Mixed Signals.

43.

"Mama will get your bottle now sweetie." I smiled holding her on my hip. Jay yawned and handed me the bottle. I smiled as she began taking it.

"6 months has gone quickly." He smiled.

"Yeah I can't believe she's 6 months already." I laughed. She took the entire bottle and snuggled into my chest. Jay took the bottle from me and washed it up. I sat her on the sofa and she finally could hold herself up. She smiled and laughed at us. Her cute little laugh. Her hair was dark and everywhere and it was strange because her eyes were both dark and blue depending on the day. If she was tired her eyes were dark if she was really happy her eyes were blue. She was just beautiful and we were so proud we had created this perfect little girl.

"Florence?" I smiled.

"Mii...Meee." She burst into laughter.

"Yes. You! You are Florence! Who am I?"

"M--mu...mu...m" She smiled.

"Mummy? I'm mummy." I laughed. "Who's that?" I pointed to Jay.

"J...Ja....Jayyyy?" She flopped down on the sofa and tried to move along the sofa but she looked like a fish flopping along. Jay just looked at me and walked out the room.

"Daddy. That was daddy." I sighed. I put her in the play pen by the window with some toys and she seemed content. I went upstairs to find Jay - who was sat on the bed with tearful eyes.

"Hey." He smiled.

"What's wrong?" I sat on the bed next to him.

"She doesn't even call me dad?"

"She's only young Jay. She's 6 months old."

"Erin she spends more time with Kelly than me."

"Because you work late. You work for ages and I have to do everything around the house so Kelly takes her some times for me. It means I can have a break when your at work."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise I left everything down to you." He sighed/

"It's fine." I smiled. I sat closer to him and rested my chin on his shoulder and I kissed him. I did love him and I knew he was finding this hard. Parenthood was hard and especially considering in the time we'd given birth I had to have surgery and it had been hard. I mean Jay was the only one who had seen me at my worst.

*

She closed her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder. I smiled and kissed her head. It upset me because we'd been through so much - I mean the pregnancy hadn't exactly been easy but then the birth was just as hard. I mean Erin had somewhat prepared herself for a C-section but then it was the hardest thing ever to wait for it. It just seemed pretty tough but then she bounced back, she began doing so much better and we got home and she didn't even tell me she'd felt so poorly, like if she had told me I would of stayed with her more but no the one time I leave her she passes out and seizures. Now that was hard to witness. I felt like that was my fault but taking the damage from that was so hard. I mean hearing Florence be so happy around mummy but not even recognising me was even harder. I understood she was just 6 months old but still she knew Erin as mummy but me. I was Jay and that was heart-breaking. Things would be easier it was okay but I think what made it worse for me was that Hank had told me her past and that nearly made me think I can't stay here with her because I'm going to cause her a relapse. I mean she used to deal, she was a thief, she was a addict and a alcoholic and it broke her completely. After hearing Hank tell me that there was no way in my head I could stay with her because I wasn't going to help her but then I remembered I'd helped her so far so there was no way I could just leave her. I did love her and now I love her more than I could ever imagine it was possible to love a women. Proposing to her was the best thing I ever did because now look we were happily married and then to top it all off we've got the most beautiful baby girl and hopefully soon we will all be doing okay so we could sort it all out. We were happy and that was the main thing.