelly, the dark hair and the dark eyes. She'd changed and now it made me think. I worried, I looked at them both and they way they looked literally the same worried me.

*

I rolled over, head banging and I ached in my arms and back. I rubbed my eyes and turned the alarm clock off. I could hear Kelly laughing and talking to Florence but when I looked at the clock it was half 9 in the morning which meant Jay would still be here. I put on a top and some random black and white trouser things before going downstairs and hugging Kelly. I took Florence from him with a smile.

"Where's Jay?" I smiled.

"Gone to work."

"Oh right okay. Did you stay last night?"

"Yeah between us me and Jay finished up all your paperwork and Jay's taken it back to the unit with him. You can start your new job whenever your ready." He smiled. I nodded and sat on the sofa with Florence on my lap. I tickled her and played with her for a little while. Kelly sat opposite me on the armchair with a smile on his face.

"Are you okay?" He smiled.

"I'm not sure Kel." I sighed, I sat Florence next to me as I began to cry. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me but I wasn't myself, I knew I wasn't myself. I think it was because I had felt so ill and I knew I needed Jay with me but he was keeping a distance to deal with the fact he knew I had to chose between my old job and my new one. He knew how I felt and Kelly knew how everything was going wrong for me. It was clear that I was apparently I was struggling with the job of being a mum and a police officer. I felt fine but to everyone else I was a mess. I didn't want to slip back into drinking. Florence was going to be 1 in a few weeks and there was no way I was missing her birthday.

"Erin please just talk to me." He smiled kneeling down in front of me.

*

I wasn't sure what else I could do, she was past the point of help, just sat here now watching her broke me. She had fallen apart already. I just held her hand while she cried. I could think of another way to do anything in which would help her. I knew she needed me but I wasn't sure if I could help her. I just closed my eyes and remembered everything we've had. The two of us were happy when we were together, even after we were still happy to be together. Whether it being in a relationship or just friends we felt happy to actually be together all the time. We knew we needed each other, I really knew I needed her there for me at all times and she always knew I was here to help her. Things would be better, we both knew it.

We both stood up and I put my arms round her, 1 hand on her head holding her against my chest while she cried. I smiled and kissed her head. She stopped crying after a little while and she composed herself and managed to sort herself out.

"I'm going to go to work now. But I suggest maybe relaxing for a while and making sure your okay." I smiled.

"I will." She nodded.

**

Hank called me into his office and I really couldn't be dealing with it at the moment, I sighed and sat down opposite his desk.

"What's up?" I sighed.

"What's going on with Erin? Is she okay?"

"I don't know, and I don't think she knows. She's been struggling, she's not ready for this choice, she doesn't know what to do. All she can think about is Florence, me and doing what's right but she doesn't know what's right. She needs to think about herself but she isn't." I could honestly feel myself about to cry.

"It's okay. She's got all the time she needs. She can wait until Florence is 1 if she wants?"

"Yeah we might have too. I mean it's only 3 weeks until her birthday so maybe if she waits and relaxes for these 3 weeks."

"Well I was about to agree..." He smiled looking behind me. I stood up and turned round and she was stood by my desk with Florence in her pram. She had bought me breakfast. I went out and hugged her. She had puffy, red tearful eyes so it was clear she'd been crying.

"I love you." I smiled.

"I love you too." She kissed me gently.

* * *

The week of Florence's birthday. It had been hard. Her birthday was on Friday and it was currently Sunday evening. We'd been making decorations and everything, we were proper getting prepared. Everyone from work and some firehouse friends were invited with their children. Although she was too young to understand what was going on we thought it would be nice to have people she's grown up with come round for the day. I mean who wouldn't want to spend their birthday with Uncle Kelly and Grandad Hank.

I went downstairs now Florence was settled, I smiled at Jay as he was stood in the kitchen doorway.

"Erin can we talk?" He smiled.

"Of course. What is wrong?"

"Florence."

"What about her?" I smiled again.

"She isn't mine is she?" Hearing him say those words broke my heart, it hurt to hear him say that.

"Yes she is! Of course she is. I know she doesn't really look like you much but she is yours Jay."

"She looks like Kelly!"

"Yeah? I didn't sleep with him!" I shouted.

"Then why does she look like him? Why is she closer with him? Erin tell me why?"

"I don't know Jay but I promise you I didn't sleep with him?"

"I don't care what our promising me. She is his."

"Don't be like this Jay."

"Your a lying cheat Erin. We're over." He screamed in my face. I grabbed my coat and stormed out the house, slamming the front door behind me. I walked towards the firehouse to go and see Kelly. I was so pissed off. Then I remembered I had a appointment at the hospital about my back so I headed towards Med.